Durarara!: Nothing
by EibonVirgo
Summary: Ellie Jacobson is mischievous. Whether it's stealing all of Izaya Orihara's business, messing with kids in the Dollars' chatroom, or causing general trouble around the Ikebukuro area, she has her hands full. But for some reason, she leaves Shizuo Heiwajima alone. Why? Because he has done nothing wrong. (ShizuoXOC) (Slight IzayaXOC)
1. Preface

Durarara! : Nothing

Preface:

**Hello everyone! I apologize for not posting lately, I have a lot of writer's block going on... **

**Here is a Durarara! fanfic that I've been planning on rewriting for a while. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

It was Monday, and it was sunny. The wind was breezing, and the city had just recovered from rain.

Just another day after school, I sauntered home to Shinra and Celty.

They weren't my real family, but they sure did act like it. I didn't like to think about my real family.

I reached the train station, where the red light was blinking. I stared blankly as the train passed by me in a blur, separating the street in two halves.

Once the light was gone, I stated across at the broken glass shattered across the street. The big windows of the general shop were destroyed, the door flung open against the building next door, and merchandise spread across the street.

Still staring, I walked over the train tracks and peered at the inside of the shop, where there were people collapsed everywhere. I ran over to the nearest shopkeeper, a young-looking woman with round glasses, and attempted to lift a fallen cabinet off of her.

"Hey!" I shouted, shaking her. "Are you okay?!"

The woman moaned and rolled over a little, unconscious. I struggled to push the heavy wooden thing off of her, and shook her again. "What happened?!"

Another moan, and she opened her brown eyes for a moment. "A-A boy..."

"A boy?" I was about to ask her what that meant, but she slipped unconscious again.

Sirens pulsed down the street, and I booked it as to not get into any trouble.

Making my way south to the park, I sat down at the fountain, where I proceeded to watch the sun fall below the horizon. It was then I decided to finally head home.

As I slipped out of the park between the trees, I noticed a small boy huddled up on spark bench. Was he alone?

No, that couldn't be right. I'd been alone once too, and I'd been much different.

With a breath, I touched the boy's shoulder, and he looked up at me with incandescent brown eyes.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

* * *

**I know, short. But I needed some backstory and I spent most of my school day today mulling over how to keep a preface long enough to have its own file... **

**Thanks anyway for reading! **

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	2. Opportunity

**'Kay, so my computer's acting funky, and I had to repost this.**

**Enjoy, I guess...!**

* * *

1: Opportunity

_[[TARO TANAKA LOGGED IN]]_

_Taro Tanaka: Good evening!_

_Kanra: Good evening, Taro!_

_Setton: Hello._

_Yei: What's up, Tanaka-san?_

_Taro Tanaka: I'm all packed up! Moving to Ikebukuro tomorrow._

_Setton: That's great! You'll love it. It's a great city._

_Kanra: Yeah, it's a blast! Only, there are some things you should watch out for..._

_Yei: Oh? Are you suddenly an expert on Ikebukuro, Kanra?_

_Kanra: Maybe, maybe not. Why do you care?_

_Setton: Break it up, you two._

_Taro Tanaka: Kanra, what were you talking about?_

_Kanra: There are a bunch of crazy things that happen in Ikebukuro all the time. Whether it's Shizuo Heiwajima, The Black Rider..._

_Yei: Don't forget Izaya Orihara. That guy's trouble._

_Kanra: How about Elena Jacobson? She's got quite the bark._

_Setton: You guys!_

_Taro Tanaka: Hey, hey, slow down! What's wrong with all these people? Why are they dangerous?_

_Kanra: They're all just people to be aware of. Like Shizuo Heiwajima? He's crazy strong and has a terrifying temper!_

_Setton: Kanra, you really shouldn't judge people by their covers._

_Kanra: Why, Setton, do you personally know Shizuo Heiwajima? Or are you one of the yakuza?_

_Setton: No, Kanra. That's not it. _

_Yei: See, Kanra, if people were to be judged by their cover, I would be able to judge you as a total jerk with no common decency._

_Setton: That's enough, you two. Yeah, Taro, there are people in Ikebukuro you should be aware of, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're dangerous._

_Yei: Well, it depends on who you talk to. There are some idiots out there who don't think before they speak, and also don't accept things very easily. _

_Setton: I'll agree with you there, Yei._

_Kanra: Then again, there are some of them that are insightful and observe their surroundings. They usually have the same opinion about the rest of the population._

_Yei: Well, then, those people aren't as smart as they think they are._

_Kanra: Are you being a hypocrite, Yei?_

_Setton: Kanra!_

_Kanra: What? I was just stating a point._

_Setton: Here's the deal, Taro. Stay clear of Yei and Kanra, and you'll be fine._

_Kanra: Hey!_

_Yei: Meh._

_Setton: Maybe we'll meet in real life, then. Who knows? _

_Taro Tanaka: I hope so! Anyways, I should turn in. I have to catch the early train tomorrow morning._

_Setton: Good luck with your move!_

_Kanra: See you around!_

_Yei: Lates, Tanaka-san._

_[[TARO TANAKA LOGGED OUT]]_

_Setton: Honestly, you two. Keep the arguing for real life, when there's no one around to listen._

_Yei: S'not my fault he's an Internet stalker, too..._

_Kanra: Oh, you're one to talk, Ellie-kun._

_Yei: You wanna go, eskimo? I'll reach through the freaking computer and beat your ass off!_

_Setton: Ugh, you two... You spend a while lecturing someone about people who don't think before they act, and this is what you're displaying?_

_Kanra: Told you Ellie-kun was a hypocrite._

_Yei: The next time I see you, I am completely kicking your ass._

_Kanra: Game on, Ellie-kun~ ;)_

_[[KANRA LOGGED OUT]]_

_Yei: UGHHHHHHH ASDFLJKL _

_Setton: Keep your cool!_

_Yei: I keep asking myself why this guy pissed Shizuo off so much... I must be blind, or something!_

_Setton: Like I said, save your arguments for real life. You usually win that way._

_Yei: ...guess you're right._

_Setton: I should go._

_Yei: K. See you around._

_[[SETTON LOGGED OUT]]_

_[[YEI LOGGED OUT]]_

* * *

Let me explain something right here and now. I'm an opportunist. Give me an opening, and I'll take it no matter who you are.

I live in a little city district in Tokyo called Ikebukuro; it's a city where people start over, where they're reborn as opportunists.

How does this work, might you ask?

Well, I'm an informant. I make money off of people's suffering, so to speak. A drug lord wants someone off of his tail? A business wants to track down a former client? Yakuza wants someone dead? I'm the one they call.

I saw an opportunity to live excitingly, comfortably, and I took it.

See? Opportunist.

In the dictionary, the word "opportunist" is defined like so: "One who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences."

I've never been much of a people person. Guess I live by the book. I don't often care what happens to people in this world.

After all, they had their chance to shape me into someone honorable; it just slipped away too little, too late.

But I have this weak spot, like everyone does...

Guess it just took me time to figure it out.

* * *

Gazing down at the tiny city streets that looked like capillaries branching into one big vein, I decided that he'd be out and about by now. I was itching for some excitement.

I slid down the nearest fire escape, down into the alley. My red hair flashed in the bright lights, and I pulled my dark hood over the top of my head.

Tonight was clear and not particularly hot or cold; I'd settled with a yellow graphic print tee shirt and pleated skirt to battle the weather in, since it wasn't supposed to rain tonight.

I scaled another alley wall in my faded black combat boots, skimming along precipices high above the city.

From here, I could see Simon's shop, even his voice drifting on the wind: "Russia Sushi! Russia Sushi!"

The night was quiet, a calm before the inevitable storm.

The shout came from South Ikebukuro, the fountain park.

"IZAAAAYAAAA!"

Wonderful, I thought. He's gone and bothered Heiwajima-san again. Hopping the rooftops, I skirted to the edge of the city until I was in view of the lamps in the park, piercing the never-ending night.

A mailbox suddenly sailed through the air and landed a few feet away from the fountain and a skipping raven-haired informant whose furred coat was flung out behind him.

Then the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro himself came running out of the trees, swinging around a lamppost he'd obviously relieved the park of.

"Come and get me, Shizu-Chan~!" Izaya called playfully, waving his flick blade in the air.

Shizuo raised the post in the air as to swing at the informant like a baseball bat, when I called out to stop them.

"Yoo-hoo!" I shouted. "Izzy-kun, I'm lonely! Come and play!"

Sarcasm dripped thickly in my own voice, which I followed with a coy smirk.

"Why, Ellie-kun, why would I ever want to play with you?"

I despised that nickname; the honorific he used was specifically meant for a boy. I'm very self-conscious about myself, and it ticks me off because he's basically calling me a man.

"You're right," I sighed melodramatically. "So you'd rather play with someone you can toy with instead of someone who is clever enough to toy with you? That would be quite the fun game, you know."

"I prefer to play by my rules, Ellie-kun. I don't like anyone else's but my own!"

"What a shame," I countered. "And here I thought you were already aware that we were playing my game!"

Even from so high up, I saw the flash in Izaya's mahogany eyes. I'd captured his attention.

"So come out and play, Izzy-kun," I purred. "We'll have so much fun together."

I fingered the knife in the pocket of my jacket, poking it out of the black fabric and letting it glint in the lights of the city.

"You're so high up, Ellie-kun. I feel lazy today."

I slid down a nearby fire escape, ruffling the feathers of a pair of roosting pigeons.

Deciding to ruffle another pigeon's feathers-so to speak-I ran in a beeline towards the raven-haired informant, so used to our fights that I knew already which way he would dodge. My knife ripped across his left shoulder, slicing through the arm of the furry jacket and drawing a thin line of red out of his forearm.

The speed of Izaya's change in expression was quick, but I had already taken off running even before his smug expression had shifted to surprised, then dark and angry.

"Catch me if you can!" I called over one shoulder.

A streak of noir came after me, and I felt a triumphant grin sneak onto my lips after successfully averting Izaya's attention to me. Now, it was all about the cat and mouse.

I turned my usual route, along the second alleyway into downtown, and expected him to follow me. When he didn't, I decided to scale a wall as he was probably finding another route. Lord knows, no one scores one on Izaya Orihara and gets away with it.

You know, except for me.

Along the top of the building, my hood fell and my red hair flew out behind me, glinting in the lights of the district.

I cleared the edge of one building and landed on another, just as I spotted Izaya creeping out of a fire escape.

Izaya wasn't one for chasing, but I'd left a considerable scar along one of his arms, and the sadistic bastard obviously liked to win his games. Didn't do him much good that I was winning mine as well as his.

I recognized the next building; I slid down to the third fire escape from the top, hoping she'd left her window open.

Yes! It was! I slid in through the window and closed it behind me, locking he latch and closing the curtains.

"Um... Hey?" Naomi asked from where she sat on her small bed, typing on her computer.

"Hey, Naomi," I huffed, breathless from the chase. "Sorry for just dropping in. I was messing with Izaya and I needed an easy escape."

"Gah, that fucker again?" Naomi sighed, running a hand through her shoulder length brunette hair and rolling her honey colored eyes. "What'd ya do this time?"

"Probably gave him another scar," I answered nonchalantly. "I'd better get moving, he might be closing off my exits."

"When you die, can I sing at your funeral?"

I glared at her and sauntered out the door, searching for the nearest window. Naomi was one of my best friends, but she was almost as sarcastic as me, which sometimes pissed me off.

Once I'd found a good exit and scaled to the roof of a nearby office building, I decided to make my way home.

Messing with Izaya Orihara wasn't my favorite thing to do (even though it was a hell of a lot of fun), but I did it anyway mostly because of what I could gain from it.

Izaya and I were both informants, although he worked in Shinjuku, while I worked in Ikebukuro. We used to skirmish over business in Shibuya, but he would always win by playing dirty. So, in retaliation, I have now taken to stealing his business whenever I feel like it. How?

See, when I piss Izaya off, he never pays attention to anything. It wasn't normal for him to lose focus, but I'd known him long enough to know what made him tick. He's blinded by his want to kill me for whatever I've done, whatever I had the nerve to mess with him about, to the point of which I can then toy with him whatever way I want.

I think most of it is that he thinks he's superior to humans, and is bothered by the fact that I can get away with pretty much anything.

Smirking to myself, I slipped Izaya's phone out of my pocket and fingered the slim screen. I'd have it back to him before he realized it was gone of course, but it'd be wiped already. All his information currently on it would be mine, along with every customer in the past few months wanting business with him.

My apartment was in the middle of downtown, and full of rich inhabitants. I lived on the eighth floor, in a nice apartment with four rooms and a gorgeous view of the city.

Once I was out of the elevator, I made my way to the end of the hall where my apartment was, and entered nonchalantly.

My secretary was just packing up for the day. "Welcome back, Jacobson-san," she said. "Did you have a nice outing?"

"It was very nice, Yori," I replied. "Thank you."

Yori was petite and shy with close cropped dark hair and green eyes, a light sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She gave a slight bow to signal her dismissal.

"Yori, on your way out, I need you to deliver something to the Aniplex in Shinjuku," I said.

"Yes, what is it?"

"A cell phone I need taken to Izaya Orihara," I replied as the last of the data cleared off of his system and onto my computer. "I know you pass it on you way home, so I wanted to ask if you'd mind sidetracking for me."

"Of course." I handed her the empty shell of the phone and dismissed her.

Standing up, I glanced out at the city, which was still moving even as the clock had tolled midnight.

My own phone buzzed feverishly on the desk, making an annoying hollow sound on the wood. I picked up after the first two rings. "Hello?"

"Go open your window."

Then he hung up, and I sighed. What an impatient man.

Sauntering into my room to the right of my office space, I tore my curtains open and unlatched the window, shoving it open as far as it would go.

"About time," he grumbled as I leaned against the window pane.

"Jeez, calm yourself," I said. "What do you want, Shizuo?"

The blonde man huffed loudly and took his sunglasses off to clean them on the sleeve of his dress shirt. Then he put them back on. "Just making sure your heart's still beating."

"I'm me, you ass. You think I'd let him gain an inch on me?"

"Just making sure."

"You have to quit letting him get to you like that," I grumbled.

"It's not that easy," he sniped.

"It is, if you just gain a little self control."

"Well, I know he irritates you."

"Yeah, but I know how to irritate him, so it doesn't really matter."

Obviously, Shizuo knew I was right. Being the stubborn little shit he was, he blew me off and ignored my point.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, whatever, don't listen to me. You're welcome, anyway."

"Tch," he huffed. Shizuo had always been a difficult person to deal with. Then again, he tolerated me, so at least we were getting somewhere. Being neighbors to the point where I could open my window and talk across the alley to him had to be (bad) luck.

We'd been sort-of-almost-friends since junior high, courtesy of Shinra, who always liked to butt his head into other peoples' business. Now, the closest contact we had was when we talked across windows or when I took the liberty of crossing town to mess with Izaya.

"Although, you may be happy to know that I stole his cell phone and cleaned it out," I continued, playing with a stray wisp of my bang.

"Well, at least you have good news."

"My secretary is bringing the thing back to him. I think he's going to hate me even more after this."

"In that case, watch your back."

"Oh, psh, let him try to hurt me. It won't do him any good."

Shizuo scowled. "Quit being so confident. What if something does happen?"

"Then it'll happen," I stated simply. "Why, are you WORRIED about me, Heiwajima-san?"

His scowl deepened, and he was obviously unamused. "Don't push your luck, ginger."

"Wow, harsh," I sighed melodramatically. "It's late, I'm going to bed."

"I don't care," he grumbled, lighting a cigarette and sending a plume of thick smoke out his window.

"Good night, Heiwajima-san," I called, then yawned, stretching my arms. I slid the window shut and locked the latches, drawing the curtains over.

I sauntered into my outer office again, gazing out of the huge glass window that gave me full view of downtown Ikebukuro.

I knew that Izaya worked in a similar area, a big apartment in wide view of Shinjuku. Were he and I as different as I thought?

Now, supposedly, Izaya "loves" humans. I personally think they can all go to hell. All of them make these stupid choices and then they blame someone else for it. How lame is that?

Then there are those other humans who get caught in the crossfire and end up getting something they don't deserve.

I know I'm a human, and I've done some things I'm not proud of... But people must have different opinions on me, depending on who they are and how they know me. I'm still not sure where I stand on the subject.

Actually, I don't really care. I am who I am. That's all that matters.

My phone buzzed on the wooden desk. I picked it up, not recognizing the number. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

The raspy, ghetto voice on the other hand replied, "I need information on Izaya Orihara."

With a smug smile, I gazed out the plated glass window.

"Gladly."

When opportunity knocks, I will _always_ answer the call.

* * *

**Like I said, my computer is going crazy today. I've reposted this like three times already. -.-' it doesn't help that my autocorrect is going insane as well.**

**Despite that, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	3. Maybe

**Hello loyal fanfiction-readers! I haven't posted on this story for a while... I was scrolling through my documents and came across this, when I realized I'd finished it hahahaha **

**Without further ado, here's the next chapter~**

* * *

2: Maybe

_The little redheaded girl admired her crayon drawing, a disheveled mess of red and blue and green that seemed to mesh into a familiar harmony to most seven-year-olds._

_ "Mommy, look!" she declared proudly, jade eyes glistening with childhood innocence._

_ The girl's mother, a young woman in her late twenties with dull brown hair and honey eyes turned from where she'd been quietly stirring a boiling pot of ramen noodles._

_ She smiled kindly at her youngest daughter. "That's lovely, Elena! You're such a wonderful artist!"_

_ "Mom, she's seven," the thirteen-year old, Karoline, grumbled from where she was slumped in front of a television set. "Don't encourage her."_

_ "Karri, that's no way to talk!" the mother snapped in a light voice._

_ "I think it's awesome," the eighteen-year old, Kaoru, commented. He lifted his redheaded sister onto his lap. "You're quite the artist, Ells!"_

_ "Thank you!" the little redhead exclaimed happily, smiling widely at her older brother. "Do you think Daddy will like it?"_

_ The lock of the small house jiggled, and Kaoru looked down at his younger sister. "Why don't you find out, Ells?"_

_ The redhead jumped down and ran towards the door. "Daaaaaaddyyyy!"_

_ A tall, handsome man in his late twenties came through the door and loosened his tie, running a hand through his red hair. His stressed face broke into a smile when his youngest daughter tackled him in a hug. _

_ "Ellie! How was your day, sweetheart?"_

_ "It was really good!" the little redhead held up the paper ruined with colors. "I drew you a picture!"_

_ "Oh, it's lovely! I'll have to buy a frame for it!" the man smiled and his wife came around and kissed him hello._

_ "How was your day, Edward?"_

_ "It was all right," he answered nonchalantly, wrapping an arm around his wife and lifting his daughter onto his other arm. The trio re-entered the kitchen, and the elder siblings rushed to say hello to their father._

_ "What's for dinner?"_

_ "I'm making ramen with Kung Pao chicken."_

_ The small, close knit family then began to share stories of their day's experiences._

* * *

There are some days when I rise with the sun, and others when I sleep and sleep and sleep, because there's no one to stop me.

Today's just one of those days.

In particular, I was lazy during the weekends, and Saturday was usually my sleep-until-Sunday-day. So, you could probably picture how pissed I was when my phone woke me up at 7 in the morning.

First, I thought it was just an annoying buzzing that was coming from inside my dream; then I realized that it was my phone, idling on the nightstand.

Groaning, I groped along the wooden piece of furniture for the stupid piece of technology and flipped it open, trying not to sound like I'd just woken up.

"Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Hey, Ellie," Tom Tanaka said nonchalantly.

"Tom," I sighed, running a hand through my long red bangs. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"It's not that early," he sniped. "But apparently, it is for Shizuo. I've been trying to get ahold of him for almost an hour."

"You're asking me to wake him up?"

"If you could do that and head over here with him?"

"Give me an hour or two," I suggested.

"No problem."

"The things I do for you, Tom."

"Don't remind me."

We exchanged our goodbyes and I hung up the phone, rolling out of bed and taking most of my time to deal with the tangled red mess I called my hair.

Most who know me or see me think I dye it; it's funny how stupid some people can be. My mother was pure Japanese, and my father was European, mostly Scotch-Irish. My two older siblings inherited my mom's dark hair and eyes, while I got my dad's red hair and green eyes.

It took me about five minutes to get fully dressed—a tee shirt, jeans, and comfy flats—and call Shizuo's cell.

I waited for the dial tone, and after opening my window, I could hear it ringing loudly across the alley. Dumb fuck left his window open.

The tone rang, and I decided to leave a message. I almost laughed, listening as my own voice echoed around his apartment.

"Hey, Shizuo; pick up your phone. You and I have work to do, so get up off your lazy ass and get dressed before I come and break down your door myself!"

I hung up, and no sound came through the apartment, which kind of pissed me off. I gathered my keys, wallet, and phone and headed out the door; dumb blonde didn't know I had his spare key!

Sometimes, Tom wanted me to come and gather information on a client that he and Shizuo needed to collect from, which was probably my favorite job to do ever; I got paid for sitting around all day and messing with computers.

I took the elevator down to the lobby, exiting through the foyer of the building, and then turning to the building neighboring.

Shizuo lived in a nice upscale place like me—technically, both buildings belonged to the same company, so we were neighboring tenants. He lived on the eighth floor, level with me, and directly across from my apartment.

I knocked first, intending to give him a chance to answer before I opened up myself.

I gave him around two and a half minutes, which was pretty damn long to be standing at a door, then used my own key to get inside.

The place actually looked pretty clean, totally untouched. I had a few thoughts that he wasn't here, at least until I saw that he'd collapsed on the couch, fully dressed and sleeping like a bunny.

"Shizuo," I murmured, sighing. "Shizuo, wake up."

He groaned and rolled over, ignoring me.

I rolled my eyes and went for plan B, going into his room and grabbing his alarm clock, setting it for exactly a minute from now. Then I left it next to his head and went back to his room to be out of the way when he broke something.

Staring out the window, I could see my apartment directly across the way, and I picked his phone up off of the bed. Scrolling through, I could see four missed calls from Tom and one from me.

Then the alarm went off, and there was a very loud crashing noise from the living room. I stuck his phone in my pocket and poked my head out the door.

"Are you awake?"

He rolled over again, glaring at me through his sunglasses. "No. Go away."

I sighed and began to gather the broken pieces of the alarm clock from where they lay on the coffee table. "You need a new alarm clock."

"Nightstand," he grumbled.

I went back into his room, stretching a bit, and opened up the cabinet in the bottom of the nightstand where there were at least ten more identical clocks; basically, he smashed things a lot and had to be prepared for it.

I took two out, putting the first one next to his bed, then setting the other a minute and putting it back next to his head.

"We could do this all day," I pointed out.

"Fine, I'm up," he grumbled, standing and then pushing me onto the couch out of annoyance.

I jumped up and shook my red hair out, sauntering past him. Then I tossed his phone at him. "You've got four missed calls from Tom, and one from me. What the _hell_ were you doing last night?"

"I was out late," was all he said.

Then he left the room to change, while I took eggs and cheese out of the fridge to make breakfast.

Shizuo was back before I was finished, and took a bottle of milk from the fridge. "Smells good."

I scoffed. "I feel like a housewife."

"Hmph." then he put on a pot of coffee.

I guess this was one exception to the contact I had with Shizuo, since Tom kind of needed me to keep him on his feet when he wasn't around.

Originally, I didn't really want much to do with him, but Celty pushed me into it. He was kind of rude, sarcastic, and generally hot-tempered. I remembered Shizuo being more mellow in junior high, despite destroying lots of the school property as well as most of the bones in some particular students' bodies.

After a while, I just learned to get used to it and just not be in the same room as him when he blew his top.

I think he got around to tolerating me too, but we definitely weren't on a personal level with each other. I was more like that with Shizuo's brother, Kasuka.

Kasuka was very polite and smooth with whatever he did, not to mention attractive.

Not that Shizuo wasn't; It's only that in the past, I lost my faith in finding a "soul mate" or whatever, and deduced that I just wasn't very attractive. It's very easy for me to hang around men, since I really don't think of them as a potential mate.

I'm not lesbian, either. It's not that there's anything wrong with it; I'm just straight and I'm not planning on changing that.

I'm single and lonely, and totally fine with it.

Shizuo sat down and slid me a mug of coffee, and was snarfing down breakfast when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number at first. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Hello, this is Mikiya Awakusu."

"Good morning, Awakusu-san. How may I help you?"

"My daughter's gone off again, and I'm worried for her. Would you mind locating her and keeping an eye on her?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Elena, I appreciate this."

"It's no trouble. Have a lovely day."

The line went dead, and I turned and realized that Shizuo was staring at me. "Who was it?"

"Awakusu," I answered nonchalantly. "Akane's gone off somewhere again."

"Meh. Why does she keep getting herself into trouble?"

"She wants to be like you," I laughed. "You're more of a role model than you think."

Shizuo gave a careless scoff and got up to put his plate in the sink.

"We've killed around an hour," I told him. "I told Tom to give me two."

"Then start walking, ginger," he told me sarcastically.

I huffed and sauntered out the door, waiting for him to follow.

We took the elevator in silence, which really was awkward because it was absolutely silent. No elevator music required.

The walk to the tax building was pretty short, but it seemed long and arduous to me. I was so bad at talking or being within a five-meter radius of Shizuo; it was just awkward because of all the shit that had gone down in high school.

After all, when you make friends with a dude with a weird tick in his brain, shit does indeed go down.

When we reached the tax building, Shizuo took the elevator. I purposely took the stairs, again because of that unbearable awkwardness.

I have a lot of pet peeves, and awkwardness is one of the biggest.

Tom was on his phone and surrounded by stacks of paper when we reached the office. He looked stressed, and it was only 9:15 in the morning.

Vorona was sprawled upside down in a desk chair, her legs hanging over the back and her blonde hair falling over her eyes.

After Tom finished his phone call, he gave me this look like I'd just saved him from sudden death. "Thanks, Ellie."

"Don't mention it," I sighed casually.

"Morning, by the way."

"Morning," I said in return out of politeness. I elbowed Shizuo in the side, which probably gave me a bruise rather than hurting him, and he grunted noncommittally in response.

"Good morning, Shizuo," Vorona greeted cooly. "Elena..."

"Hello, Vorona," I said curtly.

I can't really explain why I'm not so fond of Vorona.

Maybe because she's blonde and sporty and beautiful. Maybe it's because she's a better fighter than I am. Maybe it's because she's cocky and acts superior to me. Or maybe it's because Shizuo just likes her better than me even though I've known him longer.

I don't know. I just have this problem with her that I've never been able to pinpoint.

"Move please," I snapped in her general direction for access to the computer.

"No problem," she said simply, curtly, passing me with a look in her eye that glared at me like, _'I'm superior._'

I plopped down in the seat and logged onto the server the way I always did, waiting for Tom to give me something to do.

"There's a name and a photo of a couple of guys I need to track down up in the tray," Tom said. "That's all for today. As soon as you're done, Shizuo, Vorona, and I can head out."

"I'll be done in no time," I replied casually.

When I touch technology, I almost lapse into a completely different world. I feel powerful, like I have the world at my fingertips.

In a way, I do. I have access to every personal and secret record in the world.

Knowledge is power, and I _like_ power.

The clients in question were each American, people who had come here to start again. No doubt running from the American government.

The woman was elder and her photo showed her of decrepit age.

She was a con artist, who broke into people's bank accounts as well as borrowing gargantuan amounts of money from banks and loan centers.

She wasn't too difficult to find; she was here in Tokyo, spending all of her money to her heart's content. It registered every time she swiped one of her many credit cards.

The second client was a young man, around eighteen. His mugshot depicted a tan-faced delinquent with dark hair and pock-marks in his skin. No doubt the face of someone who had run from home and was trapped in hard times with nothing to his name.

I felt a pang of familiarity. I was in that position once...

In the moment I felt pity on him, I had already pinpointed his cell phone location; a warehouse in eastern Shinjuku.

But like I said, I'm a opportunist. I have no time for the welfare of anyone else.

"Finished," I said absently, and I realized that Tom and Shizuo had been having a conversation while I was locked in the recesses of my own mind.

"...'s been missing all week. Not sure where they went."

"Who?" I asked, my voice raising an octave.

"The gangs," Vorona snapped. "Haven't you been listening?"

"No, sorry," I retorted. "I was busy working. Try it sometime."

Tom shot me a heated glance. I glared back, and he continued the conversation.

"The gang wars are settling down finally."

"Guess the cops have decided to do their job right for once."

"Maybe."

"There's still word of the Dollars running around, though. Getting bigger every day."

"Eh. Just kids on an Internet column. Can't do much harm."

I was about to provide a counter example, but it would probably make Shizuo destroy Tom's office.

I'd probably have to pay for it.

I kept my mouth shut.

"I'll get going," I said. "Info's on the desk. Call me if you need anything else, but my hours are only _after_ 8 in the morning."

I glared at Tom as I passed, who stared blankly at me in return.

I passed a stack of overflowing papers, probably information of current clients, and my eye caught something. I stared at it for a moment.

A mugshot of a man in his twenties, with ash blonde hair and hazel eyes. He was smiling to show a dimple in his right cheek.

I scurried quicker out of the room when I realized that my face was probably leeched of all color.

The caption under had read, "_Alexander Freeman_."

I wondered if they were doing well without me.

* * *

**This was a shorter chapter... . Working on the next one now...**

**A while ago, my Lit teacher asked me and my friends Lett, Lucio, and Maiya to write him a fanfiction; I think I might give this one to him hahaha. Can't wait to see how he handles all of the foul language. Well, thanks for reading hahaha**

**Leave a review on the way out!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	4. Divine

**Hello again! I seem to be getting a pretty good response on this story, so I guess that means that my readers like it! Glad to hear that! :)**

**Had an epiphany last night while posting the last chapter, and I couldn't quit writing this one.**

**Anyways, enjoy! **

* * *

3: Divine

_ The breeze was cool, calming the searing May heat. The little redheaded girl skipped along the beaten path home. Today was her birthday, she was turning nine._

_ She was very excited about this day; her father had taken the entire day off just so that he could spend time with his precious daughter as soon as school let out._

_ Her mother had gone out to purchase decorations and pick up a cake for the girl's birthday; it was a tradition to celebrate with sweets and shiny things. _

_ The two elder siblings, Kaoru and Karri, had gone to buy a present._

_ But the little redheaded girl wasn't so much excited about the sweets or the present. She was excited to see her father._

_ Her father traveled often and was only home sometimes. It was rare that he was even home for a family dinner. _

_ But she did love him so, and the bond between a daughter and her father is nearly unbreakable._

_ As soon as she reached her block, the little redhead nearly sprinted to the front door of her small home and used her own key to unlock it; then she rushed inside._

_ "Daddy! Daddy!" she called, her giggling a light sound that filled the space. "I'm home!"_

_ It was then that she noticed that the kitchen window had been shattered. Shards of glass lay across the rug that lay in front of the kitchen sink, and the girl backed quietly away._

_ "Daddy?!" she called. "The window is broken!"_

_ Running into the other room, the girl was silenced by the sight of crimson slowly dripping down the walls and onto the floor. The entire living room dripped with fresh, scarlet blood blooming on the tan walls like deadly roses._

_ Among the red, a spot of blue caught her eye. A bandana, hanging around the dirtied leaves of a potted plant. _

_ Slowly, cautiously, the little redheaded girl made her way across the room towards the spot of blue piecing the terrible red, and slipped on a crimson spot on the floor._

_ When she hit the ground, the impact made a soft, wet sound._

_ The girl looked up into the ripped, mutilated face of her father and screamed._

* * *

"Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Good afternoon, Ellie."

"Oh, hey Kasuka!"

Kasuka had my number still? I thought he'd deleted it from his contacts when he became a big star and everything.

Guess I was wrong!

"I'm flying to California for a photo shoot, and I was going to ask if you'd watch my cat."

"No problem," I said. "I love cats."

Which was true. They're quiet and loyal and they can totally kick your ass if you mess with them.

My kind of animal.

"I was going to ask Shizuo, but he's been in a sour mood lately... Also, he's constantly trying to convince me that he'll accidentally kill it or something."

"It's no trouble. I'll take it off of your hands."

"Thanks. Can I stop by around 2:30?"

"Yep," I replied. "See you then."

"See you."

The line went dead, and I settled back into my leather desk chair.

Kasuka was such a nice guy. Weird, since movie stars were stereotypically jerks and divas.

Maybe Shizuo got that gene instead.

It was Sunday today, which was my day off.

Well, technically I'd work if someone called me, but I didn't walk around deliberately filling appointments with people.

I was also on the clock when Izaya decided to cause trouble.

Shizuo was obviously superior to him in strength, but Izaya always won those battles with pointless logic.

Since I match Izaya logic-wise, I normally win by just a little bit.

Also because Izaya has his own anger issues.

The day had been mellow so far, but I'd woken up earlier than usual this morning. The nightmares had made a surprising reoccurrence.

I couldn't get his face out of my mind—the face of a man who ruined my life.

I shook the thought away, trying to focus on the happier corner of my thoughts, which was nonexistent more often than not.

I was satisfied with filling my thoughts with Kasuka and his cat.

* * *

"Thanks for this, Ellie."

"No problem," I replied and beckoned the cat over.

The cat was slim and tabby with darkened amber eyes and gold and brown striped along his back and around his face.

The cat (named Yuigadokusonmaru) slunk over and sat a few inches in front of me, almost like he was observing me. I rubbed my fingertips together in an old trick my father taught me, and the cat came to sniff at my hand.

Once he was close enough, I used both hands to lift him next to me on the couch; at first he looked as though he was about to spring, but I pet down his fur around the ears, and that seemed to do it.

Now Yuigadokusonmaru was acting like my best friend.

"Why are you going all the way to the U.S.?" I asked while the cat slunk into my lap and curled up.

"I'm not sure," Kasuka replied in his standard monotone. "My manager told me that I was going for a photoshoot, but I'm not entirely sure after the conversation we had this afternoon."

"What did he say?"

"He implied that we would be "sidetracking" while we were there."

"Wow, sounds like fun."

"I'll attempt to make the most of it."

God, Kasuka was so nice and polite. He used to speak little or not at all, and he still only spoke when spoken to. He rarely showed emotion as well, which was strange given he was such a gifted and charismatic actor onscreen.

"Just call me when you're back in the country, I'll be here. Your cat is safe with me," I said matter-of-factly.

"Thank you," he replied. "I also appreciate that you're keeping an eye out for Shizuo."

I laughed a little. "It's less of a favor, more of a chore, and even more of a lifestyle. He's very, um... Active."

"He's a good guy if you give him the chance to show it."

"I believe it," I sighed, "It's just that he doesn't give me the room."

"Well, he treats Shinra—"

"That's different, Shinra is kind of creepy and annoying. It just kind of pisses me off that Shizuo's so difficult to be around all the time. I could care less about the strong part, it's the attitude part I have trouble with."

"He's had a rough life. Give him a break."

"I have too," I retorted. "You don't see me complaining."

Kasuka kind of sighed, like an older sibling would do when their younger sibling said or did something stupid and worthy of punishment, but they let it off with a warning.

"I should probably be leaving," he said, changing the subject.

"Have a good time."

"Ok."

Kasuka left out the door and I closed the door behind him. Normally Yori would've let him in and out, but Sunday was also her day off.

Yuigadokusonmaru trotted up beside me and sat at my feet, staring up at me with his large amber eyes.

"Yeah," I huffed. "I know he's right. Don't rub it in."

Yuigadokusonmaru wrapped itself around my legs and purred a little, stretching out its striped body.

I picked him up and walked back over to the couch, petting down the fur along his spine.

Who said talking to animals was crazy?

* * *

"How do I look?" Naomi gave a sarcastic smile while haughtily modeling a pair of sunglasses.

"Charming," I replied monotonously, then laughed.

Kelsi adjusted her own dark tinted glasses. "I don't think I could put forward a valid opinion about it, but I bet you look great."

I think that was fair. Kelsi was blind, after all.

Yuigadokusonmaru meowed loudly from where he was lazily curled in my arms. I rubbed his head gently to calm him down.

I'd already promised Naomi and Kelsi that I'd go shopping with them on Sunshine today, so I'd brought Kasuka's cat with me. I didn't want to leave him alone, especially as I couldn't ask Yori to look after him.

Currently, Naomi was searching for a new pair of sunglasses; she'd sat on and broken her last pair in half, just another act of her undeniable genius.

I watched while petting a now purring Yuigadokusonmaru as Naomi took off the pair before and flipped her dark hair while skimming the rack for another pair she liked.

Naomi was easily my first real friend, befriending me when I was a lonely kid. She'd always been random and fun and ditzy at times, but she stuck by me and I loved her for that. Naomi was one of the only people I could ever trust my life with.

Kelsi was poking at a rack of sundresses to the left of me, touching the different fabrics and keeping one hand on the circular rack to make sure she didn't stray away to somewhere she couldn't become familiar with as easily.

I'd met her a few years ago on the street after we'd literally crashed into each other and I'd helped her carry her art supplies home. She had this strange knack for knowing exactly what was wrong and having an insightful and kind resolution for everything, which made us fast friends. I could trust Kelsi when something was on my mind, which made me feel safe around her.

"Ooh! I like these!"

I was knocked out of my trance when Naomi turned to me with a pair of wide black glasses twisted into the shape of the symbol for infinity. So, like a horizontal eight.

"If you like them, you should buy them," I suggested smoothly.

"Yeah, I'll get these!" she decided, then took them to the front of the store for purchase.

"Kelsi, are you getting anything?"

"Hm," she mused, holding up a collared sundress. "What color is this?"

"Periwinkle," I said after a moment of thinking about how it would equate to her pale skin tone and white blonde hair. "That's a good color on you."

"I think I'll get this, then," she said, groping to the front of the store. Kelsi was probably the only blind human I'd ever known to walk without a red and white stick.

Yuigadokusonmaru stretched himself in my arms and then clawed at the collar of my blouse, pulling himself up into my shoulders where he curled himself around the back of my neck.

I sighed as I patted his furry back and made my way to the counter, where Naomi had donned her new shades and Kelsi was paying for her dress.

"Where are we heading next?" Naomi asked, shifting her weight.

"Wherever," I replied nonchalantly. "We can kill as much time as we want."

"As long as we're over here," Kelsi chimed, "can we stop at Simon's place for lunch?"

"Why not?" I shrugged. "Seems like a good investment of time."

"Better hope he sells cat food."

"Naomi, cats eat fish too."

"Oh."

Kelsi and I laughed lightly; Naomi blushed. I think she'd suddenly remembered that she had two cats.

"This is why we're friends," I laughed. The three of us headed down Sunshine and crossed into the West Exit side of downtown, where the Russian Sushi restaurant was.

Simon, the gargantuan Afro-Russian that helped run the place, was outside handing out fliers and yelling his signature, "Russia Sushi! Russia Sushi! It good, it cheap!"

"Simon!" I called his way.

The huge man craned his neck down to look at us and smiled happily. "Elena and Naomi and Kelsi! Are the three of you here for eating Sushi?"

"Yeah!" Naomi declared. "Got a table open for us?"

"Come inside, come inside! We have room for eating sushi!"

Simon's Japanese was a little rusty, but he spoke well enough for us to understand. And he sold decent sushi, so no one cared about his grammar anyway.

Naomi, Kelsi, and I went inside the shop and spotted Kadota and his gang at the bar.

"Kyohei-kun!" I exclaimed. "I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?"

"Not bad," he answered. "How's business?"

"Booming. Make any good intercepts lately?"

"A few; it seems like the traffickers are getting less and less nowadays. I've still neglected to send you the address of the pharmacy you asked for."

"It's no problem, I don't want you to have to jump through any hoops to get it to me. Just when you have time."

"Ellie-chan, why do you have a cat on your shoulders?" Erika piped from where she sat on one side of Kadota.

I was about to open my mouth and answer when Walker, who sat at Kadota's other side, interrupted. "It must be an enchanted cat, like in Kiki's Delivery Service!"

Walker handed the manga he was holding to Erika and her face contorted in disapproval. "No, no, no! Ellie-chan isn't a witch character! I imagine her as the picky heroine that attracts the silent type!"

"No, no, you've got it all wrong! She's the tsundere heroine that attracts the finicky, flirty type!"

"Well then where does the cat come in?!"

The pair of otakus continued to argue about what character I would be in a manga, while I rolled my eyes and stared at Kadota. "I'm cat-sitting for Kasuka."

"Fair enough," Kadota answered. "You two, quit arguing! There are other people in this restaurant, you know!"

Erika and Walker faded into silence, turning back around to pick at their sushi.

Saburo, who sat beside Walker, grimaced and stabbed at a caterpillar roll with a chopsticks. "Crazies."

"Hold on to _your_ sanity," I commented, and Saburo waved me off. I left the bar to go sit across the room at a table with Kelsi and Naomi, who were currently arguing over what we should feed Yuigadokusonmaru.

"But don't you think he would like tuna?"

"Salmon is so much healthier, don't you think Kasuka-san would like his cat to be in good health?"

"Are you kidding? He probably just feeds it cat kibble!"

"He's a movie star, Naomi, he probably feeds it halibut for all we know!"

"I'm the one taking care of the cat," I pointed out, "so I should be the one to decide."

"Fine..."

"Sounds fair."

I picked up the menu to look through the fish for Kasuka's cat, since I already knew what I was going to order for myself.

"_Ellie_."

The first time Naomi hissed across the table to me, I didn't notice. The second time was a lot more noticeable.

"What?" I asked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Naomi moved only her eyes to the left, not turning her head. It was then that I noticed a man and his wife and two sons paying Simon at the counter so that they could leave the restaurant.

As they passed me, I lifted the menu in front of my face on the off chance they'd notice me.

The sandy-haired man and his family left the restaurant without acknowledging my existence, and I let out a stale breath.

"Ellie," Naomi hissed a third time. "Was that—"

"My father," I confirmed through my teeth.

People just _love_ to ruin everything, don't they?

* * *

**I feel like this chapter was a bit shorter than I'd have liked it to be... But I suppose it'll do for now. **

**Ellie's father! :O *insert dramatic music here* **

**At the beginning of every chapter (if you haven't already noticed) is a flashback that gives background to the story; you'll find out later what it all pieces into :)**

**Happy Mother's Day, by the way! Hope everyone had fun celebrating their moms~**

**Well, thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	5. Before

**Hey again! Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than normal. Hope you enjoy anyways~!**

* * *

4: Before

_ Kaoru adjusted the pink bow in his littlest sister's hair. "Don't worry, Ells. I've met him, he's really nice."_

_ The little redheaded girl stared blankly at the mirror sitting before her, green eyes that used to be so full of life now appearing dull and glazed over. Gory images appeared in the darkest corners of her mind; she'd stopped trying to push them away a long time ago._

_ "...he's not my daddy," she murmured after a while. "He'll never be."_

_ Kaoru sighed, sympathetically rubbing his little sister's shoulders. "I know, Ells. I know."_

_ It had been a two and a half years since their father's death, to which their family had begun to struggle. Kaoru had dropped out of college and was holding three jobs to support his family, and Karri had secretly joined a color gang in order to help contribute to her family's financial troubles; at thirteen, she wasn't old enough for a real job and was desperate to help her mother put food on the table._

_ Eleven months back, the redhead's mother began dating an immigrant from America that had a stable job in the car-rental business. The two had decided to get married after a while, despite the fact that the three siblings couldn't ever forget their real father. _

_ "You'll be kind to Mr. Alex, right Ells?"_

_ "Yes, Nii-san," she replied softly._

_ There was a knock on the door. Kaoru rose to answer it; a tall, well-built man with ash-blonde hair and hazel eyes peeked in, smiling a kind, dimpled smile. "Hello, Kaoru."_

_ Kaoru gave a weak smile back. "Hello, Mr. Alex."_

_ "There's no need for being so formal," he replied kindly. "After all, we will be related in a few hours. Is Elena inside with you?"_

_ "Yes, she's right over there."_

_ Shyly, she averted her eyes and clutched the hem of her dress as the man came over to her._

_ "Elena?" Alex put his hands on the small girl's shoulders, slightly confused as the little redhead tensed up. "You don't have to be afraid of me... I know we'll be great friends!"_

_ Somewhere in her mind, the small redhead appreciated the man's attempts to get her to like him, but he would never be her real father. Something about him just wasn't right._

_ She imagined the wedding ceremony, standing beside her mother with a basket of roses to toss down the aisle._

_ She thought of the priest with his big book, saying, "We gather here today to celebrate the union of Ayoka Jacobson and Alexander Freeman."_

_ She thought of her mother saying, "I do."_

_ And she thought of the priest declaring, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."_

_ She imagined being the one to speak at that moment._

* * *

I stared blankly at the face plastered on the screen of my computer. 34 years, 6'4", blonde hair, hazel eyes. And that _fucking_ dimple.

I leaned forward a little, raking my fingernails weakly along the screen. "I _hate_ you."

My phone began to buzz feverishly on the top of the wooden desk. Yuigadokusonmaru stretched his jaws in a yawn and ambled to the other side of the desk so that he wouldn't be disturbed again.

I sighed and picked up. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be on service?"

"Soooo, Ellie-kun," a voice crooned on the other side, "I hear your family is in town..."

I grimaced. "What's it to you, Orihara?"

"Wouldn't it just be so nice if you had a family reunion?"

I swallowed back the bile in my throat. "What do you want, damn flea?"

"Nothing, Ellie-kun, I'm only calling to inform you of the current situation! I simply thought that you'd want to know."

"Cut the crap. What the hell do you want?"

"Nothing. _Yet_." I heard the smile in his voice.

"What do you mean, 'yet'?"

"Well, I haven't decided. But I do have the information on your little family sitting right here in front of me. Maybe I'll just send your home address to them."

"Fucking flea."

"Now now, Ellie-kun, language~!"

"Figure out what you want soon, because if you take too long, you won't have the chance to put your threat into action."

I snapped my phone shut and sighed loudly as I thought to myself about what to do, then opened my phone again. I scrolled through my pre-entered contacts and clicked the one I needed, waiting for the dial tone.

It rang twice. "Hello?"

"Hey, where are you right now?"

"At home. Eating lunch. Why?" the gruff voice on the other end replied.

"I need a favor," I said.

"Go open your window, then."

I snapped my phone shut and scratched behind Yuigadokusonmaru's ears, rising out of my desk chair to go over to the next room and my bedroom window.

I unlatched the locks and slid the window up, leaning out.

Shizuo crushed the cigarette he'd been smoking and dropped it out into the alley below. "So, what do you want?"

"I will owe you forever if you go and bother Izaya."

"_What?!_"

"Please?"

"_Why?!_"

"I need to get something from his apartment," I answered. "I need you to go and chase him for a while until I find what I need."

"Screw you, I'm not doing that!"

"_Screw me_, is that a threat or a promise?" I retorted slyly.

He rolled his eyes and cleaned his sunglasses on the collar of his white shirt.

"Please, Shizuo? I've done a lot of crap for you!"

"Oh yeah? Name one time!"

"Seven years ago, I did your school project and kept you from failing. Six years ago, I kept Izaya occupied for you so you could get through finals without killing a teacher. Four years ago, I called Tom when you got fired from being a bartender. I've done a whole lot of crap for you!"

"I said one time, not three..."

"Yeah, well, it takes a lot of shit to persuade you to do anything. Please? I'll fucking buy you half of a bakery if that's what it takes!"

"Why is this so important to you, anyways?"

I pressed my lips together. "...never mind..."

"Wait—"

I closed the window before he could finish and shut the curtain, sighing as I returned to my living room/office.

Could I risk revealing something like that to him? Would he take it seriously and explode, or just blow it off?

With Shizuo, I never knew. He was just so unpredictable. Kind of like a wildfire: a wonder when contained, but devastating when you let it run free.

I sighed as Yuigadokusonmaru hopped off of the desk and onto my lap.

Man, I really wish I had a cat... They seemed to understand stuff, you know?

The door swung open suddenly, and I realized that I'd forgotten that Shizuo knew where I hid my spare key.

"All right, are you going to tell me or not?"

"Wow, I actually got you to care," I marveled. "That's a first."

"Oh, shut up. Why do you need to get into the flea's apartment?"

"He... Has something... Kind of important."

"Too important that you can't tell me what it is?"

"Sort of..."

"_Sort of?!_"

I tried to formulate something in my head that would make the damage report a lot less that it was going to be.

"Some, er... Information."

"Information. You want me to fucking destroy everything in a three-mile radius because you need _information_."

"It's, uh, special information. Personal stuff."

"Oh, I see, _personal_," he retorted sarcastically. "What, does he have baby pictures you don't want in the newspaper or something?"

"Oh my God, no! For fuck's sake, you wouldn't understand!" I got up out of my chair and shoved him at the door. "You asshole, you _never_ understand! Just get out already!"

I forced him through the door and slammed it behind him, locking the deadbolt and chain in case he wanted to bother me again.

I knew he wouldnt try to break it down either, since he probably couldn't afford another paycut at his temper's expense.

I slid down to the floor with my back to the door, hugging my knees to my chest. He was probably gone by now.

"It's my family's address," I whispered into my hands. "Izaya wants to tell them where I am so that they can find me."

I clutched at my jeans, trying to hold back a scream of anger. Why did Shizuo insist on being such a constant pain?

"_Oh_."

I thought he'd left.

There was a door between us now. Maybe I could talk easier now that we were in separate rooms.

The doorknob shook as he tried to open the door, and I mumbled, "Don't bother."

"...how much time do you need?"

"...I dunno. Half an hour."

"...I'll give you an hour."

"...thanks."

"...don't mention it."

* * *

I sat on top of Izaya's apartment building in Shinjuku, contemplating how much smaller everything looked from up here.

I don't know what it is with me and heights. Maybe it's because I feel so much bigger after everyone always treated me like I was so small.

I rested my chin on my hand, waiting for whatever apocalyptic event was about to befall the somewhat-quiet street.

When I came to Ikebukuro, Shizuo and I were mutual acquaintances that knew each other because we were friends with the same person. That person (*coughShinracough*) decided to tell Shizuo that I'd run away from home because my family was "mean."

Well, he'd been half-right.

Anyways, Shizuo never really asked more about it, he just knew that I didn't like my family much.

Maybe that's why he agreed to this so suddenly and easily, but then again maybe not.

If that wasn't it, what had it been?

I was shaken out of my trance when a street light flew across the intersection below and embedded itself in the wall of an apartment building.

_ Well, that must be my cue._

The sunlight reflected off of Shizuo's blonde hair as he chased a certain raven-haired devil out an around the block.

Crap, I owed him _so_ much.

I took the back fire escape to the window that led into Izaya's room, which fortunately used the same basic lock system as any other window; I'd been concerned that it would have some complicated bolt on it or something.

I slipped my knife through the break between the upper and lower sections of the window, flicking it so that I could open the lock and slip inside.

I jumped in through the window and looked around the room, surprised that Izaya would have such a normal-looking room. I'd thought he had pictures plastered on the walls of everyone that he followed around, but unfortunately the walls were bare and painted a tasteful beige.

I cracked the door open and peeked out into the wide space he used for an office and living room like I did, making sure there was no one around; he had a secretary too, as far as I knew.

Once I had confirmed that the coast was clear, I exited out into the main room and sat at the computer chair, which was made of leather and spun like mine.

When I brought up his hard drive on screen, I was slightly impressed with the precautions he took to protect it from break-ins. A little advanced, and somewhat like the system I used to protect my own computer.

It took me close to five minutes to break down the security and poke a hole in his firewall, not big enough for a virus detection system to identify.

I combed through the thick data imbued in the small-ish computer, skimming for the pieces of information I was looking for.

Shizuo said he'd try to buy at least an hour, but I wasn't sure how long he could hold Izaya's attention. An hour could mean as much as ten minutes.

Quickly, I was able to find and wipe all trace of them from Izaya's pool of information.

I began to lock their information when the doorknob began to jiggle.

It was then that I force-quit and nearly flew across the living room and back into Izaya's room, shutting the door and hiding out on the fire escape so that I could connect to his Wifi through my phone.

Slowly, I started to lock all the information I wanted gone and took off across the rooftops.

It must've been his secretary entering the building, because Izaya was still on the street, dodging all sorts of crap that was being launched at him.

Maybe he still had it on his phone.

I jumped down off of the fire escape and into the alley below, where I shot out across the crosswalk and tried to get a clear shot at Izaya.

I dodged to the left, where a traffic sign missed me by a hair, and crossed around when Izaya's back was turned to reach narrowly into the pocket of his furry coat and snatch his cell phone.

In the few moments it took him to realize, I hooked my arm around Shizuo's and pulled him in the opposite direction.

"Hey!" he complained. "I was just getting in the swing of things!"

"Calm your balls, you've destroyed enough crap for today!" I huffed. "Now just focus on running!"

"You do that better than I do," he grumbled, trying to keep up with me.

I didn't stop to check if Izaya was behind us; I struggled to stay slow enough that Shizuo could match my speed, but fast enough so that we could catch the next train back to Ikebukuro.

Luckily, Shizuo and I were able to slip through the doors of a train that was just leaving and successfully cut ourselves off from Shinjuku.

"All right," I sighed breathlessly. "Thanks a bunch, Shizuo!"

I never, ever thought I'd see the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro struggling to catch his breath. He sat down in the nearest chair, took off his sunglasses, and glared at me. "I believe you owe me half of a bakery."

"I know, I know," I laughed, my mood lightening. "Thank you, Shizuo! You have no idea how relieved I am right now. What would I do without you?!"

He sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled blonde hair. "Thanks; that _warms_ my heart."

I ignored the sarcasm in his voice. I'd dodged a bullet for now, and hopefully Izaya wouldn't try to mess with my mind or my life anymore.

_Doubtful_.

* * *

**I usually write this when I get a block on my other stories, which has been working out pretty well~ I'm hoping that you're enjoying the story so far.**

**If you haven't picked up on it, Ellie is referring to her ****_step_****father as the man that she despises.**

**Why? Well, you'll find out soon ;)**

**Anyways, thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	6. Desolate

**Hey again everyone~! I'm feeling very ecstatic today due to the fact that state testing is finally over and I now have 18 more days of school :D**

**What better way to celebrate than a new chapter?**

**Well, enjoy!**

* * *

5: Desolate

_ "Elena! Time for dinner!"_

_ The redheaded girl, now twelve years old, ambled down the stairs with her long bangs in her face. _

_ "Where are Kaoru and Karri?" she asked absently. _

_ "Kaoru is still at work... I'm not sure where Karri is."_

_ Just then, the front door of the small house opened and Kaoru entered and set down a briefcase. "Hey, guys. Something smells good!"_

_ "Just in time, dinner's ready."_

_ Kaoru entered the living room and ruffled his youngest sister's hair before taking his place at the table. "Where's Karri?"_

_ "We don't know," Elena said monotonously. Then she tossed her brother a tepid look._

_ Kaoru got up quickly from the table. "I'll be back."_

_ Kaoru quickly left the room, exiting the house again. _

_ Elena's mother set a plate in front of her. "Hm... I hope Karri hasn't gotten into any trouble..."_

_ "Doubtful," Elena mumbled, picking at her food._

_ "Now, Elena, you don't speak that way about your siblings."_

_ "She talks about me sourly, why shouldn't I do the same?"_

_ "Because it's not polite!"_

_ "...fine..."_

_ Elena resumed pondering her noodles rather than eating them, remembering how her real father had taught her the rules of being polite, and how her mother always held that against her now. _

_ "Your father will be home soon," her mother continued._

_ "Stepfather," Elena corrected sourly._

_ "Elena, I don't understand why you don't like him! He's a very nice man!"_

_ "He's just not my father," the redheaded preteen replied simply. "That's all there is to it."_

_ "Honey, I miss your father too, but he'd want us to move on—"_

_ "We don't know what he'd want! He's not here to tell us!"_

_ Elena's mother pressed her lips into a thin line. "Elena—"_

_ "I don't want to talk about it anymore, Mom! I try to constantly forget about it, and you keep bringing it up again!"_

_ "Because you're being a child about it!"_

_ "Mom, I am a child! I have been for a long time! If Father were here, he would tell me to be a child for as long as I could!" she pushed her plate away from her. "I'm not hungry."_

_ Then she stomped to her room._

_ Her mother sighed. "Oh, what am I going to do with you...?"_

_ Then the door opened a third time, and Elena's stepfather stumbled through the door._

_ Drunk._

* * *

"Okay, how do you spell enigmatic?"

"E-N-I-G-M-A-T-I-C."

"Good. How do you spell prestidigitation?"

"P-R-E-S-T-I-D-I-G-I-T-A-T-I-O-N."

"Yeah. How do you spell pulchritude?"

"P-U-L-C-H-R-I-T-U-D-E."

I tossed down the sheet; it fluttered on the tabletop. "Damn, Akane, what grade does this Spelling Bee permit?"

"All of them," she said happily. "Don't worry, I've been practicing!"

"Well you got every word on the list," I scoffed. "Is there any word you can't actually do?"

The little girl thought for a moment. "I don't know."

"Okay, then, go find a word you can't spell. That's your homework assignment for the week."

Akane giggled a little. "Just because Father wants you to babysit me doesn't mean you can give me homework assignments."

"Hey, I don't babysit. I am _watching_ you."

"But isn't Father paying you?"

"Uh, no, nope!" I said quickly. "So, anyway, why do you want to win a Spelling Bee again?"

"Father says that big words make you sound smart."

"Only if you know what they mean," I scoffed.

"But you have to know the definitions of the words they ask you to spell, don't you?"

"Well, it's not required, no."

"What?" Akane slumped down on her couch. "I learned to spell a bunch of words for nothing? I could've just looked them up in the dictionary!"

"Too late now," I laughed. "It's good to be an overachiever."

"But I'm ten."

"Good place to start, then," I replied.

Akane's rosebud mouth pouted. "I'd rather go paint something..."

"Then do it," I exclaimed. "You said yourself: you're ten. You have a lot of life still ahead of you."

"In that case, I wanna go see Shizuo-senpai!"

"Shizuo-_senpai_..." I tasted the phrase, trying to figure out if the honorific could possibly fit Shizuo.

Was it bad that I found no answer?

"Can we? Pleeeeease?"

"Oh, I _wish_ we could," I replied, almost through my teeth, "but your father will be here to bring you home in a little bit."

"Please, Ellie? _Pleeeeeeease_?"

"It wouldn't be the _responsible_ thing to do," I sighed dramatically.

"Come oooooooon!" she complained, groaning and resting her chin on the coffee table.

Yuigadokusonmaru nudged my foot and I picked him up, setting him on the coffee table where he crawled across to examine Akane.

"Hi, kitty," she greeted him curiously, forgetting all about begging to see Shizuo.

She admired him a whole damn lot, which I couldn't understand. Originally, Izaya had tricked the poor kid into thinking that Shizuo was an assassin who wanted to kill her father.

See, Akane's father was Mikiya Awakusu. _Awakusu_. A.K.A., one of the most notorious crime syndicates in Tokyo—maybe even the whole of Honshu—besides the Yakuza. Being in such a tight, private family, Akane was very close to her father and the mention of a threat on his life probably frightened Akane to the extreme.

Tom told me that Akane actually hit Shizuo with a stun gun and attempted to kill him. Then he said that a lot of crap had led up to Shizuo turning around and saving Akane's life, and now she wants to be just like him for some reason.

I mean, I understand that saving someone's life can have an impact on them, but Shizuo can kinda be... Well... An asshole. Why he hasn't chased her off like he does to every other female life-form within a hundred-mile-radius, I will never understand.

Maybe it's just because she's young. I dunno.

Akane was beckoning for Yuigadokusonmaru now, crooning, "Kitty, kitty, kitty. Here, kitty."

"Yuigadokusonmaru," I called in a soft tone, and the tabby hopped off of the table and onto my lap, where I stroked between him ears a couple times and then picked him up, setting him gently down in Akane's lap.

"Nice kitty," she said matter-of-factly, petting gently down the tabby cat's spine.

"Yeah, he's a mellow guy," I said with a small smile.

"Is he your kitty?"

"No, I'm watching him for a friend of mine," I replied smoothly. "I'd die and go to heaven if I could get my own cat."

"Why don't you?"

"Rent. Food. Yori's monthly paycheck," I answered. "It adds up."

"Oh," Akane said quietly.

"Yep."

There was a knock at the door. Yori rushed across the room from my desk to answer the door. She stretched up on her toes to peek through the peephole, and then turned to me. "Mikiya Awakusu is at the door, Miss Jacobson."

I sighed lightly, finished stalling. "There's your father."

Akane let out a sigh of her own, remembering what she'd previously been pining for. "Okaaaay... Tell Shizuo-senpai I said hi, at least!"

"I will," I promised, lifting Yuigadokusonmaru off of Akane's lap so that she could meet her father at the door.

"Thank you again for watching Akane," her father said once Yori had opened the door. I took note of the two huge men on both sides of Awakusu-san, both clad in all black and leering at me through their black sunglasses.

"No problem," I replied calmly. "I'm glad to help keep Akane from getting into any trouble."

"I appreciate it," Awakusu-san replied. "Come along, Akane."

"Bye, Ellie!" Akane waved goodbye as her father ushered her away. "Bye kitty!"

Yuigadokusonmaru meowed noncommittally and gazed up at me with wide amber eyes, then stretched his jaws in a yawn and slunk off towards the couch.

I scoffed as I closed the door. "Lazy cat."

* * *

I exhaled deeply, running my hand through my hair, and sped up in my walk to the tax building. Tom had been endlessly calling my phone for at least an hour, complaining about how work was piling up and his boss was groaning to him about getting shit done...

In addition to that, Kasuka had come in this morning on a red-eye flight and dropped by my place to pick up Yuigadokusonmaru, then ended up falling asleep on my couch.

I told Yori to watch him and get him whatever he needed if he woke up before I returned, and also tell him where I was if needed.

Now I was also off to deal with Shizuo, who was always difficult to please as well as put up with.

Tch. _Men_. What would they do without us women?

I hopped up the stairs to the fifth level of the tax building, where the office was literally a mess.

There were papers strewn everywhere, office supplies scattered across the desk and some writing utensils dropped on the floor. Vorona was scrunched in one corner of the room, nearly snoring; Shizuo was slumped on a chair and totally unaware of the world.

"What the fuck happened in here?" I exclaimed.

"I'm home sick for one day and look what happens," Tom groaned. "We've never had so many overdue loans before!"

"Well, shit Tom. I'll get right on it."

"Thanks. By the way, you look nice today."

My mind split into two different reactions: the first was confused and wondered what I should say in reply, and the second was slightly offended and wondered why I looked "nice" today and not any other day.

For some reason, my mouth moved strangely and I awkwardly choked out, "Thanks... I like your... Face."

"...thank you...?"

Blushing awkwardly, I sat down at the computer and sifted through the mountain of papers, examining the faces of the clients and their data.

"...that's strange," I mumbled.

Tom yawned. "What?"

"According to these documents, most of these people were only clients of the bank we're associated with. Up until recently, they didn't even have to borrow any money. They didn't borrow any period. Something smells like serious shit."

"Is there any show of fraud?"

"No," I replied. "I mean, look at this." I held up a profile of a young woman in example. "Last week, this woman had a phenomenal credit score and plenty of money in her account. Now, it says that she borrowed a lot of money to compensate for funds she lost. Doesn't that seem weird to you? Having so much and then losing it all in just a small amount of time?"

"I guess..."

"Odd," I huffed. "I think I'm going to look into this instead."

I pulled up the company's client list and shuffled through the recent history of borrows. "You guys look tired. How long have you been going at it?"

"Almost all night. Boss hates when work piles up, and all the jobs we've got just loaded up in one night. We keep getting more, too. It's like when we clear one, two more take its place."

"Interesting... I think I'm going to run an IP scan of all the Internet transactions."

"You do that," Tom replied, trailing off in a yawn.

It was weird to have so many people go bankrupt and have overdue loans all in one night... Wasn't it? Someone was pulling some damn funny business!

"There!" I exclaimed mindlessly, freezing my scan. "Foreign IP Address! I knew there was no way!"

"What, someone hacked the system?"

"That's right," I replied, punching the keys on the keyboard. "Who do we have here?"

The firewall hiding the identity of the foreign IP wasn't very thick, and cracked easily under a novice level code. It belonged to a "Ran Izumii."

"Hm," I mumbled. "This guy looks more like a thug than a smart guy who can break into banks over the Internet."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Just seems fishy. Can't judge a book by its cover, though..."

After a little research, I found out that this Izumii guy was the former-leader of the Blue Squares. He had a little brother named Aoba, and an IQ of 100.

I was a little more on the fence about it, and then I was positive this couldn't be the right guy when his information stated that he was affiliated with Izaya Orihara.

"It all goes back to Orihara," I grumbled. "Tom, I'm going to borrow Shizuo for a while. I think I'm going to get to the bottom of this myself, and I might need an angry wall of meat to assist me."

Tom's features flashed with amusement for a second. "Seems like a good way to put it."

"I've cleared up what I can. I think it's safe to say that you can go home and sleep."

"Thanks."

"C'mon, Shizuo," I sighed, shaking his shoulders to pull him back to reality.

"Wha—huh...?"

"Come on, get up. We're going to get to the bottom of things."

"Go away," he grumbled.

"You can sleep afterwards," I huffed. "Get up, we're going."

"Ughh," he complained, heaving himself to his feet.

Just for the fun of it, I traipsed to the corner and smacked the side of my boot into Vorona's waist. "Get up and go home, blondie, you're off the clock."

Then I grabbed Shizuo by the arm and almost dragged him out of the room, trying to keep him from falling asleep again.

"Where are we going again?" he grumbled groggily, blinking wildly to keep his eyes open.

"You're going to be Mr. Bodyguard for about ten minutes, then you can go home and sleep. Deal?"

"Hmph. Fine."

What I didn't get is why Izaya would bother messing with Tom and Shizuo, screwing with the visual records of the collection agency. I mean, Izaya does some weird things, but I think this just broke the scale of strange and unexplainable.

We had just passed by our apartment buildings when my phone began to ring.

"Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson," I said monotonously. "How may I be of service?"

"You've been of _much_ service already," Izaya crooned on the other end.

"You fucker, what do you want?" I hissed. "You've already done enough."

"Oh, Ellie-kun, you're so smart! Figuring out my little trick so quickly... I was worried I wouldn't have enough time to myself in your apartment, but it seems like I've cut it just in time!"

I froze and glanced up at my building, where I saw a familiar dark speck in my eighth story window overlooking downtown.

I mindlessly hung up the phone and turned tail, breaking into a sprint towards my building.

Shizuo, who seemed annoyed with me, had broken into a run to keep up. "Slow the fuck down!"

"No, you fucking speed up!"

_ Did Izaya just._

_ What._

_ Of all the_.

I couldn't even form a clear thought. It took me a while to salvage one complete one, which ended up being _'I'm going to have to burn everything in there.'_

I sprinted up the stairs; Shizuo waved me off and decided to take the elevator.

Rushing, I rummaged through my pockets for my key, bursting in the door as to try and catch Izaya in the act.

Kasuka was still asleep on the couch, curled up with Yuigadokusonmaru lounging across the arm of the couch.

Yori came in from the kitchen, carrying a tray. "Oh, you're back Miss Jacobson. I made tea in case Mr. Heiwajima woke up before you returned..."

"Nevermind that, Yori, was anyone in here besides you and Kasuka?"

"No, not to my knowledge," she mused. "But there was a man and a woman who came to the door asking for an 'Elena Freeman.' I told them they had the wrong address."

I slid into my desk chair, staring blankly ahead. "What... Did they look like?"

"Well, the man was quite tall and had dark blonde hair, most likely of Caucasian ethnicity. The woman was on the shorter side and had long black hair and dark eyes."

At that point, something clicked.

I spotted a sticky note in the corner of my desk. Odd, since I didn't remember owning sticky notes.

_ "Thank you for the information~"_ was scrawled in jumbled but neat handwriting.

Yori went to close the door, and Shizuo ambled in before she could. "What are we doing here?"

"Nothing," I choked out. "You can go home."

"Ugh. You dragged me here for nothing?"

It was at that point that Shizuo plopped down in the armchair across from the couch, tossed his sunglasses on the coffee table, stretched his arms behind his head, and promptly resumed his nap from earlier.

I ran a hand through my hair, which was tangled.

Izaya broke into my apartment without anyone noticing. My parents now know where I live. I have a famous actor and a famous strongman that just so happen to be siblings asleep in my living room.

With my luck, things are probably going to get a _lot_ worse.

* * *

**Oh, that sneaky Izaya... XD **

**Next chapter, things are going to get a lot more interesting, and some new characters will be introduced~ **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks do much for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	7. Intercede

**Hey everyone! Welcome to another installment of ****_Nothing!_**

**Well, without further ado, enjoy~!**

* * *

_The redhead rolled over on her bed, trying to get absorbed in the music. Not ten seconds later, she ripped the plugs out of her ears. "What in the world is going on down there...?"_

_ There had been a quite the racket going on downstairs for a while, which Elena had tried to ignore up until this point. _

_ The redhead jumped off of her bed, opening her door to peek out and see what was going on._

_ The annoying racket suddenly identified itself as screaming._

_ Elena dropped her MP3 and sprinted downstairs, unsure of who the screaming belonged to._

_ In the living room, she peeked around the corner to find her stepfather cussing at her mother, while her mother shouted in return to him._

_ Were they having an argument, or something?_

_ Elena tried to focus in on what the two of them were saying, only picking out bits and pieces of her mother's words._

_ "Alex, you're drunk!"_

_ "Alex, get ahold of yourself!"_

_ "Alexander, listen to me!"_

_ Elena was frozen in place as she watched the scene unfold, trying to process the severity of the situation. However, she didn't quite get it until her dumb stepfather brought the back of his hand across her mother's face._

_ This brought the redhead back to reality._

_ Her mother was stunned into silence, and the American man raised a hand to hit her again; only this time, Elena ran in between and pushed her stepfather backwards into the sofa._

_ "You jerk!" the redhead screamed. "Don't you ever touch my mother again!"_

_ He stumbled, getting up, and his hand shot out to grab the redheaded girl by the collar._

_ "Elena! Alexander, you let her go this instant!"_

_ She struggled a little, but a small part of her was glad her mother wasn't in her place. She had always been a kind and caring woman, not even capable of hurting a fly. There was no way she would physically stand up to Alex like Elena was._

_ "You stay out of this!" The American drawled, his words nearly unintelligible._

_ Elena recoiled; he smelled bitter, definitely like alcohol. She wondered who had gotten him to drink beyond his limits—or even at all—because she remembered him turning his nose up around alcohol, even at her mother's wedding with him. _

_ It was during this that Elena felt her head snap back, brought back to reality when her stepfather hit her in the face. _

_ She gritted her teeth, tears running down her cheeks from the sudden flash of pain._

_ "Alexander!" her mother screamed, grabbing onto his arm and trying to pry it off of her youngest daughter. "Put her down!"_

_ The man swatted her away and Elena gritted her teeth to brace herself for more abuse._

_ She was used to being bullied for being so quiet in school. How was this any different?_

_ So, Elena did the same thing she always did when she was bullied._

_ She shut out her mother's screams and the sound of her stepfather's hand connecting with her face again and again and became an empty shell, just like when her real father died._

_ For a moment, she was satisfied with being nothing._

* * *

It was raining.

Scratch that, it was pouring.

I'd been out trying to avoid my apartment for a bit, just in case my parents decided to drop by unexpectedly.

It was dark, despite the fact that it was only late afternoon. Clouds had covered the entire city and the air was thick with mist and rain.

I'd donned a thick hoodie under my raincoat and carried an umbrella, just so I could keep warm and dry while avoiding trouble.

I was a bit lonely, though. Kasuka had picked up Yuigadokusonmaru last week, Naomi was visiting her brother in Shibuya, and Kelsi didn't like going out on cold, wet days.

Guess it was to be expected. I was always a little lonely now and again. It'd pass sooner or later.

I ended up wandering around South Ikebukuro Park, examining the ruined stump of a street lamp that still hadn't been replaced since Shizuo's last rampage here.

He hadn't spoken to me since last week when he and Kasuka roomed in my apartment for a night without really knowing it, which didn't surprise me much. Shizuo has this cycle with me where he'll hang around me regularly, then tolerate me, then ignore me for a few days. Not always in that order, though.

I adjusted my hood as I continued through the trees in the park, waving my umbrella around a little.

Since I started thinking about my family again, I started wondering what I would say to them if we did come face to face again. Would I be an ass to them? Would I just act like I didn't know who they were?

There were so many different reactions I saw in my mind, almost all of them ending badly.

I sighed as I continued to twirl my umbrella. I took a sidestreet out of the park, breathing in the cold air to clear out my thoughts.

It was then that I noticed a raunchy-looking group of guys embellished with yellow—obviously of a color gang—leering at me.

"Problem?" I hissed across the alleyway.

One of the members, a shorter guy with a tan complexion and a round face, whispered to a taller one with slicked back blonde hair, "See, that's her. That informant with the red hair."

"I've heard she's pretty damn fine, but shit, she's even better looking in person."

I wonder if they knew that I could hear them.

"How can ya tell, she's all covered up!"

I started to walk away, rolling my eyes.

"'Ey, informant!"

"The informant has a name," I retorted, "and if you don't know it, don't waste your time trying to talk to me."

The blondie with his hair slicked back followed me a little. "Cute and gotta sharp tongue. _Sexy_."

I kept walking, even a little nonchalantly; pricks like that weren't worth getting bothered over.

I continued dwelling on my family, almost absentmindedly. I'd pushed them into the deepest parts of my mind, only to have them crawl back without my knowledge.

I'd poked around their information once or twice; my heart had fluttered a little when I'd found out I had twin half-brothers that I'd never known.

They had my mother's brown eyes and my stepdad's deep blonde hair. They looked like native Japanese kids, not out of place at all. I hoped he at least treated them well.

Suddenly, I walked into someone. He was kind of tall with thick muscles and the hood of a leather jacket covering tousled brown hair that had very obviously been dyed a bright red.

"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," I mumbled.

"Damn straight, ginger," he spat. "You've stolen away ten precious seconds of my life."

"Well, sorry."

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it, sweetheart. I'm gonna need a real apology."

I flinched when his big hand grasped my arm and brought it up quickly so it flew across his face. "Lay off."

He recoiled and touched his jaw, and I saw the yellow bandana around his throat.

I started to walk away when he grabbed me again.

"C'mon, honey, don't be like that."

At this point, a couple of guys from the group before made their way over.

I wrenched my arm away and dropped my umbrella, backing away and feeling for my pocketknife.

Alarm began to soak through my vendetta like the rain through my jacket, because I couldn't find it in any of my pockets.

Suddenly I was thrown against the wall of the alley and a flashback of my stepdad tossing me to a wall resurfaced.

I kicked somewhere in front me and jumped forward to escape, the cold air seeping through my clothing and clearing away any shadow of the memory.

I ran the opposite way through the alley, the rain and mist getting thicker and thicker as I continued back towards the park.

There was shuffling behind me; I heard it over the water splashing and the pounding in my ears.

As I turned a corner, my feet slid out from under me and the shuffling came closer. Then, all of a sudden, the shuffling ceased.

In the haze of the rain, I could barely see what was going on around me. All I could register was a rough hand tearing me in the opposite direction and shoving me against a wall, then letting me go.

Above the falling water, I could barely hear the scuffle going on before me; a gunshot was all that was distinct in the distance.

I pushed myself up off of the ground, choking on the steady rainfall, and fell into a defensive position in case something came my way. The fog was so thick and wet, I could hardly see enough to identify anyone coming at me with a weapon.

There was a second gunshot and the struggles of the battle vanished, leaving the monotonous crashing of the rain to fill the silence.

The water sloshed on the ground; I straightened to prepare for an attack, when that same rough hand from moments before snaked out and grasped me by the shoulder. Suddenly, my eyes were staring into brown ones.

"H-Heiwajima-san!" I exclaimed. The words escaped my mouth quickly, and I was unaware I'd used the teasing honorific to address him rather than his real name.

My gaze dropped below his face to examine the ravaged state of his uniform: his collar had been torn open, bow tie flung off carelessly to places unknown, and one shoulder was soaked in crimson that dripped down his vest which had lost two of its buttons.

He clutched his sunglasses in one hand, the lenses digging into my collarbone as his hands locked like iron girders around my shoulders.

"Are you all right?" his voice was somewhat gentle, but I could hear that familiar gruffness staining his tone.

In all my confusion, my fingers had grabbed onto the bloody shoulder of his vest and white collared shirt, scrutinizing the protrusion the size of a small marble. Almost shocked, I replied, "You've been shot."

"Goddammit, forget about me!" Shizuo exclaimed, giving my shoulders a rough jolt. "Answer the fucking question! Are you all right?!"

"I'm fine!" I declared, recovering myself quickly. "You stupid prick, you're the one who needs a hospital!"

"I'll survive," he grumbled, and let me go. Only, he tossed me away when he did so and my body slammed against the alley wall painfully, sending the air whooshing out of my lungs and causing my legs to buckle.

I half expected him to light a cigarette and stalk away, but he stayed and stared at me with wide eyes. "...sorry."

My hand reached for a hold along the wall that would help in getting my poor limp body off of the ground, but Shizuo reached out and set me on my feet as if I were a small child.

"But really," I continued breathlessly, still recovering control of my lungs, "you need to get that checked out."

"I'll go find Shinra," he grumbled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his dress pants, which were luckily still intact.

"I'm going with you," I stated. It's a good thing Shizuo knew when not to argue with me, because I really wasn't in the mood for it.

I took his injured arm gingerly by the hand and walked with him out of the alley, using my free hand to brush my hair away from my face.

"Your hands are freezing," I noted out loud.

"Yeah. So?"

"Wear some gloves. Get a space heater."

"I'll look into it."

I noticed how especially easy to deal with he was being; I wonder what element of the entire episode had caused him to change so suddenly like this.

First, he's ignoring me for a week, then he's tossing me around like a rag doll; the next, he's treating me like I'm made of glass and fragile enough to break.

As we made our way up to Southern Ikebukuro, the rain began to fade away. I noticed Shizuo's free hand automatically reach for his pocket, where he kept his little box of cigarettes.

I snatched it from his palm and stuffed it in the pocket of my hoodie. "No smoking. It's bad for your health."

I half expected him to take it back forcefully. Instead, I watched his mouth contort as he bit the inside of his cheek but kept a straight face. "...okay."

He glanced down at me as I felt my shoulders tense up, as if he sensed it too.

"What?" he asked absently.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"What was that?"

Roses of heat blossomed in my cheeks. "Thank you, Shizuo."

"...you're welcome."

We walked in silence towards downtown, where I kept taking small peeks at him out of the corner of my eye. How could he walk so easily after being shot?

There were just some things about Shizuo that I would never, ever understand.

Shinra's apartment was on the line between downtown and the outer, quieter side of the district. I guess it'd have to be that way, since Celty was always running in and out of there.

"I haven't been here in four years," I thought out loud.

"Huh."

"What do you mean, '_huh_?'"

"It's just that Celty always asks for me to check up on you, I would have thought you visited every day."

"Oh," I said.

It's just like Celty to get all motherly on me...

The silence between us continued as we took the elevator up to Celty and Shinra's apartment; some part of me was looking forward to this reunion, while another feared being chastised for not coming around more often.

I knocked tentatively on the door and then pressed the buzzer, waiting for someone to come and answer.

Shinra poked his head around the door about a third of a second later, almost like he'd been waiting there. His gray eyes grew wide when he saw me. "Ellie!"

"Hey, Shinra, can I get a favor?" I pointed at Shizuo, whose bloody shoulder still bothered me intensely.

"Oh, uh, come in, I'll be right back," Shinra replied, phasing into doctor-mode.

Underground doctor, that is.

I ushered Shizuo inside after me and he sat down on the sofa like he knew the drill, while I bit my lip and buried my hands in my pockets; I was still slightly worried.

Then a woman, dressed in all black and spouting black smoke from the throat up (where her head should be), sauntered into the room and passed me nonchalantly, then stopped.

A plume of black smoke twisted around me, almost like I was being examined. Then Celty had crushed me in a hug.

"Whoa, Celty," I choked out. "you're...bruising...me...!"

The Dullahan set me down and whipped out a PDA from her sleeve and typed something rapidly.

_Ellie, you're back!_

"Hey, Celty," I breathed, trying to regain the oxygen that had been forced from my lungs. "How are you?"

_ Who cares how I'm doing, I hope you're not getting into any trouble!_

"I don't think I can make that promise."

_ :(_

I laughed. Celty's black plume of smoke searched over the couch, where she turned to spot Shizuo.

_ What happened there?_

"I was out walking," I explained, "and I ran into a pack of Yellow Scarves. I guess Shizuo was walking that way too, because he kind of rescued my sorry ass."

Celty looked back at Shizuo, who was staring into space. "Hmph."

"He got shot at," I continued.

Celty shrugged her shoulders, crossing to "speak" with Shizuo.

I couldn't see what she'd typed, but Shizuo replied, "Eh, just a scratch. Nothing to get bothered over."

She typed something else and his shoulders heaved in a sigh. "Fine, a bullet wound. It's not like I'll die or anything, though."

Oh, Shizuo. Always so _difficult_.

Shinra rushed back into the room with a medical bag and sat down next to Shizuo, who sighed and tossed an exasperated glare towards the window.

I tensed up and had to look away while Shinra dug the bullet out of Shizuo's shoulder.

I'm squeamish about blood. I don't understand how Shizuo can not even flinch.

I exited to the other room, not wanting to be in the same place as what was going on.

I stared out across the windows, where the rain was receding. I cracked one open and breathed in deeply, forcing away memories and the smell of blood.

I hated the way I felt today. Alone with my memories, and now my spine was aching from that damn brick wall. In addition to that, I was nauseous from the smell of blood.

I jumped when Celty tapped me on the shoulder.

"Jeez!" I exclaimed. "Celty, don't freak me out like that!"

She typed something quickly.

_ Are you feeling okay?_

"I'm fine," I grumbled. "It's just... Memories, you know?"

_ Do you want to talk about it?_

I sighed as I sat down on the windowsill. Celty was also one of the only people I could open up to.

"My parents just moved to town," I began, and Celty was typing quickly even before I'd finished.

_ Then you're not okay! Do you want to stay here for a few days? _

"I've been trying to lay low... Izaya sent them my home address..."

_ What an idiot!_

"Yeah," I huffed, running a hand through my damp hair. "So I've been trying to stay out of the house for a while. That's why I was out today..."

_ My offer still stands to let you stay here. I can convince Shinra easily._

"No, I've already burdened you enough over the years. Thank you, though. That's very kind."

_ You're not a burden. I think you're a great person and an even better influence, especially on Shizuo._

I scoffed. "Oh, yeah. If he actually listened to me once in a while."

_ Open your eyes, Ellie. Mr. Stubborn just took a bullet for you. _

"He gets shot at all the time," I retorted. "Why is this time any different?"

_Oh, never mind. You're just stubborn as well._

"Well, I'll admit to that."

Celty glanced out the window._ Hey, the rain is stopping_.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I should go."

_ Come around again soon!_

I smiled ruefully. "I'll try my best."

Celty laid a hand on my shoulder. _We're here for you, just in case. Okay?_

I gave a small nod. "Okay. Thanks, Celty. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I sighed as I exited into the living room, where Shinra was wrapping up Shizuo's collarbone and shoulder with some thick bandages, the kind that roll out.

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to head out," I replied tersely. "I assumed you would be doing the same as soon as you were done here.

"I'm not an idiot," Shizuo grumbled. "I'm taking you home, and there's nothing you can say or do to change my mind."

"Alright, alright, fine," I replied exasperatedly. "But I'm going to wait outside. I can't stand the smell in here."

I breathed in through my mouth as I exited the apartment, crossing my ankles and leaning against the wall outside the door while I waited for Shizuo to finish getting patched up.

Why did he want to walk me home anyways? It's not like I was going to get into another life-threatening situation or something.

I sighed. With my luck, probably.

But _why_?

I pulled my hood up over my head, hiding my eyes. Why was everything so difficult?

Why does life insist on making itself hard to figure out, and then when I finally adjust it decides to make everything even more hard to handle?

I don't know,_ I don't know_.

I had to count to ten in my head.

_ One, Izaya. Two, my family. Three, my friends. Four, Izaya. Five, my family. Six, my friends. Seven, Izaya. Eight, my family. Nine, my friends. Ten, Shizuo._

So many different things running in and out and confusing me and making me cry and throw up and laugh and wonder why.

I let out a long groan and pulled my hood back to uncover my face; I just needed to breathe, that was all.

_Breathe and everything will be okay. Breathe and everything will be okay._

_ Just remember to breathe._

"Elena?"

I looked up. Right across the hallway, peeking out of a door with hazel eyes was a familiar looking face framed with dark blonde hair.

_I think I've forgotten how to breathe._

* * *

** DUN DUN DUUUUUN.**

**I know it's a cliffhanger, please don't hit me I bruise easily and cry like a girl.**

**I just finished the last of my choir shows for the year, so I should have more time to write future chapters.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	8. Revelations

**Hey again! I tried not to wait too long for another other post. I really do hate leaving my readers on a negative note. **

**Well, enjoy, I guess XD**

* * *

_ The redhead winced as she touched the bruises underneath her eye, along her cheek, and all the way down to her shoulders. _

_ "Ow," she mumbled as she touched them._

_ Someone knocked on her door. "Elena?"_

_ The redhead's mother peeked into the room. She walked with a limp. _

_ "Hi Mom," she replied hoarsely. _

_ Elena's mother pressed an ice pack to her daughter's cheek. "Are you all right, dear?"_

_ "I'll survive," she whispered._

_ "Your father still isn't back yet," Elena's mother mumbled. _

_ "He's not my father," Elena hissed under her breath._

_ "Elena-"_

_ "He's not my father," she replied again, pointing to the trail of bruises down her face and throat._

_ Her mother sighed. "Nevertheless, he hasn't returned from his rampage yet and your siblings still haven't come back either."_

_ "They won't be coming back," Elena whispered, swallowing a lump in her throat._

_ "What? Why?"_

_ "Mom... Karri joined the Blue Squares. They said they'd pay her if she did dirty work for them, and that's where she's been all this time. Kaoru called me late last night and said that neither of them would be coming back."_

_ "What... What do you mean?"_

_ "Mom, it means my family is dead!" Elena crouched down where she sat and cried while her mother stared. "It means I have nobody else! And don't you dare say that you're here, because you're the one who married that monster and you won't get rid of him even now!"_

_ "Elena, you need to listen—"_

_ "No, mom, YOU need to listen! The only person ever there for me after dad died was Kaoru, and now he's dead too! Now I'm stuck here with a lunatic for a father and a scared Barbie doll for a mother!"_

_ "Now, wait just a minute!"_

_ "No, I'm not going to wait! All I ever do is sit in a corner quietly and take abuse from my classmates, and now from my own family! Don't tell me I'm wrong, because you have no idea what I have to go through because I'm the shy girl!"_

_ At that point, Elena's mother just stood and left the room. She couldn't believe nor like what her daughter was telling her._

_ Why would anyone hurt such a kind and caring person?_

_ But then she realized the hypocrisy in that singular thought._

_ Elena got up, stumbled to the door, and slammed it behind her mother; then she crossed the room again and resumed sobbing._

_ Why was everything just ending up so awfully? Was God trying to make her life miserable?_

_ No one was there for her anymore. Shivering and hyperventilating, she picked up her phone from the bedside table and listened to the voicemail one more time._

_ "Hey, Ells. Sorry I have to call you so late, but I wanted you to hear this. I'm afraid... Your sis and I won't be coming back tonight. Karri's screwed up real bad, and I've been roped in with her. I wish I would've known that tonight would've been our last time together, because I would've hugged you before I left. I want you to stay strong though, okay? You need to take care of Mom and be there for her. Just try to get along with Alex, okay? I love you lots, and I know you'll grow up into a strong, capable young lady. Always know that I'm very proud of you and I'm always by your side through whatever you do. Maybe we'll see each other again someday, but for now, we have to say goodbye..."_

_ The message cut off there, and Elena tossed her phone away._

_ Why did they have to leave?! Why?!_

_ Mindlessly, the redhead faced the window and continued crying silently to herself._

* * *

"Elena?"

I sat, frozen, outside of Celty and Shinra's apartment. I rapidly shook myself out of my trance and rose up to my feet. "That's not my name."

I could barely choke it out; I don't think he heard me.

"Ayoka!" he called into the apartment behind him. "Ayoka, you'll never believe who's here!"

Then my mother, no longer young and fresh but still beautiful, came and looked out the door after him.

Her dark honey eyes grew wide. "Elena?!"

I lost my train of thought completely. What was I supposed to do? Do I run? Do I talk myself out of it?

Like clockwork, the door behind me opened, and it was Shizuo here to save my ass once again.

"Hey, what's..." he glanced at me, then at my mother across the hallway. "...going on...?"

"Nothing," I replied as nonchalantly as I possibly could. "I'm tired, can we go home now?"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, and I followed him down the hallway.

"Elena!" my mother called after me.

"Keep walking," I hissed to Shizuo.

"Why?" he huffed. "What do they want?"

"That's my fucking _family_," I breathed.

At first, he didn't answer. I thought, either he hadn't heard me or he just didn't care.

But as soon as we turned the corner, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, trying to catch my breath.

"You told me to keep walking, didn't you?"

Huh. Maybe Shizuo was a nicer guy than I'd initially thought.

I'd never once mentioned what I had against my family to him, just that I didn't like them at all, and he was actually helping me get away from them again now.

Once we were out of the building, I could feel him tense up as he tried to think where he should run next.

It was a few seconds before he finally mapped out where he should go; he pulled me to the left, down an alley.

"Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here."

My mind shut off like it always did when I was running; all I was focused on was following and keeping up and gathering clues as to where we were going.

I didn't understand where we were heading until I saw the looming structure of Raira Academy becoming visible in the disappearing fog.

"Come on," he grumbled, and led me through the back entrance.

Kids were trickling away; the school day had just ended, and things weren't going to be locked up for maybe an hour or two more.

I knew where we were going now, and the less-bitter memories were beginning to resurface.

Once we'd reached the roof, I sat down on the concrete to watch the city below while Shizuo lit a cigarette.

What a déjà vú. Just like old times.

Shizuo sat next to me and breathed out thick smoke. "So, you're away from them now. Are you finally going to tell me why?"

"Well, you've never asked," I retorted.

"I assumed you'd tell me when you were ready to, but I don't think that time's going to come and I'm getting a little impatient."

"What makes you think I'd just up and reveal something like that to you so easily?"

"You _owe_ me. Tell me, and let's call it even."

"Why do you care, anyways?" I groaned.

"I just do, all right?" he huffed. "Just because we don't always get along doesn't mean I want you to be unhappy all the time."

"Wow. That's, uh, one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

"Yeah, don't mention it."

"Don't worry," I grumbled. I waited for a few seconds to see if he would notice my silence, and he suddenly put out his cigarette and stared at me expectantly.

Awkwardly, I retained my silence. Then Shizuo did something I did not expect at all.

He adjusted himself where he was sitting so that he was comfortable and then took off his sunglasses and continued to stare at me.

"Wow, you're _really_ serious, aren't you?" I marveled.

"I'm as fucking serious as I can get."

I sighed. There was probably no getting around it; when Shizuo set his mind to something, there was no getting him off of it.

"I was born in Shibuya," I began unenthusiastically, glancing off at the skyline. "My dad was Scotch-Irish and had been placed in Japan by his company because they were beginning to go international. My mom was born in Osaka and met my dad when she was pretty young, maybe like 17, and they got married a couple years later.

"I was the third child, the youngest with a brother who was eleven years older than me and a sister who was six years older. My dad traveled a lot, so I didn't see him often, but when I did I was really happy. Everything he touched, he was good at, and I always wanted to be like him. When my dad wasn't around, my older brother kind of took his place. He took care of me and, well, I was really attached to him.

"Growing up, I was kind of a happy kid. I hadn't seen any wrong in the world yet, so I thought that anything was possible. I didn't care about much to a negative extent. When I turned 9, though, my dad was going to take a few days vacation so that we could spend a little more time together. He was supposed to be leaving back to Scotland for a while on call of his company.

"I got really excited over the days leading up to it, since I really, really loved my father. I couldn't sleep most nights because I was so happy and I wouldn't even care about being tired. Then I came home after school on my birthday because my dad had said he'd be waiting for me there. Turns out, out house had been broken into and he'd been murdered. My mom and siblings had been out shopping for birthday candles and those _stupid_ paper hats."

My voice continued to grow bitter as I delved deeper into my life story, but I didn't care.

"I got quieter, I wasn't as happy. I'd finally seen the ugly side of humanity, and it made quite the impact on my life. On top of that, my family started to struggle. My brother dropped out of college and had to hold up three jobs to help keep us all in our house. My sister secretly joined a color gang to take in money because she wasn't old enough to apply for a job.

"Just as I'd begun to recover personally, my mom met this other guy who was visiting from America. I guess they fell in love or something, because they got married like a year or two later. I didn't like him much. He wasn't my father, and there was something just wrong about him to me.

"One night, my sister didn't come home, so my brother went out looking for her. He called me later that night and said that neither of them would be coming back. Then my stepdad came home drunk and started screaming at my mom. The first time he hit her, I jumped in between them and started screaming at him too. Then he started hitting me, and when he was satisfied he stormed off and didn't come back until the next afternoon when Mom and I were patching ourselves up.

"He'd sobered up and then said that his boss had invited him out and he'd drunk out of politeness, but I didn't believe him. Any trust I'd gained for him in the slightest just withered away. I started getting physically bullied at school because of how shy I was. Then my stepdad got promoted and his boss started inviting him out more often. My mom was so fed up with it, she'd drive off and leave me alone to find a hiding place. But he started figuring out where I'd hide myself and he'd scream at me for hiding from him, then ask where Mom was...

"When I told him she'd left somewhere, he'd ask me where exactly she'd gone and then hit me when I said I didn't know where. The fourth or fifth time, I can't remember when, my mom drove off and I left too. I packed up what I could and jumped out of my window.

"I got tired and weak pretty fast, though. I remember falling over along the highway towards Shinjuku. I thought that I was going to die. Instead, I woke up and was introduced to Shinra and Celty and Shinra's creepy dad Shingen. Turns out Celty had found me and brought me to Ikebukuro with her. I told them my story and then Shinra begged his dad to let me stay with them.

"I lived there through high school, and, well, you know the rest."

I exhaled deeply and didn't look at him, fearing slightly what he would say and or do.

I'd just disclosed my darkest secret with a man who could tear down the whole city if I pissed him off bad enough.

But for once, the Strongest (and loudest) Man in Ikebukuro was silent.

"So there!" I exclaimed, tossing my arms limply around in the air. "I'm not the tough, perfect image I try to be. But I don't care what people think about me, see? If anyone has a damn problem with my life, sucks for them!"

"How do you do that?" he asked finally.

"Huh? Do what?"

"Your life's been way worse than mine, than anyone's probably. How can you still have that attitude?"

"It's just life, I guess," I replied easily. "It'll tear at you and try to break you all the time. I _try_ to look at the bright side. Now, I've got a great group of friends who actually care for me, I have an awesome place to live, and a job that pays well."

"Then let me ask you this: why are you still running from your family? Your past?"

I think I was stunned into silence. "I... I don't know."

"If you're satisfied with your life and everything in it, why are you running away from it?"

"I don't know."

"Is that all you have to say? 'I don't know?'"

"Do you expect me to have anything else to say?! That's all there is to it, I don't _fucking_ know!"

Shizuo gave a scoff. "You're a weird girl, Ellie."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"I think that's the first time you've called me by my name in a long time."

"Really? I didn't notice."

"The last time you called me anything besides '_ginger_,' '_hothead_,' or '_red_' was probably when we first met," I replied, smiling a little when I remembered the infamous nicknames I'd been christened with in high school.

"How about a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

"I'll start calling you by your name if you stop using that goddamned honorific."

"What, does that _bother_ you, _Heiwajima-san_?"

"Don't push it, _red_."

I laughed. "Fine, fine. Deal. Does this mean you're going to hate me less now?"

He blinked at me, brown eyes bewildered. "Who ever said I hated you?"

"Oh, well, I just assumed—"

"I _hate_ violence. I _hate_ beer. I _hate_ Izaya. I don't think a scrawny redhead makes that list."

"Gee, _thanks_."

"Shit, did that come out wrong?"

"No, no, you've made your point."

"Crap."

"Oh, don't worry, you say stupid stuff all the time," I retorted. "It's nothing new."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Touchy, _touuuuuuuchy_~!" I teased.

"Are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

"Who cares if I am?" I replied carelessly. "It's not like I'll die or anything."

"You're shitting me."

"I thought we went over this. If you don't want to hurt people, you won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, but neither do you. Have you ever even tried to control yourself?"

"All the damn time."

"Obviously not hard enough. Like I said, if you don't want to hurt anyone, you won't. Simple as that."

Shizuo grunted noncommittally and didn't look at me.

"You're a _weird_ man, Shizuo," I quoted him teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

He frowned, but some part of me was curiously enjoying this new relationship between us.

Shizuo didn't hate me? I considered that a win.

Maybe having the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro as a friend would have its perks?

After all, now he knew my secret and was at least considerate enough not to judge me for it.

_Maybe Shizuo wasn't as bad as I thought._

* * *

**Kind of a short chapter, but I wanted it to be a bit sentimental.**

**So, Ellie and Shizuo are going to get a bit more friendly towards each other! Not enough that they'll actually be "good friends," but at least more friendly than they were before.**

**Maybe people are wondering where the ShizuoXOC will be coming in, but then again probably not XD in case you are, don't worry because it will appear. Maybe not very soon, but pretty soon~**

**Now that you guys know Ellie's story more or less, the flashbacks will be continuing, but from a different point in time ;D**

**Anyways, thanks a bunch for reading! It warms my heart when people leave nice reviews and inquiries for further chapters.**

**I'll stop talking now, since this ending note is getting a bit lengthy :P**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	9. Indolent

**Hello again! So, I've been getting some very nice reviews lately and it made mr happy enough that I finished this chapter earlier than I planned. Cramming for finals, so I've been veeeeeery busy lately. **

**Well, here's the next one! Enjoy~!**

* * *

_ "Iwasa."_

_ "Here."_

_ "Iwasaki."_

_ "Here."_

_ "Izumi."_

_ "Here."_

_ "Jacobson."_

_ "Here," the redhead grumbled just loud enough for the teacher to hear. _

_ A couple girls in desks near her scoffed, flipping their dyed hair and crossing their long tanned legs. _

_ Elena rolled her eyes, making sure the bitches near her could see. She despised anyone who thought they were the shit._

_ She glanced out the window, towards the city while the teacher droned on, continuing to call roll._

_ Why was she forced to go to school, anyways? They just taught her stuff she already knew. It just felt like a place of social torture, if you asked her._

_ She was jolted out of her trance when her teacher called out again. "Break into your assigned groups, everyone. Your assignments are due in three days, you have today and tomorrow for any finalizations."_

_ Elena sighed as she rose from her desk and crossed the room to meet with the group of four people she'd been forced to collaborate with._

_ She didn't know any of their names, and she didn't want to bother learning them either. All she knew was that it was her, two boys, and a girl._

_ "So, do we even have to do anything?" the girl, a small thing with dull brown hair and generic brown eyes, asked._

_ "I think we're all done already," the first boy with black hair and dark brown eyes approved. "What do you think, Elena?"_

_ "I think we're fine," she sighed. "We made the final touches on the video last week, there's no need to go back on anything."_

_ Elena noticed the brown-eyed girl glancing to the corner of the room, where the fourth member of their group hadn't moved. _

_ "What's the point?" The redhead grumbled. "He didn't help at all when we were making it, what's the point in wondering if he would come help now?"_

_ "Oh, er..." _

_ "Yeah, I get it. You think he's cute."_

_ "N-No, o-of course not!"_

_ "I don't see why," the dark-haired boy huffed. "He's so destructive... Like a killing machine..."_

_ "Oh, yeah," Elena retorted, "he's a bucket of TNT. I don't get why you pussies are so scared of him."_

_ The pair didn't answer; Elena just rolled her eyes again and tossed her red bangs away from her face._

_ For the remainder of the class period, she sat and didn't speak to anyone. They weren't worth her time. _

_ However, she did listen in on the conversations of others. It was amazing how self-centered they all were._

_ The first bell rang and Elena was one of the first people to leave class, in a hurry to get up to the roof and away from any of the stupid students at the school._

_ She liked to be on the top of the building, where she could see everything. After years and years of feeling so small, she felt... So powerful. In control. _

_ No one ever came up to that rooftop, they didn't bother. Anyone as socially invisible as her couldn't hope to have any friends. _

_ Not long after she had lost herself in the clouds drifting through the pale blue sky, she felt the ground quake and saw dust rising up below in the P.E. yard. _

_ "What in the...?" Elena spoke out loud, confused as to what was going on._

_ It took her all of two minutes to travel down to the courtyard, and when she did she could only stare at the scene before her._

_ The courtyard was a mess, a complete war-zone. At the epicenter of it all were two hotheaded third-years, one she recognized as being the quiet bucket of TNT who never bothered to help on her group project. _

_ "Is that the best you can do, Shizu-chan~?" the other third-year, a skinny dark-haired boy taunted. "I think my kid sisters could do better!"_

_ "Why, you...!"_

_ "You're hopelessly stupid," the redhead called across the ravaged court. Both boys turned to look at her. "You have awful manners."_

_ The raven-haired third-year cocked his head to the side, curious. "And you are?"_

_ "I don't have any reason to tell you who I am. But you, you're Izaya Orihara, aren't you?"_

_ "It depends on who's asking~"_

_ "I've heard lots about you, and that's not a good thing. In short, you aren't confident enough in your own ability to really have a fair fight with anyone. You get any other meathead to do your dirty work because you don't want to get any mud on your skirt. Isn't that right, Orihara-senpai?"_

_ Both third-years blinked in disbelief. How dare an insignificant first-year show such blatant disrespect to her elder? _

_ Then again, Orihara-senpai's opponent wasn't complaining at all._

_ "You talk so big," the raven-haired third-year commented. "Almost like you don't sit in a corner and mope to yourself all the time."_

_ "I choose to be alone," the redhead stated. "And what I choose is none of your business. If you're so willing to make big talk yourself, why don't you pick a fight with someone your own size?"_

_ "Oh? Like who?"_

_ "Like me. Tell you what, Orihara-senpai, I'll even kick your ass with both hands behind my back."_

_ "Is that a challenge?"_

_ "It's not a flirty come-on, if that's what you're inferring."_

_ "Maybe I don't hit girls."_

_ "That's cute, considering that you're acting a hell of a lot like one yourself."_

_ The noir-haired third-year's face wrinkled in displeasure, and a second passed before he'd lunged at Elena with a shiny piece of metal brandished in one outstretched hand, undoubtedly a knife. _

_ Casually, Elena took a step to the side and just barely dodged the blow, spinning around so that she was at his back._

_ The third-year wheeled in his steps, trying to draw the small redheaded first-year out in front of him._

_ Lithe, quick, and already having practiced street fighting, the redhead spun around and knocked the dark-haired boy to the ground. _

_ He jumped up, face flushed in embarrassment, and swung his knife at her, only to have the redhead slip away again and pull his legs out from under him._

_ "Ooh, you almost got me that time, Orihara-senpai," the cocky first-year teased. "I might have to up my game a bit."_

_ A small crowd began to gather in the courtyard as students began to watch the fight between the upperclassman and the lowerclassman. _

_ The quiet yet destructive third-year Elena had recognized earlier had long since slipped away._

_ It wasn't too long before Elena had snatched away the third-year's small knife. "Learn not to pick fights as often, Orihara-senpai. You'll save your reputation that way."_

_ She began to walk away then, the crowd of bystanders parting like the Red Sea to let her pass._

_ "I think I'll keep this," Elena mumbled to herself, sliding the knife closed and slipping it into her bag. "It might come in handy."_

_ She walked back up to her place on the rooftop, the dust gone and the peace and quiet very welcoming._

_ "Hey."_

_ Elena glanced up from where she'd been watching the skyline again._

_ The boy she saw was that same familiar third-year who sat by himself and destroyed everything and got pissed off really easily. She got a better look at him now; kinda tall with blonde messy hair and brown eyes that shimmered ochre in the low light of the day. _

_ "Hey?" she asked. No one had ever come up to keep her company before._

_ "Uh... Thanks."_

_ "Don't mention it," she mumbled. "I don't like people who think they're the shit."_

_ "Me neither. They piss me off."_

_ It was awkwardly quiet for a long moment, until Mr. Destructive spoke again._

_ "Why are you always alone up here?"_

_ "Huh?"_

_ "I always see you make a beeline for this place, and I thought maybe you had a friend here you were always around. Turns out, you're all alone. Why?"_

_ "I prefer to be myself and all alone than someone else and surrounded by people," was her answer. _

_ "I see."_

_ "Why are you so interested in me?"_

_ "I dunno. Never seen a girl like you stand up to that flea."_

_ "A girl like me?"_

_ "Oh, uh, quiet I guess."_

_ Elena smiled ruefully. "If you think I'm quiet, you don't know me at all."_

_ "Hm. Mind if I sit down?"_

_ "Sure. Free will, I guess."_

_ The third-year set his bag down and sat next to Elena, watching her eyes scan the line of he city. "Is that all you do up here, just stare at the city?"_

_ "Yeah. It calms me, I guess."_

_ "Fair enough."_

_ "Do you always ask this many questions?"_

_ "Sometimes. I have a natural curiosity."_

_ "Birds of a feather, I suppose," the redhead answered. "What's your name, Mr. Destructive?"_

_ "It's Shizuo."_

_ "I'm Elena."_

_ He made a face. "That sounds so... _Proper_."_

_ "Yeah, I guess. What of it?"_

_ "It doesn't sound like it fits you."_

_ "Well, it's my name. If you don't like it, tough break."_

_ Shizuo let out a long sigh, then glanced at his watch. "We should get to class."_

_ "Huh. I didn't know time had passed that quickly."_

_ "Guess so."_

_ Elena picked up her bag. "See you around, Shizuo."_

_ "See you around... Ellie."_

_ Elena froze slightly in her step and looked back at the blonde first-year who seemed to be thinking. "Yeah. Ellie. That fits a lot better. See you, Ellie."_

_ She was about to burst out in protest, like how dare someone she didn't know give her a nickname, but she stopped herself._

_ Ellie. That did fit a lot better... _

_ Maybe that's why her father had given that nickname to her in the first place._

_ So she decided to keep it, bring it back into her life. Maybe a little of the past was a good thing after all._

* * *

"You aren't serious."

"I'm fucking serious."

"You're... You're really going to?"

"You sound so surprised!"

"W-Well, yeah, but—"

"Look, it's fine."

"But Ellie," Kelsi complained, "you're barely armed!"

"Oh, psh, I'm armed!"

"Oh yeah? With what?"

I shuffled through my pockets awkwardly. "Wit, overconfidence, and a small knife."

"You're crazy."

"Oh, come on, what's a little fun once in a while?"

"Fun?!"

I pointed out the window. "It's for a good cause!"

"Just let her," Naomi called from across Kelsi's apartment. "If she wants to die, that's cool."

"And I'll come back to haunt you," I laughed, and slid out through the window onto the fire escape.

From there, I scaled down the ladder and jumped to the next wall, falling down into the alley.

Then I slashed the gang member's yellow bandana off of his arm and made a break for it.

I'd sliced through his hoodie and drawn up a thin red line on his forearm, which was enough to make him ditch the group of girls he'd been harassing.

"Hey!" he screamed after me.

I laughed as I called up to Naomi and Kelsi, "See you guys later!" then I ran off towards Sunshine.

I took a swift turn into the arcade, where I vaulted over a Pac-Man machine and made a break for the other end of the place completely, sending the Scarf in a wide circle and making him completely lose his sense of direction.

I grinned from behind the empty prize counter and rested my chin on the glass case, watching him give up and leave in a huff.

"Hide in plain sight," I mumbled to myself. "Always the best trick."

It was then that I noticed a pair of kids staring at me, both wearing Raira uniforms.

They were both skinny and male, but one had messy black hair and the other had straight blonde hair that had obviously been dyed.

"It's rude to stare, you know," I said as I smiled and jumped over the counter. I brought the blonde under my arm and messed up his hair. "Masaomi Kida, haven't seen you in forever!"

"Hey, hey, this takes me two hours in the morning! I don't just wake up this sexy!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I replied nonchalantly. "What've you been up to?"

"Oh, you know, the usual!"

"So, hitting on girls and failing?"

"You know me too well," he mumbled with a sheepish laugh.

"Who's your friend?" I asked.

"Oh, this guy?" Kida suddenly noticed that his friend was still next to him. "He moved here not too long ago. We're old friends."

"Oh, y-yes!" Kida's friend stuttered, bowing hurriedly. "I'm Mikado Ryuugamine!"

"Ryuugamine Mikado, huh?" I mused, then laughed a little. "Sounds like an air conditioner!"

Mikado blushed slightly.

"Going to Raira, my alma mater? How d'ya like it?"

"O-Oh, it's a great school."

"Jesus Christ, I forgot to introduce myself," I said, remembering that this kid had no idea who the fuck I was. "I'm Elena Jacobson."

"O-Oh, n-nice to meet you," he stuttered.

I laughed as I saw his eyes widen when I said my name. "Don't worry, I'm not as scary as people say."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry if it came across that way..."

Kida threw an arm over the kid's shoulder. "Eh, he's a big pushover; gotta lot to learn!"

"Oh, my God, if you're teaching him, I'm so sorry," I joked.

"Hey!"

It was easy to joke around with Kida because he was confident in what he did, confident enough to talk with anyone or do anything he wanted. Plus, he was a kid who took jokes as easily as he dished them out, which was a whole damn lot.

I'd actually met Kida when I was out walking and he'd stopped me with a corny pickup line. I couldn't resist poking fun at him for it, and seeing him around town as frequently as I used to caused me to prod at him even more; you know how old habits die hard.

"We should get going, Kida-kun," Mikado mumbled sheepishly while looking at his watch. "We're meeting Anri in a bit..."

"Oh, gotta run then! See you later, Ellie-san!"

"Quit it with the honorifics!" I called after him. I didn't usually like honorifics, it seemed like they had no point except to tease me.

I ran a hand through my hair as I left the arcade, now suddenly bored and in the mood for more action. I felt surprisingly energetic today, which wasn't something I normally felt.

I looked down at my top, which was a pastel yellow color. Guess I'd dressed on the happy side, too.

Out on the street, I noticed Tom walking my way with Vorona on one side of him and Shizuo on the other.

I never understood why he needed two bodyguards, but then again, why not?

I almost went over to them, but then I decided not to in case they were in a hurry.

I walked back towards the inside of the arcade when I heard Tom's voice waft in through the open glass doors.

"...think we got the wrong address. I'll call Ellie."

I moved a little when I heard my name, but Vorona's groan nearly drowned it out.

"Ugh. Is that really necessary?"

"Why? Would you like to provide information on clients and break into government records instead?"

"Yes—well, no. But do we _really_ need her?"

"Yes, Vorona. Are you going to stop asking idiotic questions now?"

"What's your problem?" Shizuo's voice.

"She's always so, 'I know this and I know that,' and flipping her freaking hair around like she's better than everyone; tch, I bet it's not even really red..."

Vorona, queen of self-centeredness, was accusing ME of being egotistical? I was about to jump up and counter, but I didn't get the chance.

"Actually," Shizuo said in probably the calmest voice he'd ever used, "her dad was Scottish and Irish and he had red hair."

"That doesn't prove anything. Red hair is a recessive trait."

"Yes it does; he had kids with a woman from Japan, where the dominant is dark hair. In a regular gene cross, a hetero dominant and a recessive would put a 1/3 chance of the recessive gene reappearing. She had two other siblings with dark hair. I rest my case."

There was silence. Even I was confused. Shizuo always fought physically. Had he just won a verbal argument? And on my account?

You tell a guy your life story and suddenly he's a superhero.

"What? I'm not stupid, I just choose not to know shit."

"He's right, you know," I said from where I'd been standing. "Even though that was one of the smartest things I have ever heard _anyone_ say..."

"Thanks. I think."

"By the way, your impression of me was fairly close. You just missed the fact that I know _everything_ rather than just 'this and that.' I should thank you, since imitation is the highest form of flattery." I stressed my tone, letting just the right amount of sarcasm drip out of it. When I was fairly certain Vorona wouldn't bitch on me again, I turned to Tom. "Heard my name?"

"Uh, yeah, there's an issue with the address we were given for this client," he replied, handing me his cell phone.

"Well, what's wrong with it?"

"It's a general store."

"Ah. I'll just need the name of the client."

"Ayoka Freeman."

My fingers were suddenly slow on the buttons. Then they sped up again.

Why should I care if my mother's in trouble with money? It wouldn't be the first time. Now her struggle is my gain.

I punched in the last digit of the address I now knew by heart and handed Tom's cell phone back to him.

"Have fun," I said sarcastically.

"Thanks." Tom looked over it and started the other way with Shizuo and Vorona.

I poked Shizuo's forearm and mumbled, "Hey. Why'd you help me like that?"

He blinked behind his sunglasses and assumed a cognitive stare. Then he replied, "Because I felt like it."

I scoffed. "Been chatting with Gregor Mendel lately?"

"I made the mistake of opening a book Shinra had and it was on the first page."

"Well, I'm not some fucking damsel in distress," I mumbled, and he walked off after Tom.

I'd much rather have shot Vorona down on my own; why'd Shizuo have to get involved?

Like I said, you tell a guy your life story and he suddenly thinks he's fucking Superman.

I played with the ends of my ponytail as I walked along the sidewalk in the direction of Shinjuku. I wanted trouble today, which seemed unusual. In order to resolve my impulse, I decided to just go walking. Trouble usually found me rather than the other way around.

Since I was already deep in my own thoughts, it took me a while to realize how many stares I was receiving.

It could've been for a number of reasons, really. For one thing, I was probably the only redhead in Ikebukuro, maybe even all of Japan (well there were people with orange-y hair, but mine was more of a burgundy). On the other hand, I was one of the most notorious troublemakers in the vicinity, besides Shizuo and Izaya.

Among a sea of dark-haired, dark-eyed people in suits and dark jeans and tight tee-shirts, I think a slightly famous redheaded green-eyed informant might stand out just a little bit.

My phone began to vibrate. I flipped it open, brushing away some stray hairs from where they'd decided to block my eyesight. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Hello, this is Mikiya Awakusu."

"Good afternoon, Awakusu-san," I said politely. "How may I help you?"

"I'm currently caught up in a very important, er, business affair. Would you mind escorting my daughter home from school?"

"Of course, Awakusu-san. I'd be happy to."

"Thank you, Elena."

"It's no trouble. I hope your 'business' goes well."

"And you as well."

"Yes, thank you."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

After I hung up, I dwelled on the thought of how my use of language was always changing. Of course, I'd been raised to use "admirable" language, but cuss words were fun. I sometimes wondered about how easy it was to switch from being polite to being myself.

I knew that Akane went to a nice little private elementary school across town, so I began in the direction of the West Exit so I could take a shortcut across the park.

It was a nice, not-too-hot-not-too-cold day, so the walk was pleasant. I examined what was going on around me as I went, which I sometimes never had time for because I was normally making getaways or in a hurry to make a job meeting.

The first signs of summer were showing, the days were noticeably hot and the ground was littered with petals from flowering trees.

It was amazing what you noticed when you just payed attention, wasn't it?

When I approached the wrought-iron gate of the elementary school, I spotted Akane immediately with another little child sitting in the shade of the oak tree.

My ponytail swung as I walked into the schoolyard; Akane waved frivolously as I approached.

"Hi Ellie!" she said excitedly.

"Hey, Akane. Your dad sent me to take you home."

"Okay," the tiny girl replied happily. "But I want you to meet my new friend!"

"You made a new friend? That's wonderful!"

Because Akane's father was well-known, most of the children her age had parents who gossiped about her family at the dinner table; you know kids, always very impressionable. Most of them steered clear of Akane.

She took me to the shady spot she'd been sitting in, where I saw a little boy.

He was small and slightly skinny with large milky brown eyes and tousled ash blonde hair. I recognized him almost immediately.

I think he recognized me too, because after staring at me for a second he said, "Are you my sister?"

Well, I wasn't going to lie to the poor kid. And I'd always wanted a little sibling... "I guess I am."

"My brother says that you're a bad person."

"Your brother, who's also my brother? He doesn't even know me."

"He says you're a scaredy-cat for running away from Mom and Dad."

I felt a shudder wrack through my body. I had another little brother I hadn't even met, and he already hated me.

"I'm everything but a scaredy-cat," I replied in a level voice. "I haven't run away from them. They decided that they didn't love me anymore, so I went to find someone who would." Which wasn't completely a lie.

His already huge eyes grew wider. "_Oh_."

I held out my hand. "My name is Elena, but all of my friends call me Ellie."

He stuck out his own small hand and embraced mine in a handshake. "I'm Ronan. I'm happy I get to meet you now because Mom talks about you so much."

"Really," I said curiously.

"Mmhmm. She says she wishes you'd come and visit, because she doesn't want to force you to do something you don't want to do. Dad says that he wants to wait in front of your house until you come home, but Mom won't let him. She says that a young lady needs her space, but I don't know how that works because I'm not a young lady."

"You think some very incredible thoughts," I mused.

"Oh, yes, I'm always thinking. My brother Luka says that I think too much, but it's hard not to think when there's so much to think about!"

"Well, don't stop thinking. Everything you think of is a gift, and you should cherish it. Your brother's just jealous because he can't think as wonderfully as you can."

Ronan beamed. "Thank you! You know, you're a lot nicer than my brother thinks you are. Now I can finally tell him that I met you and you're super nice!"

"Thanks," I said; I couldn't hold back a smile.

Akane poked me impatiently. "Hey, Ellie, can we stop for a snack?"

"Okay, but you know the drill: nothing sweet until your father gives you permission."

The little noir-haired girl sighed. "Okaaaay..."

"It was nice to meet you, Ronan," I said kindly, bending down to meet his big eyes.

"Nice to meet you too," he replied with a child-like smile; child-like, because it was almost as if he'd never experienced the evil in the world yet.

Then I did something I probably shouldn't have done. I don't know if it was his innocence that made me do it, or if it was just that I felt this strange impulse to protect him...?

I took one of my business cards out of my pocket and handed it to him, then said, "Ronan, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me. I'll pick up right away and come running."

He examined it with his wide eyes and then smiled wide. "Okay! Thank you!"

Akane followed me out of the gate. "I had no idea you guys were related!"

"Yeah," I mumbled. I only just then realized what I'd done. I'd given my family my phone number.

I'd wanted trouble... guess I'd found it. I ran a hand through my bangs, bracing myself for things to get worse.

Sure enough, they did. I passed Tom and Vorona on the way to Akane's father's private estate, and I had to inquire where Shizuo had gone.

_ "I told him to go home. He attacked our client."_

* * *

** So, this week I have a lot of award banquets and stuff. Next week is finals and I've been cramming for them, and afterwards I'm heading to Hawaii for vacation~ I'm going to try to post a couple more chapters before then so that you ****_barracudas_**** will be satisfied while I'm on hiatus... =.= I just called you guys ****_barracudas_****. Please excuse my evident stupidity; I need to go slap myself in the face now.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	10. Dysfunctional

**Hey again! This week I have finals and school is finally ending on Friday... so I'm trying to get a couple more chapters in before I go on hiatus next week~**

**Without further ado, enjoy~!**

* * *

_ "...then you divide the numerator by the denominator and use the reverse tangent function on the decimal that comes out, and...!"_

_ Shinra continued scribbling and then slammed his pencil down on the kitchen counter. "Voilá!"_

_ Ellie took a swig of her coffee and stared blankly across the barstool, watching Shizuo try to learn Trig._

_ The blonde third-year stared blankly at the paper, eyes drinking in the scribbles and trying to make sense of them._

_ "Uh oh," Ellie retorted, "I smell smoke. Shizuo, you must be thinking again."_

_ He shot a deadly glare in the redhead's direction; she in turn smirked behind her mug and downed another mouthful of coffee. "Shinra, I don't think he gets it."_

_ "Oh yeah?" The scrawny young man exclaimed, squinting through his round glasses. "You try to teach him, then!"_

_ Ellie put down her mug of coffee. "You're on."_

_ She held a thin hand out for the pencil and took it from Shinra, moving closer across the table._

_ "See this? It's a triangle."_

_ "No shit, Sherlock."_

_ Ellie glared. "What's that box?"_

_ "It's a right triangle."_

_ "What does that mean?"_

_ "That angle is 90°."_

_ "Good. What do all the angle measures add up to?"_

_ "180°."_

_ "Good. When you have a problem like this, you use this nifty little trick to find irregular angle measures."_

_ "Yeah, that's been established."_

_ "Shut up, I'm talking," Ellie mumbled. "There's this cool little acrostic called 'SohCahToa.' It stands for those little shortcuts and how to set them up."_

_ "The sign thing?"_

_ "Sine, Cosine, Tangent. You follow?"_

_ "Uh huh."_

_ "The first letter of every part stands for those shortcuts, and the next two are the ways to make the shortcuts. 'Soh' stands for 'Sine, opposite, hypotenuse.'"_

_ "That's the long part."_

_ "Yeah. 'Cah' stands for 'Cosine, adjacent, hypotenuse.' 'Toa' stands for 'Tangent, opposite, adjacent.'"_

_ "Oh. I guess that makes more sense."_

_ "Now, you see the 'x'? From there, take the numbers that are opposite and adjacent to it and make a fraction. That's a Tangent, so the equation you write down since the damn teachers make you show your work is 'tanx=' the fraction you just made."_

_ Ellie scribbled down the numbers, trying to be as legible as possible. _

_ Shinra watched with his arms crossed and his mouth twisted into a pout as Ellie finished the problem, setting the pencil gently down on the table._

_ "See? It's that easy."_

_ "Oh." Shizuo took the pencil off of the table and then began to work through the rest of the problems that had been written down. "Thanks, ginger."_

_ "I have a name," she retorted. Looking past the fact that the third-year had ignored her, Ellie smirked towards Shinra. "So, what do I get for schooling your sorry ass?"_

_ "I'll do dishes tonight?"_

_ "And tomorrow night."_

_ "Ugh?!"_

_ Ellie laughed, and Celty suddenly came through the front door with groceries over her shoulder._

_ "Hey, Celty!" Ellie called. "Lemme help you."_

_ The redhead took some of the brown paper sacs out of the Dullahan's grasp and set them on the counter; Celty removed her helmet and whipped out a PDA. _

_** Sorry it took so long, it's hard to get groceries when you have no head and are dressed in all black.**_

_ "You could've asked me to do it!" Shinra protested. _

_** You were tutoring Shizuo...**_

_ "I think Ellie stole that job from me," Shinra huffed._

_ Ellie laughed as she started unloading groceries from their bags and into the refrigerator. She picked up a carton of milk and slid it nonchalantly into the shelf in the door of the fridge, continuing to pack away the necessities like any normal person would._

_ Then she traveled back to the counter and took another gulp of coffee._

_ "Ugh, how can you drink that?" Shinra grumbled, standing up and crossing to the fridge to remove the carton of milk Ellie had just put away._

_ "I don't drink it black, if that's what you're thinking," the redhead scoffed. "And you'd better freaking put that away when you're done with it."_

_ Shinra waved her off and set the carton back on the counter, reaching of a glass that was stored over the table on a cabinet attached to the ceiling._

_ He stopped suddenly; Celty noticed it first._

_**What's up, Shinra?**_

_ The third-year held up the carton of milk and adjusted his glasses, as if to make sure he was seeing correctly. "Ellie... Why are you on the milk?"_

_ "Pardon?" the redhead exclaimed, holding out a hand for the grocery item._

_ Sure enough, plastered along the side of the tough paper carton was her picture, and the word "MISSING" etched in big letters. Her eyes skimmed along the label, which read, "Photo aged to 15 years. Child expected to be of high school age."_

_ "They put me... On a milk carton," Ellie hissed. _

_ "What's going on?" Shinra complained._

_ "My stupid mom, probably," the redhead grumbled in reply._

_ She noticed that Shizuo hadn't taken his eyes off of what he was doing, but she knew that he was listening. _

_ "Ignore it," Ellie decided. "If they really cared, they'd have sent a police force out rather than plastering my face on food labels. It means nothing."_

_ "If you say so..."_

_ Ellie knew that Shinra and Celty were aware of the situation... They'd taken her in with open arms when she'd ran away, for crying out loud! _

_ But she couldn't keep her stare off of Shizuo, she couldn't help but wonder what he thought after just learning about it now._

_ If he felt anything, he wasn't showing it._

_ And Ellie didn't either. She wasn't planning on a sob story anytime soon. What Shizuo didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?_

* * *

My phone rang, so I picked it up like I normally would.

"Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Um, hello, this is Ronan Freeman..."

"Ronan?" I asked, my voice lightening. "What's up? What do you need?"

"I told Mom and Dad that I met you yesterday and they asked me to call you..."

"Oh." Ronan was a kid, how could I expect him to lie for me? I was thinking this would come sooner or later... "Is there... Anything else?"

He didn't seem to notice my voice catching in my throat. "Um... I dunno. She's asking me if I need anything else..."

I heard him talk off of the phone, probably to my freaking parents. How slimy of them to use their own son just to talk to me? I expected Ronan to tell Mom and Alex that he'd met me in person, but it was pretty below the belt for them to actually ask for him to call me when I'd given him my personal cell for emergency purposes.

"Um... Mom wants to know if she can talk to you."

I ground my teeth together. Maybe I did have some choice words to say to her. "Yeah, sure." If she dared say anything to me.

There was a rustling as Ronan handed the phone to my mother, whose voice drifted through the phone in a whisper. "Elena?"

"What do you want?" I hissed. For a second, even I was surprised at the venom in my tone, but I was also proud that I had the backbone to do it.

Judging by the few seconds of silence on the other end, I'd effectively stunned her into silence. I took my chance. "How dare you use your own son to get to me? I've obviously been avoiding you, and if you want to 'give a young lady her space,' then stick to it! I gave Ronan my cell in case of emergency only! Not for you to use him and get a damn chance to run your mouth at me about how I need to come back and be your perfect daughter! I have my own life now, I left for a reason, and you need to _leave me alone_!"

I slammed my phone shut and hurled it across the room, not caring where it landed. I felt strangely satisfied now.

I tossed myself facedown on my couch, breathing deeply so that I could regain the breath I'd wasted yelling at my mother.

There was a knock on my door.

I felt too lazy to get up. "What?" I called.

"Are you going to open the door or not?" Shizuo complained.

"You have a key, do it yourself."

"Just answer the damn door. I have something for you."

I groaned and heaved myself up off of the couch. "This had better fucking be good..."

I slid out the deadbolt and wrenched the door out of my way.

"What's so important that I have to come answer the door for you?" I huffed.

"Hold out your hands."

"Huh?"

"Just do it."

Rolling my eyes, I complied, and all my anger and irritation melted away when Shizuo dropped a kitten in my hands.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, examining the tiny animal. It was very small, maybe only a week old, and a sandy orange. It blinked its pale brown eyes at me and stretched its jaws in a yawn. "Where did you get him?"

"There's a woman down the hall from me who sells cigarettes and her cat just had kittens. She asked me if I wanted one and, uh... I, uh, thought of you."

I almost snickered at his quite obvious blush. Probably didn't want _niceness_ muddying his bad-boy rep.

"Shizuo, did you attack my mom this week?" I asked.

He didn't look at me; I guess he thought that he was in trouble.

"You're just my freaking _hero_, aren't you?" I grumbled.

"Hold up, you're not mad?"

"At you? Hell no. At her? Fuck yes." I opened the door a little wider and let him in, cradling my new cat in one arm. "I met my stepbrother the other day and gave him my personal cell phone number for emergency purposes, and she freaking asks him to call me so that we can talk. Talk about inconsiderate. I gave him contact with me, not her."

Shizuo sat down on the couch, crossing his arms and returning to his normal gruff attitude. "Did you yell at her?"

I took a bowl and a glass out of my cabinet and a carton of milk out of the fridge. "Damn straight I did." Pouring the milk into both the bowl and the glass, I crossed back over to the couch where I'd left my cat. "I think I had every right to."

I handed Shizuo the glass and set the bowl on the floor so the cat could reach it. Then a question came into my head out of nowhere and it made it past my lips before I could stop it. "Shizuo, what are your parents like?"

He set the now empty glass on the coffee table and thought for a second. "I dunno. Normal parents, I guess."

I sighed. "Care to expound on that?"

"Expound how?"

"Shizuo, if you haven't noticed, I left behind '_normal_' a long time ago."

"I dunno, I guess a dad that works and a mom that stays at home? That's as 'normal' as I could explain them."

"If you don't mind me asking, did they mind?"

Shizuo gave me a puzzled look. "Mind what?"

"You know, your whole, er, strength issue."

Then he did something I didn't expect. Shizuo threw back his head and laughed. "Well, my dad did get pissed when I broke the fridge."

"They didn't mind at all?"

"Not really. They tried not to draw attention to it. Really, I think they were a couple of the only people who really didn't mind."

"But there are a lot of people who don't mind," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "Name ten!"

"Your mom, your dad, Kasuka, Shinra, Celty, Tom, Akane, my new cat, Vorona, and me!"

"One of those wasn't a person."

"But you get my point! There are people who don't care because they just like being around you."

A wicked smirk I'd never seen before played on his face. "Does that mean _you_ like being around me too?"

"I never said that."

"But you implied it."

Ah, fuck. That was my loophole he'd just hijacked. "Screw you..."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, when should I come over?" I retorted, childishly sticking my tongue out at him. I glanced down at my cat, which was nudging at my ankle.

_My_ cat. God, it was so nice to say that.

"I should name it Shizu-chan," I jeered.

"Don't you fucking start."

"Oh, lighten up~ I was only teasing."

"What are you going to name the cat?"

"Hibiki."

"Tch, what kind of name is that?"

"It was the name of my dad's cat. My _real_ dad," I shot back. "Is that a problem, _Heiwajima-san_?"

"Not at all, _ginger_."

"What are you doing in here, again?"

"Well, I brought you a cat and you gave me milk and now I'm sitting on your couch, so I assume we're doing what people call "socializing" these days."

"Hey, easy with the 'S' word, not everyone needs to know."

"Very mature."

"Yeah, that's me," I retorted. "Mature as hell."

I waited for him to reply, but he kind of just stared at nothing.

"What?" I asked.

"Shh." he leaned closer to the couch for a second. "I hear something."

"It's probably me talking."

"No, it's quieter and less annoying."

"Hey!"

"Shut up!"

He dug between the couch cushions and held up my cell phone, which was vibrating violently.

"Wow, that was some distance. I wasn't even paying attention to where I threw that."

Shizuo waved it in the air. "If I'm holding this any longer, I'm going to answer it."

I scoffed. "Go ahead."

With a tight and slightly irritated smirk, Shizuo flipped my phone open. "Hello, you reached _a ginger_ who's too lazy to walk three feet and answer her phone; you'll have to call back when she realizes she has a spine and two legs that work perfectly well."

Then he snapped my cell phone shut and tossed it on the coffee table.

My mouth fell open in a little 'o'. "I can't _believe_ you just did that!"

"Believe it."

I scrambled across the room in a grab for my cell phone, checking my call history. "You dibshit, you just hanged up on Tom!"

"His fault for calling."

I swatted at his head and he brushed my hand away while I called Tom back.

"Hey, sorry about that, there's an idiot in my house."

But the voice on the other end wasn't who I expected. "Whatever. Tom wants you both here in ten. He asked me to call you since he's busy."

A laugh escaped my lips. I didn't intend for it to happen, but I couldn't help it from the very obvious jealousy in Vorona's tone. I wonder what she thought we were doing.

It's not like I would tell her we were being neighbors like normal; that would totally ruin the fun of making her feel envious.

"We'll be there," I replied, a hint of ambiguity biting at the edges of my voice.

I hung up and laughed again, a lot louder this time.

"What?" Shizuo asked gruffly.

"That was Vorona, actually," I replied, continuing to laugh, "and I think she thinks that you're at my house for a totally different reason!"

I tried to silence my laughter, but it got louder when realization showed in Shizuo's eyes and he kind of stood up and shuffled towards the door.

"...so, are we going or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done," I sighed, trying to expel the smile from my lips because my mouth was starting to hurt.

I knelt down and picked Hibiki up; he wasn't big enough to lay across my shoulders, so I just carried him in my arms.

"Why are you bringing the cat?"

"He's too young for me to leave alone," I replied. "Problem?"

"Nope."

We walked the six blocks in almost-silence, making comments once in a while about how nice a day it was, and other awkward stuff like that.

I'd noticed over the few weeks when the two of us had finally promised to be more social with each other, it had gotten progressively harder to talk normally with Shizuo. It should be easy as hell; the guy already knows all of my secrets.

Or maybe it's that I know nearly none of his?

I've trusted him with mine, does he not trust me with his?

It started to bother me even more as we approached the tax building, and Shizuo said something about work.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I said, did Vorona mention what work involved today?"

"No, not particularly," I replied. "She just said to be here in ten minutes, and that Tom was busy with someone."

"Probably someone who needs a loan... He usually gets those personally."

"Ah."

This time, we both had the same thought and took the stairs to avoid the awkward elevator music.

Five flights, but it was worth it.

Tom's office was empty when we reached it.

"I'm sitting in the desk chair!" I declared, hopping over Tom's desk and crashing in the comfortable leather chair.

"You do that..."

I sat Hibiki on my stomach; he stared at me with his pale eyes.

"You're really fucking adorable, you know that?" I sighed, petting between the cat's small ears. Hibiki stretched a little into my hand and curled up. I think we were friends now.

I glanced over to where Shizuo was watching absently throughout the window. His fingers twitched, so I knew he wanted to reach into his pocket for a cigarette. For a second, I wondered why he didn't.

He'd never once taken my advice on something; he was too stubborn for it. But I couldn't help but wonder if my opinion had anything to do with this—he knew that I hated it when he smoked, so was he trying to respect what I liked and disliked, or was it something else?

"Hey, Shizuo?" I asked lightly.

"Yeah?" he answered me easily, so I had reason to believe that he hadn't been very deep in thought.

"I know you want to smoke..."

"So?"

"So, why don't you?"

"Tom doesn't like when I smoke in his office."

I knew this was true, but Tom would normally tell him to crack a window or excuse himself outside if he really felt necessary.

"That can't be it," I thought out loud. "Tom usually tells you to open a window or leave. What's the real issue, here?"

He didn't have a chance to answer, because Tom came in the door with a familiar bunch of people behind him.

My mother was between two identical boys; I could tell the one on the left was Ronan, since he looked more open and curious than his brother who was quite close to dear old Mom.

Alex was following close behind Tom. So, they'd cleared up one debt and were asking for another loan?

Nice, Mom. Nice.

"Ellie, get out of my chair," Tom sighed. "Why do you have a cat?"

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine," I retorted. "What, did someone shove you off of the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"Funny," he grumbled. I shifted off of the chair; something told me that Tom was really pissed off.

"So, what do you need, Tom?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I just needed you to pull up some records."

"Sure, okay," I replied easily. I glanced at the window where Shizuo had been standing and realized that he wasn't there anymore.

It took me a second to realize that he was standing behind me, really freaking close to me.

At first, I didn't get it. Then I saw the way my mother was eyeing him, like he would attack her again, and realized that he was using himself as a barrier between us.

He was _protecting_ me.

I blinked away the initial surprise and moved the desk chair towards Tom so he could sit in it, then leaned down over the keyboard to log in under my personal user. I pulled up dear old Mom's file and took a couple steps away from the computer.

"Anything else you need?" I asked.

"Nah, thanks."

"Hey, where'd Vorona run off to?" I asked absently, even though I really didn't care.

"I sent her home. She didn't need to do anything else today."

I glanced at Shizuo. "Then why is he here?"

"He's doing his job," Tom answered lightly.

"Huh?"

"You can both head back home now, thanks."

"That was real quick, Tom, you sure?"

"Yeah, go on."

"...okay..."

This was downright odd. Shizuo's acting strange, Tom's acting strange... Was there something going on that I wasn't aware of?

I didn't have time to finish my thought, because Shizuo then began ushering me out the door.

He pulled me past my family, and I noticed my stepdad make eye contact with him.

Shizuo being Shizuo, stubborn as fuck and intimidating as hell, glared at him so fiercely that it felt like Alex had shrunk a few feet.

I had _never_ seen that before.

"Hey, Ronan," I said quietly as Shizuo continued pushing me past them.

"Hi," he replied in his curious child's voice. I was right, he had been on the left. The twin on the right, Luka was what Ronan had called him, scrutinized me with hard eyes.

Hopefully I'd have time to fix his muddied opinion of me later.

Shizuo, his hand still on my shoulder, guided me out the door and down the hall without stopping.

I pulled free. "What's your problem?"

"What, you want to be in the same room as them?"

"Well, no, but you're acting all weird and protective and that comment Tom just made was really weird, and—"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, he's worried about you. We're all worried about you."

"Worr—what? Why do you need to worry about me?"

"Last week, when I almost punched out your mom, Tom pulled me aside because he said that it was out of character for me to lose my temper with a woman."

"You lose your temper with me all the time, I don't see why it's unusual," I retorted.

He rolled his eyes and ignored me. "I had to tell him—"

"Shizuo!"

"He asked what was going on—"

"I tell you my darkest secret and you fucking turn around and tell your boss?!"

"Let me finish!" he demanded. "I told Tom that your parents were bad to you when you were young and you didn't want anything to do with them anymore, and now they were bothering you and you were getting pissed about it. We talked about it for a bit, and he told me that since you're also part of his company, technically I work for you too."

"You're shitting me, right? I can take care of myself, I don't need a damn bodyguard!"

"I think you do, and so does he. From what you told me, you can stand up to your mom but not your stepdad. You're still afraid of him somewhere in there."

"Maybe you're right, but I don't need you to fight my battles for me."

"And that's true too, but you've already let me in on your secret and now I have to get involved because if I didn't I'd be a bad friend."

"You're taking all of this way too seriously."

"Well," he countered, "maybe that's a good thing."

"It doesn't seem like it," I growled, stalking away from him.

He followed me down the hallway and out onto the street.

Stressed, I stroked Hibiki a little more fervently.

"You're being way out of character," I grumbled when he caught up to me.

"'Out of character?' What's that supposed to mean?"

"Since when do you care this much? Or care at all, for that matter?"

"Gee, I dunno, maybe when someone decided they trusted me enough to tell me their worst secret?"

I bit back a string of curses. "You're an ass."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"How is this even supposed to work? I get up, get dressed, and you follow me around all day?"

"Whatever makes you more comfortable, I dunno."

"And you expect this to work?"

"I _expect you_ to trust me," he answered tersely."

"Right," I retorted and rolled my eyes. "How can I trust someone I barely even know?"

Shizuo scoffed. "You know more about me than even I do."

"That's irrelevant."

"Fine, then, what do you want to know?"

"I told you about my crappy childhood; can we start with yours?"

I expected him to complain and groan and agree halfheartedly, but he just shrugged and began telling me his story.

"Well, it started when I tried to throw a refrigerator at Kasuka."

* * *

** Argh I feel like this chapter kind of sucked...**

**I had a buddy proofread it though and she said it was fine..**

**I've been drawing Shizuo and Ellie too much, I think XD they're cluttering up my binder... **

**Anyways, I'm working as diligently as I can on the next chapter, but I may not be able to get it in before I go oh hiatus on Friday...**

**in case that happens, see you guys in a week~!**

**Thanks for reading~!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	11. Vanished

**So, it turns out, I have Wi-Fi! **

**IT IS SUMMER AND I AM HAVING A BLAST. As a gift for my happiness, here is Chapter 10 on this generously given hotel Wi-Fi~ :D**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

_ "Shizuooooo!" Shinra called, jogging around the track painted along the wooden floor of the gym. "Ellieeeeee!"_

_ He'd been searching for the both of them since the beginning of class. He knew they'd both dressed out, but for some reason they were nowhere to be found._

_ "Shinraaaa!" Izaya Orihara jogged easily up to Shinra's side, barely breaking a sweat. "Why are you calling for Shizu-chan and his pathetic first-year?"_

_ "I haven't seen them yet," Shinra mumbled, "and they're my friends, so naturally, I'd be worried."_

_ Izaya's smirk was Cheshire Cat-esque. "I've seen them."_

_ "Huh? Where are they?"_

_ Ambiguously, Izaya jogged ahead without saying anything._

_ "Hey! Izaya-kun, you have to tell me!"_

_ "Catch me first, Shinra~!"_

_ Izaya took off in a sprint around the gym, leaving Shinra lagging behind him. The awkward third-year struggled to catch up._

_ He was panting by the time he got close to Izaya._

_ "Shinra, I was wondering, was Ellie-chan awake late last night?"_

_ "She... she had... a lot of... homework," Shinra hyperventilated, still trying to keep up behind him. _

_ "So, can I take that as a yes?"_

_ "Sure... whatever... you want..." At that point, Shinra collapsed on the floor of the gym, attempting to catch his breath._

_ Izaya leaned over him with a mischievous grin. "You caught me, Shinra~! Guess I have to keep my promise now."_

_ Shinra pulled himself to his feet, breath still uneven. He followed to where Izaya had skipped to one corner of the gym that housed the ever secluded bleachers for sports games barely anyone attended._

_ "There they are!" Izaya declared._

_ Shinra peered into the darkness under the bleachers, making out the red glint of Ellie's hair. She was sound asleep and leaning against Shizuo, who might as well have been snoring. _

_ "Aw," Shinra crooned. "They're sleeeeeping~!"_

_ "Yes, yes, they're so cute it's disgusting," Izaya replied monotonously. "I think you should wake them up~"_

_ "Wha—me? No way, Shizuo would kill me if I woke him up!"_

_ "I thought you were missing your friends," Izaya teased. _

_ "Yeah, but I'm not waking them up, they're both scary when they're tired..."_

_ "Okay, then I'll do it~!"_

_ "What?! Are you insane?!"_

_ Izaya smirked. "Marginally." Then he placed his hands on the creaky metal structure and shook it as violently as possible. "Shizu-chaaaaaan~! Waaaake uuuuup!"_

_ The pair jumped, realized how close they were to each other, and scrambled out from under the bleachers._

_ "Damn flea!" Shizuo growled, swinging at Izaya._

_ Ellie twisted her ponytail around the palm of her hand. "He's not worth it, relax."_

_ But Shizuo broke into a run and began chasing Izaya around the gym._

_ "No one ever listens to me," Ellie mumbled under her breath. _

_ "Why were you, ah... asleep?" Shinra asked timidly._

_ "I dunno about Shizuo, but I crawled under there at the beginning of class because I was tired. He wasn't there when I fell asleep."_

_ "I wonder if Shizuo was up late last night too," Shinra mused. _

_ "Maybe."_

_ The pair began to jog out onto the track again, catching up to the rest of the class._

_ A female second-year with straight brown hair and dark eyes that she wore green contacts over called out to them. "Sleeping with guys during class, Jacobson? I always knew you were a slut, but this is a new one!"_

_ The second-year tossed her hair, expecting laughter from her pack of followers. _

_ "Is that your best nip at me, considering the girls' bathroom in the south hallway most often has your undergarments littered on the floor?" Ellie countered._

_ When the second-year didn't answer, the redhead scoffed. "Hypocrite."_

_ "That was mean," Shinra miffed._

_ "What do you expect?" Ellie scoffed, her ponytail swinging as she ran. "They act like they're entitled to everything, it's no mystery why they pick on everyone who does crap better than they do."_

_ "I kind of hate people like that," Shinra commented._

_ "What?" Ellie exclaimed. "But you hang out with Izaya all the time!"_

_ "But he's just cheeky, I don't think he means any harm..."_

_ Ellie stopped running. Shinra slowed to a stop. "Ellie? What's wrong?"_

_ That's when the redheaded first year brought the back of her hand swiftly across the third-year's face; the force made Shinra fall onto the smooth floor of the gym, and his glasses flew off in the other direction._

_ "OW! JEEZ! What was that for?!" _

_ Ellie picked Shinra's glasses up off of the floor and examined them. "Aw, no cracks. I'll have to hit you harder next time."_

_ "Next time?!"_

_ "Shinra, nearly everything you say is stupid. You should count yourself lucky I don't hit you every five seconds."_

_ He scrambled to his feet. "But why did you slap me?"_

_ "You don't seem to understand that Orihara-senpai is absolutely everything but harmless," she answered, handing Shinra his glasses back. _

_ "Aw, he just wants to have a little fun once in a while. Isn't that what high school is for?"_

_ "If attempted homicide and assault is considered 'fun,' then he must be having a blast."_

_ Shinra placed his glasses back on his face._

_ "Honestly, he has some serious issues. He has a habit of gauging negative reactions from people around him. I won't be surprised if he grows up to be a total monster."_

_ "Monster?" Shinra tasted the phrase, and then laughed. "Isn't that a little overboard?"_

_ "Calling that angry wall of meat over there a monster is overboard," Ellie retorted, pointing across the room at Shizuo, who was scowling to himself like angsty teenagers most often did. "Most people call him monstrous, and Orihara-senpai is just considered to be a strange guy. The difference between the both of them is that Shizuo doesn't mean to hurt people most of the time. Orihara-senpai does it religiously and enjoys it. Who sounds like the real monster to you?"_

_ "I see your point, but I don't think Izaya is a "monster" persay." Shinra made air quotes with his fingers to emphasize what he was saying. "It's not like he'll grow up to be Godzilla or something."_

_ "Shinra, you're going to grow up to be clueless. Shizuo's probably going to end up doing something he hates, and Orihara-san will still be causing misery, only he'll get paid for it."_

_ Shinra exhaled loudly, seeming offended. "Well, what will you be doing then?"_

_ Ellie laughed. "Shinra, I'll be keeping you three in line. I'll be correcting your blunders, keeping Shizuo from hitting every pedestrian in sight with a street sign, and I'll probably be chasing around Orihara-senpai and trying to keep this city in order."_

_ "That's a tall assumption."_

_ "I'm a tall girl," Ellie shot back, acknowledging the fact that she was, in fact, taller than Shinra. _

_ "Why do you always seem like you know what's going to happen?"_

_ "I don't. I just take a wild guess off of what people do right now and wonder."_

_ "That seems odd."_

_ "I'm odd, Shinra," Ellie pointed out. But she didn't say it in a negative way. She smiled instead. "Live with it."_

_ "You're optimistic, aren't you?"_

_ "Nah. I'm opportunistic."_

* * *

I rolled out of bed and staggered before I hit the floor. I was groggy, and just realizing that it was kind of early on a Saturday morning.

Last night had been dark and dreamless, but also sleepless. When something bothered me, I had a habit of tossing and turning and never getting any sleep.

Problem? Well, I didn't know what it was.

I flipped my hair over and shook it out before flipping it backwards. I was halfway into the bathroom when I smelled smoke.

"Quit smoking in my apartment!" I called, my voice muddled.

"Why should I?"

I cracked open my bedroom door and glanced at the couch. I didn't know how early Shizuo had decided to show up, but this had been his routine for at least a couple of weeks now. He'd kept his promise about following me around all day, and I really fucking mean _all day_.

"If you plan on staying on my good side, please don't fill my living space up with secondhand smoke. I'd like to live a little longer than forty years, please."

He growled a little and snapped his cigarette in half.

"Thanks."

"What's on the agenda today?" he asked lazily.

"Slow down, Speed Racer, I don't even know what I'm going to wear today."

"Would you mind figuring that out then?" His tone was like ice.

"Well, then!" I exclaimed. "Who peed in your Cheerios?"

He made a big point of rolling his eyes.

I closed the door, wondering who'd managed to piss him of at, er...

I glanced at the clock.

...9 in the morning.

I multitasked, brushing my teeth while simultaneously looking through my closet for something to wear.

I spit in the sink and slipped a black and white polka-dotted blouse over my head, adjusting my skirt at the same time I grabbed for my brush on the counter.

By the time I'd exited the room, I was pulling on my boots while I was trying to tie my hair into a ponytail.

Shizuo was in the kitchen, raiding my fridge.

"Don't waste your breath," I told him. "I'm out of dairy products. You cleaned me out."

He slammed the door and grumbled to himself on the way to my couch again.

I sighed and crossed behind him, reaching out and grabbing the back of his vest. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he grumbled.

"Shizuo, you smoke when you're pissed and when you can't do that you go digging for comfort. Don't pull your 'there's nothing wrong' shit on me."

"I'm tired."

"No, you're a liar."

"And you're irritating me."

I scoffed. "What else is new? C'mon, tell me what's up."

He continued on his way to my couch; I followed him, giving Hibiki an affectionate scratch behind the ears when I saw him lounging on the coffee table. "You can't ignore me forever. I seem to remember you insisting on being my bodyguard for as long as you decided was necessary."

Shizuo gave a noncommittal grunt. I laughed loudly and let him do what he wanted. "Fine, if you're going to be like that. I don't have any scheduled jobs today so I'll probably go grocery shopping, and maybe I'll go to the library too."

"Why are you such a boring person?" he grumbled.

"So, being intellectual is considered being boring?" I asked monotonously. "Sorry I can't destroy a building every two hours."

I ambled back into my room and grabbed my keys and my wallet, heading back out the door.

"Are you taking the cat?" Shizuo called lazily.

"No, why?"

"Thought you said he couldn't be home alone."

"Because he can't," I said, puzzled.

He picked Hibiki up off of the coffee table, walked over to me, and dropped him on my head.

"I thought I was boring," I retorted as I opened the door.

"Doesn't stop me from doing my job," was his reply.

I swung my arms in a childlike manner while Shizuo followed me down the sidewalk outside of the building, bouncing a little as I walked.

I tried to stay as positive as I could, since Shizuo had this ongoing effect of spreading his negative mood all over everyone around him.

I reminded myself that it was a nice day, there was a cat across my shoulder, and the only thing that could possibly get me down was an angsty ex-bartender with bleached hair.

Not much of a challenge, considering that I dealt with that nearly every moment of my life. I was used to his endless mood swings and bad-guy attitude.

We stopped at the small general store on the corner of the station's West Exit and Meji Dori.

"I'm waiting outside," he grunted.

"Want anything?" I asked.

"Cigarettes would be nice."

I sighed. "Fine."

Since I didn't usually cook for myself, nor did I have time to eat at home, I just grabbed some stuff to stick in the fridge, something that I could grab if I was hungry and take with me if I had to run somewhere.

I got a few cartons of milk and vanilla ice cream for good measure; if Shizuo was going to loiter in my apartment as often as he was, I had to stock up.

At the checkout, I asked the clerk for a pack of cigarettes. She eyed me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked thinly.

"Oh, no, you just don't look like someone who smokes."

"Well that's because I don't," I replied with a short laugh. "They're for my moody friend outside."

The clerk said nothing and took a pack out from under the counter. "Will that be all?"

I thought to myself for a moment. Then I grabbed a pack of gum from the carousel next to the register and placed it in front of me. "Yeah."

I hauled the couple of paper bags outside and gripped the gum and cigarettes in one hand.

I expected Shizuo to be smoking, but he wasn't, which led me to assume that he'd smoked his last one this morning.

"Here," I said, and gave him the pack.

He lit one immediately, which proved my theory correct. I held the gum out to him. "Next time you run out, try this."

He raised an eyebrow but took the gum, stuffing it in his pocket along with the cigarettes he'd requested.

After dropping off the groceries in my apartment, Shizuo trudged after me to the library.

It was an older building that seemed like it used to be well-visited, but not many people came around anymore.

"You know the rules of the library, right?" I asked.

"'Shut up', right?"

"It's more like 'be quiet,' but I think you get it."

"I'd rather wait outside," he grumbled as we approached the big doors of the building.

I dropped Hibiki in his hands. "Then watch him, please. No pets allowed."

He groaned but complied, and I entered the library.

The room was paneled and dark and windowless, and the third oldest building that I'd ever known to be in Ikebukuro. Four long oak tables stood in parallel lines down the center of the wide, tall room and every inch of every wall was crammed with books—some were new and freshly bound and some were yellowing and crumbling away. Flat metal shelving drawers housed manuscripts and back behind the librarian's desk was a line of overflowing file cabinets.

The librarian, Millie, was a woman who aged like my mother, not young anymore but still pretty. She knew me from my high school days, when I would hole myself up in here to escape the confines and difficulties of my reality.

"Elena Jacobson, you've grown about a foot and a half since I've last seen you. What have you been eating these days? I feel like I haven't seen you in a hundred years." She leaned over the counter to me, examining me with electric blue eyes. She seemed to have kept her brown hair in the same cropped hairstyle as I'd last seen her in, which made me feel like I'd been here only yesterday.

"I know, I'm sorry," I replied. "I guess I just didn't have much time."

"Now is as good a time as any!"

"Can you refresh my memory on where I can find Old English?" I asked.

"Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing."

"Euripides?"

"Very good." She pointed off to a sea of books on her right.

"Thanks, Millie," I said and headed off in the direction she'd pointed to.

The aisle smelled like old, yellowing paper with a tang of the ink used to write the books down; my brother used to say that it was the smell of knowledge.

Cheesy, yeah, but I somehow felt connected to him when I was here. I remembered him carrying me on his shoulders down the street from our house to the public library. He'd let me pick out some books and then we'd spend hours reading them together.

I slipped a Shakespeare off the shelf and leafed through it. I know I hated dwelling on my past, but the good memories weren't so bad. Sometimes it was comforting to cling to them.

What better way to spend an empty day than remembering that?

Plus, Shizuo would probably never come into a library. This was somewhere I could spend hours in and not have him constantly breathing over my shoulder.

I skimmed over the page I'd randomly turned to in what seemed like an ancient copy of _The Twelfth Night_ and thought that if I had a cup of coffee in my other hand, my life would be complete.

I felt eyes watching me.

I glanced around me, and for a moment I was sure there was no one in sight.

But I peeked through the books and saw I'd been noticed by someone on the other side of the shelf, coincidentally someone who wasn't very friendly to me.

"Hello," I said quietly.

Luka's expression was downward, and he was almost glaring at me.

"Tell me," I whispered, "why do you always look at me like that?"

"Maybe because I _don't like you,_" was the acidic reply I received.

"Why? I haven't done anything to you. This is the first time I've met you. Ronan seems to like me just fine."

"He's younger, so he wouldn't understand," Luka stressed. For ten years old, he sounded a lot smarter and more articulate than a ten-year-old should be. "Do you know what it's like having to live in somebody's shadow? Somebody who doesn't even exist?"

"I'm afraid you've lost me," I replied.

"My parents are always saying how 'smart and beautiful' their precious little girl was, and how 'oh, why can't you be like her'?"

I sighed. "They're hopeless..."

"What does that mean?"

"I left my home when I was a little older than you," I said. "They weren't there to see me grow up, they don't know what I am. They don't know what they're talking about and they don't have a right to judge you by what they think I am."

"So why are you still there?"

"I didn't want to be... I didn't think Ronan would understand what I went through, so I just told him that I ran away. You seem like you would understand."

"My parents wanted to be smart, so I became smart," he sighed. He sounded almost tired.

"Why don't we sit down?" I suggested. "I'll tell you the truth. Whatever they've told you, I'd love to hear it."

"Dad always said that he was "mean to you" and drove you away. Mom always said that she should've been closer to you."

"Okay, I guess that's true in a few ways," I said. "But is that all they told you?"

"Pretty much."

"Luka, it's much more graphic than that."

I began to explain my life to him in a more condensed state than what I'd told Shizuo, leaving out how I was now someone who helped cause misery for a living. And how I'd had a hand in his parents' at least twice.

"Do you understand," I asked when I was finished, "why I did what I did? I didn't mean to cast a shadow. I wanted to disappear completely."

"I guess you don't have to apologize... You've been through a lot."

"In addition to that, just because I got good grades didn't mean I was smart. Like I said, I only got good grades because I was depressed and I had a lot of people bothering me about a lot of different things. I didn't need my parents bothering me about grades to be another one. And beautiful?" I scoffed. "I've always been a regular ugly duckling. Different and always gets pushed around."

Luka's smirk reminded me pointedly of my sister's; mischievous and cunning all at the same time. I knew immediately that he was going to reply with something clever, and he did. "Didn't the ugly duckling grow up to be a swan?"

I changed the subject despite the fact that I was smiling. "Why are you here, anyways?"

"It's a public library. Am I not allowed to be here?"

"Okay, wise guy. Are you here alone?"

"Yes, I came to pick up a book for a report I'm doing. In fact, you're holding it."

I held up_ The Twelfth Night_. "Shakespeare? You're ten."

"And a half."

I rolled my eyes and handed him the book. "One thing's for sure. You're absolutely related to me."

"Is that a good thing?"

His sarcasm made me reply, "I can't be sure. Shouldn't someone be watching you?"

"My apartment is up the street. I'm not in any danger."

"Kid, you're in Ikebukuro. There's a war between color gangs going on. An insane man with an eskimo's jacket is running around with a switchblade. Isn't there also a guy going around cutting people? Good ol' Mom and Dad must be off their rockers of they've left you alone."

"Oh, settle down. I told you, it's right up the street."

"All right, all right. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

"Okay, I've been warned. My turn to ask questions. Why are you here?"

"I didn't have any scheduled work today."

"Really? What do you do?"

I swallowed. The question. "I, uh... I relay information."

"So, you're an information broker."

"...Basically."

"And you make money off of mafia and color gangs and small businesses."

I bit my lip. "Yep."

But Luka only shrugged. "Cool."

I exhaled. "In some cases."

"So, you had nothing to do and you decided to come here? Do you have any source of entertainment at all?"

"Yes. But for the past few weeks, this friend of mine has insisted on following me around to keep me "protected from danger." He won't leave me alone and this is one of the only places I can ditch him in because he thinks it's not worth coming in."

"Are you referring to the fierce-looking blonde guy that made my dad overly-cautious for a week?"

"What?" I laughed. "Shizuo made that man look behind him twice in an alley? That's awesome!"

Luka frowned. "I understand the way you feel about my father, but you should know that that comment was slightly offensive to me."

"Yeah, I know. I thought we were keeping this polite, so I thought it might be necessary to express my real feelings about whatever comes up."

"I understand..."

"But back on subject, yeah, the "fierce-looking blonde guy" is waiting outside with my cat."

"You brought your cat?"

"He's too young to be left alone," I protested.

"The cat or your scary friend?"

I laughed, maybe a little too loudly for a library. "Shizuo might be intimidating, but he's far from scary. Part of me thinks that there's a nice guy under there, screaming to get out."

"Yes, he's screaming, "help! I'm trapped inside a hellion"!"

"I'll agree he's a troublemaker, but he's not the worst this city has to offer. Some of the guys here make him look like the Patron Saint of Ethics."

"I'll believe that when they fix the street lamps in the park."

"They already have," I answered meekly.

"You know, the first time I saw him throwing things around the way he does, I assumed he was some version of Superman."

"Maybe he could be if he put his mind to it," I replied.

"I guess you can do anything if you really think about it..."

"I think that's valid. I ran away from home and look where I am."

"True." Luka skimmed through _The Twelfth Night._ "I should leave now. I got what I came for."

"I'll go out with you," I said, reaching for a copy of _The Tempest_ off of the same shelf.

Millie took both of our books and wrote their ID numbers down; she had refused to use the modern scanners they used in school libraries.

"Due back on the 29th," she told the both of us. "And I expect to see you back here on that date, Elena."

I smiled. "I'll be back before then."

Luka and I walked in near silence towards the front of the library, and he said something that made me think.

"I still don't particularly like you, but I'll make an effort now that I know you're not the villain I thought you'd be."

"Oh, Luka, you thought I was a villain? I'm flattered."

"Still, I'm somewhat miffed meeting you like this. You're not such a terrible person... I'll have to rethink how I judge characters."

I ruffled his ash blonde hair affectionately. "You're ten. You've got time."

Luka pushed open the big doors of the library and I followed him out into the brightness of the city.

I squinted through the light reflecting off of nearby buildings and looked around for Shizuo.

For a moment, I thought that Luka had gone over to him, and realized that Luka was still beside me.

"Ronan!" he called. "Get up, we're going home."

Ronan jumped up from where he sat next to Shizuo and examined me with big eyes. "Oh, coming!"

He ambled over to me and reached out his small arms to hug me around the waist. "Hi, Ellie!"

"Hey, Ronan," I replied. I didn't know he was going to hug me; awkwardly, I bent over to return it. "I hope you aren't bothering Shizuo too badly."

Ronan didn't look bruised, physically or emotionally, so I wondered how he had gotten around Shizuo's bad mood.

"Aw, I wasn't bothering anyone. Was I, Mister Heiwajima?"

Shizuo glanced around, stared at Ronan, then at me. "Maybe."

"Huh? Maybe?!" Ronan frowned slightly, then whispered sideways, "He's just grumpy."

I had to laugh. "I know. But he's secretly a good guy under all those layers of grumpiness."

Ronan laughed with me. Only, it wasn't so much of a real laugh. It was almost teasing, like he was conveying a hidden message. A message like, "_I know something you don't._"

I forced a smile and I think Luka noticed. "Someone step on you, _Elena_?"

"It's Ellie," I said ruefully, "and no, I'm fine. Shouldn't the two of you be on your way?"

"As a matter of fact, we should. Come on, Ronan."

"Okay," Ronan mumbled. "See you later, Ellie! Bye Mister Heiwajima!"

The twins went on their ways, and just by watching them side-by-side, I was able to distinguish them.

I could see it in the way Ronan walked, with a spring in his step, and how Luka clutched his book close to his heart and stood straight as an arrow as he kept up with his younger and more energetic half.

They were both extremely different from each other, but near carbon copies of my elder siblings all the same.

"What's the damage report?" I joked as I stood next to Shizuo.

"Nothing too serious," he replied gruffly.

"Have you cooled off, or do I need to go back inside?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm fine." Shizuo cleaned his sunglasses on the arm of his dress shirt, then perched them back on the bridge of his nose. "That kid's a lot like you."

I scoffed. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

He smirked. "Somewhat."

"Somewhat?"

"You both talk too much, but thankfully you know what you're talking about."

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or offended."

"And that's the way I like it."

"What did Ronan do to you?" I retorted. "You seem like you're in a way better mood now."

Shizuo stood up. "What are we doing now?"

I crossed my arms. "So, what, you're just going to avoid my question?"

"I'm kind of hungry, so I was thinking late breakfast or early lunch."

"I'll take that as a yes," I sighed.

"Thought you were used to it, ginger."

"What, you can talk to my brother but you can't talk to me?"

"That's right."

"Ugh. You men are impossible."

"You women are demanding."

I exhaled loudly and in annoyance. "It's close to 11. Lunch sounds doable."

"Sounds good to me."

About halfway up the street, I realized Shizuo had ditched the cigarette he'd been smoking when I'd gone in the library and was chewing the gum I'd bought.

After a while of thinking about it, I decided to not draw any attention to it.

I'd just ask Ronan the next time I saw him. That knowing smirk had to mean something. Because, as you know, knowledge is power.

And I _like_ power.

* * *

**This chapter is amazingly, painfully, horrifyingly short D:**

**On the bright side, this is only the bridge to the more exciting parts of the story. I promise, just trust me on this one. I had to make this one short so that I could fit everything else into its rightful place. Believe it or not, this was pretty damn important.**

**Other than that, how is everyone's summer going? Mine just started and I have no idea what to do other than sleep and write Fanfiction.**

**Still not completely sure that's a bad thing.**

**Thanks for reading~**

**See ya ;D **

**-Eibon**


	12. Tempest

**Hey again, everyone! Broke out another chapter as soon as I could! I have two days left until I hop back on the plane home, so I thought I'd spoil you guys a bit!**

**Well, enjoy!**

* * *

_ "Oh, Orihara-senpaaaai~!" Ellie hopped to the next fire escape. She waved his cell phone in the air. "If this piece of junk is so important to you, why aren't you trying harder to get it?"_

_ Izaya ground his teeth together and tried not to look as pissed off as he felt. If this incompetent first-year had any brains in that small red head of hers, she would quit messing around with his belongings before he went on with his threats of putting her in a hospital._

_ Ellie, who was also annoyed and exasperated with this game, wished that school would freaking end already. It had ended for her and the rest of the first-year classes the previous day. Second and third-years were still testing today and third-years graduated tomorrow. _

_Ellie knew Izaya would try to pull something during Shizuo's final examinations, so here she was trying to keep him occupied. Why?_

_ Well, some part of her didn't want to see him in class the next year. She was sort of sick of stepping over ruined concrete on the way to class. _

_ Another part of her, some hidden part, really wanted him to succeed. He seemed like he could if he put his mind to it._

_ Izaya, who'd had final exams earlier in the day, was already going to succeed somewhere. Ellie didn't know where, but she couldn't stop him from doing it. Not yet._

_ She scaled another fire escape and jumped up to grab the crumbling edge of a building, hauling herself up to the roof. Izaya followed up a fire escape that conjoined with another across the alley, sending Ellie running off across a few buildings._

_ Her heart jumped as she reached an alley. She hadn't particularly practiced nor tried parkour, but there was a first time for everything, right?_

_ Ellie sped up as she reached the alley and jumped, swinging her arms as she sailed across to the next rooftop. She was proud of herself for accomplishing something new, but her pride didn't last very long. She could see Izaya on the building she'd just jumped from. _

_ As she ran towards the next roof, her own cell phone buzzed and she glanced at it._

_ A text from Shinra, final examinations were over._

_ Knowing that Shinra and Shizuo were in the same class, Ellie relaxed. A lot._

_ She jumped down to another ladder of a fire escape, leaving Izaya's phone on top of the metal grating. _

_ She reached the ground and wobbled, then took off into a sprint towards Raira. She reached the gates as Shinra was skipping out, Shizuo lagging behind._

_ "No more schooooool~!" Shinra was celebrating. Then he noticed Ellie. "Hey, why are you panting?"_

_ "Just... ran here... Give me... a minute..."_

_ "Do you need some water?" Shinra offered. _

_ "No, thanks," Ellie sighed, finally regaining her breath. "You'd better be damn grateful, Shizuo Heiwajima!"_

_ He rolled his eyes. "Thanks."_

_ "Damn straight..."_

_ The redhead walked between the pair, listening to Shinra talk. _

_ "So, there was this one question that was really bugging me. It was finding the volume of a cone, and I went through the formula but the answer wasn't in the choices!"_

_ "Shinra, why do we care?"_

_ "You should care, it's math!"_

_ "When am I ever going to need the volume of a cone? The volume of anything? It's not like I'm going to_ _measure crud for a living."_

_ "Well, you never know!"_

_ Ellie rolled her eyes. "Well I know it's not going to be that."_

_ "Okay, okay, whatever you say," Shinra sighed. "But I'm definitely going to be a doctor!"_

_ "Oh yeah? A legal one?"_

_ "What kind of question is that?"_

_ "This is Japan, smart ass, there are more illegal doctors than legal ones."_

_ "Really?"_

_ "Yeah." Ellie glanced at Shizuo. "Well, you're pretty quiet. There's a first."_

_ He glared at her, but she didn't shrink back. "Whoa there. I was kidding. What's up, happy?"_

_ "You assholes are depressing me. I have no idea what I'm going to do."_

_ "Aw, you'll find something. Quit worrying about it."_

_ "Why are you so optimistic?"_

_ "We all have our whole lives ahead of us, we can do anything. Don't just get depressed before you've thought about it."_

_ "Shinra's right, you've got a lot of options. Save depression for when you run out of them."_

_ Shizuo sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Guess you're right."_

_ Ellie smirked. "I usually am."_

_ "Don't push it, red."_

_ Shinra bumped Ellie with his elbow. "Hey... Those scary-lookin' guys are staring at us..."_

_ Shizuo glanced around Shinra and Ellie and glared back at the group of men with some article of blue on. _

_ "Just keep walking," Ellie hissed under her breath. The trio sped up simultaneously._

_ "Guys," Shinra said nervously. "They're followin' us..."_

_ Ellie slipped Izaya's knife out of her boot. "They're looking for trouble, I bet."_

_ Shizuo grasped the redhead's knife wielding hand. "You think you can do anything about it? You're going to get hurt, or worse."_

_ "I can take care of myself." _

_ "I'll believe that when I see it."_

_ The pair continued to argue and Shinra pulled them forward, trying to escape the oncoming thugs. _

_ "Quit arguing, you guys! They're coming closer..."_

_ "Well, stay close then, this might get messy."_

_ "Ginger, don't you dare."_

_ The first of the gang members approached and sneered. "I got told to look for a redhead with a smirk. Think I found 'er."_

_ "Oh, did Izaya send you?" Ellie crooned. "That's so cute. He thinks everyone else can fight his battles."_

_ The gang member whipped out a blade and swung it at the redhead, who crossed it with the one she'd stolen from Izaya at the start of the year. _

_ She was confident, strong. Shizuo didn't need to protect her, she could protect herself! _

_ The knife fight continued while Shizuo and Shinra watched, unable to do_ _anything without hurting their friend. _

_ A couple more gang members emerged from a nearby alley and brought out blades of their own, turning a one-on-one into a three-on-one. _

_ "Hey, that's not fair!" Shinra protested._

_ Ellie wasn't listening, she couldn't. She was busy trying to dodge and counter._

_ One of the trio came around and tripped the redhead, who was off her guard long enough for a different gang member to create a long slash mark along the inside of Ellie's knife wielding arm._

_ This made her drop her knife and grip the gash, which was dripping a river of crimson. _

_ Shizuo immediately intervened, tossing one of the gang members against an alley wall and relieving the other of his knife._

_ Shinra dragged Ellie away from the scuffle and slipped off his uniform jacket to press to the wound. "It's too deep, it needs stitches," he amended._

_ "Whaddya know," Ellie said through her teeth, "you would make a pretty good doctor."_

_ "Ellie, you should've just listened to Shizuo!"_

_ "Why, it's a scratch!"_

_ "A scratch that needs stitches! Why can't you just admit that—"_

_ "I can take care of myself, okay?"_

_ "And that's been established," Shinra grumbled. Ellie had never seen the sweet-tempered Shinra get so pissed. "But now you've gotten hurt, and that's not good! Shizuo cares what happens to you, and he doesn't do that for a lot of people! Stop making him worry so much!"_

_ "Shinra, why do you guys even care what happens to me?"_

_ "Because," he replied, eyes blazing, "you don't just bring a twelve-year-old homeless girl to your house and not care what happens to her! You're part of our lives now, whether you like it or not!"_

_ Ellie was silent for a moment. No one had ever particularly cared for her like this. "Thank you, Shinra."_

_ "I'm not the one you should be thanking."_

_ Shizuo rushed back, his jacket ravaged with slices from a knife. "Are you all right?"_

_ "...thanks, Shizuo." _

_ Shizuo was speechless for a second, but then reached out a hand to help the redhead up. "You're welcome."_

_ Shinra got up too. "It's about time..."_

_ "About time for what?"_

_ "It's about time you realized that we actually do care..."_

_ "Shinra, I always knew. I just chose to ignore it."_

_ But she hadn't._

* * *

The headline stared at me from where I usually got my newspapers in the morning.

** "SLASHER ATTACKS SKYROCKET. DOZENS HOSPITALIZED."**

I decided not to get my newspaper that morning.

As I strolled back up to my apartment to continue my work, I glanced at my phone.

It was earlier than I normally woke up, around 8:30. I wondered where Shizuo was.

When I reentered my apartment, it was empty except for Yori and Hibiki, who was dozing on the coffee table again.

"Hey, has Shizuo been by this morning?"

Yori moved a glass off of the coffee table, away from where Hibiki could knock it over. "I'm afraid not, Miss Jacobson."

"That's odd, he's usually here. Even this early."

I couldn't understand why I was so bothered. Shizuo being constantly over my shoulder, complaining about everything, was not traditionally a good thing.

So why did I feel like I was missing something?

I tried to shake it off as I began my day's work.

A normal day consisted of ten or twelve clients who had called early in the morning or late last night, and I would relay the information they needed as soon as I got up the next morning.

I called and emailed and texted that information, to which I would afterwards communicate with that client about payment.

I had less than the norm today, six who'd called over night.

Almost all of them wanted information on the slasher.

I was _sick_ of the slasher. Sick and tired of hearing about it, of researching it, of telling people that it was not the Dollars' faults. Nor was it Celty's.

I'd kept that information just in case, and now I'd relayed it four more times to what seemed like more gang heads wanting to force the Dollars out of Ikebukuro's gang circuit.

The other two clients I received were regulars: one from the Awakusu asking about the Yakuza, and the other from Kadota and company who wanted the location of another immigrant hold-up. They had established themselves chasing down traffickers.

As I finished my email to Kadota, my phone rang from the corner of my desk.

"Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Yes, ah, hello!" the unfamiliar voice on the other end said. "My name is Shuji Niekawa, I am a reporter from Tokyo Incidents, the magazine? Perhaps you've heard of it?"

"Yes, I've seen it once or twice," I replied. "May I ask why you're calling?"

"Of course! I'm currently writing an article on the strongest person or creature in all of Ikebukuro! Due to many interviews with a many different people, I've been directed to you."

"Sorry for the inconvenience, but you're looking for Shizuo Heiwajima."

"Oh, I know, my previous source said that you could tell me about him."

"This previous source would be...?"

"A different informant, one that works out of Shinjuku."

I sighed. "Would that be Izaya Orihara?"

"Oh, yes! That was his name! Strange fellow, that one is..."

"Quite. I don't think Shizuo would be comfortable with me giving out any information about him. If you want anything concerning him, you'll have to ask him yourself."

"Oh, I see. I apologize for taking up your time."

"No, it's all right. I'm only sorry I wasn't able to help."

"Yes, of course... G-Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

I hanged up the phone. What a strange man. And Izaya sent the poor guy on a wild goose chase. Typical.

It had passed 9 now, and it was almost 10. I was getting unbearably concerned now.

"Yori, watch Hibiki, will you? I'm going out for a bit."

I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door, sticking my phone in my pocket.

I couldn't understand why I was so concerned about Shizuo, but I did know one thing.

He wouldn't just give up on something he'd decided, he was too stubborn. Even if it was something as dumb as just watching me do crap.

As I was walking across to his apartment, I called his cell phone.

Nothing.

I knocked on the door twice. "Shizuo, are you there?"

This was pretty futile of me. I knew he wasn't there. I didn't even bother going inside because I already knew it.

It was official, I was really worried.

I searched the block, looking for that familiar glint of blonde hair.

I'd already called Tom, who hadn't seen him at all.

It wasn't like Shizuo to just disappear without a trace. If he ever disappeared, there'd definitely be a sign of a struggle.

I took the long way around town, walking in and out of places and loitering on street corners for a while just to see if he'd come by.

Something was definitely wrong...

As I passed downtown, I traveled up to Celty and Shinra's apartment. Maybe he was there?

The thought was disgustingly optimistic, but I could still hope.

I knocked on the door. Shinra answered. "Oh, hey, Ellie! What brings you here?"

"Hey, Shinra," I said. "I've been looking for Shizuo all day and I can't find him."

"Huh? How come?"

"A few weeks ago, he and Tom decided that he'd suddenly be my bodyguard, and he's been following me around since then—"

"So, you need a bodyguard?"

"No, he didn't come around today and he won't answer his cell phone and it's not like him to just ditch something because you know how he gets when he has his mind set on something..."

I was rambling. Shinra grinned. "Aw, you're _worried_ about him~!"

My face felt hot. "Yes, and if you tell anyone I will _maim_ you."

"No problem, I won't mention it. But that is odd. I haven't seen him since the last time you two came around."

"Oh."

"Celty's out doing work on the slasher..."

"Why is everyone so obsessed with the slasher?! I am _sick_ of the slasher!"

"Well, it's a mystery and everyone loves a good mystery!"

"Except me..."

"Yeah, well, you hate everything."

"No I don't..."

Shinra sighed despite his smirk. "Celty may have seen him."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Last I heard, she was getting some info from Izaya."

"About what?" I asked, miffed.

"The blade the slasher's cutting people with. An enchanted sword called Saika."

"Oh, this again," I grumbled. "Damn fairy tales."

"I think it's real..."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Isn't a Dullahan a fairy tale, too?"

I sighed. "I see your point."

Shinra shrugged. "Just look for Shooter. They shouldn't be too hard to miss..."

"Thanks, Shinra," I grumbled.

"Yep."

As I sauntered away from Shinra's apartment, I thought to myself. The slasher and Shizuo, what if they were connected? What if Shizuo wasn't around today was because he was dealing with the slasher or something?

That just worried me even more.

I wished I could stop thinking about it, but he really was concerning me. Was this how it felt when I did something stupid?

Maybe I did have to apologize to him for something.

I took the train downtown to Shinjuku and stood in front of Izaya's place for a while, not feeling like going inside and bothering to look the asshole in the eye.

Plus Shooter wasn't outside, which made me think that I'd just missed her.

I'd killed enough time to miss lunch and delve into 1:00. I'd been too troubled to stop and eat, and now I didn't want to go back home. Running around like this without anything to show for it was bumming me out.

I sighed as I walked away from Izaya's building.

* * *

It was dark by the time I'd wandered back to Ikebukuro.

I didn't check the time, mostly because I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like doing anything.

I fingered my knife in the pocket of my jacket, still there from the last time I'd brought it along.

For maybe the fifth time, I considered calling Shizuo but decided against it. My efforts had been fruitless all day and now all I wanted to do was go home and collapse.

The shadows moved behind me.

I swung around.

There was nothing.

Maybe I was just jittery, or something. Overly worried for nothing.

The darkness shifted again and I sliced at open air.

Twin points of crimson light stared at me through the darkness.

I blocked a long katana just before it sliced through my shoulder and jumped back.

A girl of high-school age with unkempt black hair about the same length as mine pointed the same katana at me.

"Don't resist...!" she almost crooned, swinging the blade at me again. I rolled to the side and held my knife in an offensive position.

"Resist what?" I mumbled, keeping my distance.

I watched the girl's eyes, glowing with an eerie red light, dart wildly from side to side and stare at nothing before they finally focused on me.

I was sick of the slasher, all right.

She lunged at me with the katana and I forced the blade away with the hilt of my own, jumping up just in time to stop the sword from slicing me.

We crossed blades for a second, and I forced myself back against the wall of the side street, pushing off and grabbing onto the fire escape above me.

The slasher swung her blade at my foot and I let go of the ladder, attempting to kick away the blade.

All I got was a thin slice along my left calf.

My vision was suddenly imbalanced, and I felt disoriented. Almost drunk.

I hated the feeling and tried to force myself to focus, but not soon enough to avoid the blade again.

This time the cut crossed an old scar along the inside of my wrist from my high school days, and I couldn't balance anymore. It was almost like something was forcing me down.

**CUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUTCUT**

I shook away the trance, making my eyes focus on the slasher, who raised her blade again.

**MOMMOMMOMMOMMOMMOM**

I raised my knife and caught the edge of the slasher's sword on it, trying to ignore the dripping of my blood on the pavement.

**LOVELOVELOVEIWANTTOLOVELOVEIWANTTOLOVEYOUIWANTTOLO VELOVEIWANT**

"Stop it!" I cried out. The voices in my head were increasing to a pitchy wailing, and I couldn't ignore them anymore.

**LOVELOVEIWANTTOIWANTTOLOVEILOVEYOUILOVEILOVEIWANTL OVETOLOVEYOU**

_ "I want to love you like a father should, like a father should, if you'll let me do that."_

My stepfather's face. Speaking to me, convincing me. _Trying_ to convince me.

I reached up and slashed at the girl, making a wide gash above her forehead.

She screamed out in rage and pain and moved to slash me again. The voice I heard was stronger this time, a growl rather than a high-pitched keening.

**STRONGLOVELOVEIWANTSTRONGILOVEWANTLOVESTRONG**

_ "You have to be strong, okay? Be strong!"_

Kaoru, my brother. I reached for the slasher and cut through her dark jacket.

**STRONGLOVESTRONGILOVESTRONGLOVELOVESTRONGLOVESHIZU O**

_ "Ginger, don't you dare."_ Shizuo. I sliced ahead of me again. Even when he wasn't here, he was yelling at me to not get into trouble.

**SHIZUOSHIZUOSHIZUOSHIZUOSHIZUOSHIZUOSHIZUO**

The damned voice was screaming now. Angry and inflamed, it was screaming Shizuo's name to me.

I knocked the slasher down, pointing my knife at her. "Was it because of you?"

Confused but almost contempt, the slasher cocked her head to the side.

"Did you hurt Shizuo?"

The slasher let out a high, rolling shriek that I soon realized was laughter. "I understand!"

This was the first time I'd heard her speak other than when she tried to cut me that first time. I gripped my knife tighter.

"I understaaaand~! I understand why we can't love you..."

"Love?! This is all about love? You cut people for love?"

"Yes, yes, I express Saika's love to all humans by slicing through them, letting their blood drip... But you aren't loving us back, how strange! But I understand, I understand!"

"Understand what?" Blood was rushing out of my wounds, streaming thicker the harder I held the knife.

"The love that I want, it's reserved! It's reserved~!"

"Re...served?"

"Yes, yes, reserved! Reserved for Shizuo, reserved for Shizuo~! And that's why I must love Shizuo too!"

"Wha... You're insane!" I tried to understand what the slasher was saying, but she jumped up and slashed at me again before I could counter.

I was knocked to the ground and my knife was hit away from me; I rolled away from the slasher's blade and made a beeline for my own.

As soon as I grabbed it, I swung around and tried to slice at the slasher again. She made one last effort to best me and her blade skimmed along my cheekbone before she suddenly fled. The only proof that the slasher had ever been here was the river of crimson running along the ground.

Staring at my own blood made me woozy. I dropped my knife and the world spun around me. The smell of it made me nauseous, and I drifted off feeling like I was going to throw up.

The next time I opened my eyes felt like only seconds later, and I was staring at Shizuo, Shinra, and Celty. I tried moving my lips to some extent, and Celty held her phone in front of me.

_ Don't try to move. It's worse than we thought._

I tried to say that I was fine, that all I wanted was for the blood to go away.

I stared at Shizuo, who stared back. "Sorry..."

I drifted away again before I could try to reply.

He wasn't apologizing for my injuries. He was apologizing because he wasn't there to stop them.

Sometimes it hurt me that he cared so much and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

* * *

** From here on, I promise things are going to get more exciting. Remember that little IzayaXOC tidbit in the summary? It's coming soon, promise~ **

**Anyways, I'm glad that you guys are enjoying the story so far. It always makes me happy when people enjoy what I write. Always makes me want to write more :)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	13. Admiration

**Okay, you guys, can I just say how amazing you all are? I check my email like twice every week, and I just so happened to have checked it last night, and I literally just started crying from the reviews I got. Seriously, all the positive feedback I've been getting is so incredible it feels like you just want me to die out of happiness. I love you all immensely and you brighten up my day :)**

**Enjoy, lovelies~**

* * *

_ Ellie sighed as she set down her laptop, the last item in the last box. _

_ She could successfully check "moving in" off of her to-do list._

_ It'd been a solid two months since she'd graduated from high school, and today was the day she finally moved out of Celty and Shinra's apartment and into her own. _

_ It was small, two rooms, and about a mile from where she'd previously roomed with the Dullahan and her glasses-wearing friend. _

_ Still, it was cozy and comfortable and a good place to begin her business in._

_ After going through those idiotic career aptitude tests, Ellie had decided that she didn't want to do something "practical," like be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever. That wouldn't fly in Ikebukuro. She'd decided on the same business Shinra had said Izaya had taken up, which was an information broker. _

_ It seemed like a good job to her, especially as she was good at finding backdoors in computer systems and such. If she had to compete with Izaya, that was even more fun. As much as she absolutely hated him, the game that they played was enjoyable._

_ Of course, given the fact that she usually won._

_ Ellie sat down on the small sofa in the second room, resting her computer on her lap and her cell phone in her left hand. She had already pre-attained the information she needed to relay with the people who had called on her._

_ It was amazing how quickly things got around. She'd just begun and there were already people reaching out to her._

_ Ellie picked up her phone and dialed the first number. "Hello, is this Hasegawa? Yes, I'm calling in regards to the information you requested."_

_ "I apologize for the misunderstanding. I've already received the information I required from, er... A different source."_

_ "Oh, I see. I apologize for the bother."_

_ Ellie hung up the phone and called the next person. _

_ And the next. And the next._

_ For some odd reason, none of them needed information anymore._

_ They'd all gotten it from "a different source."_

_ Ellie gripped her cell phone tightly. That "different source..." What were the chances that "source" was Izaya Orihara?_

_ Ellie flipped through her contacts and pressed Shinra's. _

_ "Hello?"_

_ "Shinra, sorry to bother you, but I have a quick question that's slightly trivial."_

_ "Okay, ask away!"_

_ "What other informants are there in Ikebukuro."_

_ "Uh, just you and Izaya I think."_

_ "Right. Thanks."_

_ "No prob!"_

_ Ellie hung up and gave a long sigh, running a hand through her wavy red hair. It had to be Izaya, all right. Who else would mess with her like this?_

_ She grabbed her jacket from where it hung on the back of a chair and slipped it on, pulling the hood over her head. Maybe if she messed with him too, it would even the score..._

_ She opened the door, scurried down the three flights of stairs, and rushed out into the rain._

* * *

I opened my eyes and on instinct, stretched.

"Ow," I groaned. "Ow, ow, ow..."

"Jeez, quit moving!" Shinra exclaimed. "You're going to rip your stitches!"

"Stitch—huh?" I examined myself; my arms and legs were overrun with black threads. I lifted my top and found a couple on my stomach. There was a thick bandage on my cheek.

"Do you even remember what happened?"

"I don't... Oh, yeah!" The epiphany hit me like lightning. "The slasher!"

Shinra spit out his coffee, and Celty (who'd just walked in) tripped over herself.

_ The slasher?! _

"Yeah, I was walking... I was walking home, and this girl attacked me with a katana."

_That's odd,_ Celty typed. _The slasher we found was a man. _

"No, it was definitely a girl. About high school age, long hair, crazy eyes."

"Celty, I told you, that knife you came across was one of its children," Shinra chimed. "The mother is still out there somewhere."

"Okay, I did a little research on this crap for people who wanted information, but would you mind filling in the blanks for me?" I asked. "All this demon blade stuff is a little out of my area."

"Saika is a demon blade whose ultimate goal is to "love" humanity," Shinra explained, setting down his coffee. "Because it doesn't have a bodily form, it expresses its love through cutting people."

"That explains why she was going on about love," I sighed. "Anything else?"

"Saika can possess people. It probably possessed the girl who attacked you. By possessing a human body, it can go around with control of the host mind to cut people, therefore spreading its love."

"Has anyone ever mentioned to it that cutting isn't love in the most classical sense?"

"Like I said, it has no bodily form. All a blade does is cut, it can't hug or kiss anyone."

"I hope not, that would be super creepy."

Celty typed something._ Hey, Shinra, how come Ellie isn't possessed by the blade now? _

"What do you mean, Celty?"

_ Well you said earlier that by cutting people, it also spreads its influence. It makes daughter blades, right? How come Ellie isn't possessed by it?_

"I could probably answer that," I replied. "When we were fighting, she kept saying something about reserved love."

"'Reserved love?'"

"Yeah. She said she wasn't getting through to me because 'my love was reserved.'"

"That's odd," Shinra mused.

"There was something else... I can't remember it, though," I sighed. "My head hurts."

"You should keep resting, then."

I groaned and turned my face towards the inside of the couch.

_ Darkness._

_ More darkness._

_ I kept walking, but it seemed to just get darker. When I looked around me, everything was exactly the same. Like a thick dark blanket had been tossed over me. _

_ Something was building in my chest, trying to burst out of me. I realized it was fear a moment after the feeling hit. _

_ Something was following me. Chasing me. Hunting me._

_ I ran._

_ I didn't want to look behind me. I tried not to. _

_ Out of fear and adrenaline, I glanced behind me into the red eyes of a thing that wanted me dead. _

_ I ran and ran and ran._

_ Eventually the thick, blanketing darkness built around me and brought me to the ground. _

_ I screamed when the thing pounced on me._

_ Cuts, cuts all over me. I was bleeding worse than I knew I had been in my memories, the red blood washing out around me and standing out crimson in the darkness. _

_ The creature turned into my stepfather, pounding me against a wall. Screaming at me, hands around a little girl's throat. _

_ Then it was Izaya, staring ahead with those snake eyes and drawing a blade slowly, sadistically, along a high school student's arm. _

_ Finally it was the slasher, with no restraint and no mercy, fiercely stabbing a blade into what looked like the remains of my own body. _

_ Pain and blood and pain and blood and I watched it all happen._

_ Again, I screamed_.

The scream was practically nonexistent, like someone had squeezed it from my dry throat.

I wheezed rather than yelled, and sat up on the couch.

_Oh_. A nightmare.

I coughed a couple times, and noticed Shinra standing by Celty and watching her PDA.

"What's up?" I asked, but my voice was hoarse.

They looked like they'd barely moved from when I'd laid down, but something told me I'd been asleep longer than a few minutes.

Celty held up the phone to me.

My eyes recognized the Dollars' chatroom I'd happily trolled more than once, but different. The chatroom was empty, save for one icon labeled 'Saika.'

The mysterious user had typed out into the room, over and over, words like "cut" and "mom" and "love."

And most recently, "Shizuo."

"What... the fuck?" I heard myself say. "What is this blade's freak obsession with Shizuo?"

"We don't know," Shinra said.

Celty clicked some keys_. I'm off to show this to Shizuo. He'd want to see it._

"I'm coming, too," I said.

"But your stitches—"

"Shinra, I know you care about my well-being and that's really nice of you, but this involves me, too. That thing put all these cuts on me, and I plan on returning the favor."

Shinra's glare was cold. "If you so much as pull one of those stitches—"

"I'll be careful, I promise!" I replied, raising my right hand.

"Doesn't matter, Shizuo will slap you around if you do anything dangerous..."

"Okay, okay."

I followed Celty to where she kept Shooter, her horse that she'd charmed to look like a motorcycle, and hopped on the back.

_Hold on_, she typed.

Shooter raced out onto the street, off towards Shinjuku. The wind blew the hood of my jacket down and my hair out behind me.

Celty probably already knew where Shizuo was, go figure. I had been looking for her when I'd been seeking him out.

Asshole still didn't know I'd been out searching for him when Saika's host made a guest appearance.

When I was definitely sure we were heading towards Shinjuku, I made a wild guess about where we were going.

Celty pulled off the main highway and raced down the boulevard, where I could already see Shizuo raising an iron fence you'd see on the side of a freeway to use against Izaya.

He stopped when he saw Shooter coming towards them. Izaya phased out of the defensive position he'd taken and glanced behind him.

Celty screeched to a stop, and I swung my feet off of her pitch black steed.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo asked. It wasn't as condescending as I'd expected.

I shrugged. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Hello, Ellie-kun~!" Izaya said smoothly.

"'Sup, flea?"

"Tell me, who did you decide to anger today?"

I realized he was referring to the lines of black adorning my skin. "A blood-crazed slasher."

"Wonderful," he replied with a smile.

Shizuo growled and raised the fence to hit Izaya, when Celty jumped up off of Shooter.

Her body language was along the lines of we have no damn time for this.

She held up the screen of her PDA to show Shizuo the chatroom; he dropped the fence and stared at it for a while.

His face was less angry now and more curious. "...the hell?"

"You seem to have a secret admirer," I retorted.

He glared in my general direction, but the glare didn't meet my eyes.

Odd, for someone who glared at me often.

"In all seriousness, though," I said quietly, "the slasher has some issues with you."

"I can tell."

"You've gotten this far," I mumbled at Celty. "What's next?"

Celty gave an almost nonexistent shrug of her shoulders. I ran a hand through my bangs.

"Move over," Shizuo grumbled, and mounted Shooter in front of me.

Celty cocked her helmet to the side in confusion.

"If the crazy bastard's looking for me, might as well see what it wants."

The Dullahan hopped back on her horse and glanced back at the both of us before taking off.

I spotted Izaya watching us with a mysterious glare as we rounded the corner and drove back towards Ikebukuro. I had the strangest urge to flip him off.

The palms of my hands were sweaty from holding onto the seat of the bike, and I could feel myself slipping off. Almost like a reflex, I held onto Shizuo who was sitting as nonchalantly as if he were riding in a bus or a car.

He flinched when my hand grabbed his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just... Y'know. Falling off a little."

A moment passed and he reached for my other arm, placing it around his waist. "Hold on, then."

I tried not to think about how strange it must look to be driving in a car and see the Black Rider carrying Shizuo Heiwajima and Elena Jacobson down the highway.

If only they knew we were looking for the slasher.

Shooter swung off the main road and reached downtown Ikebukuro, circling the strangely empty streets.

"Just go somewhere open," I suggested.

Celty steered Shooter towards South Ikebukuro Park, the closest technical 'open space.'

It was eerily quiet and empty. I drew my arms away from where they were locked around Shizuo's torso and hopped off of the bike. Shizuo dismounted Shooter and glanced off into the shadows cast by the trees.

"Is it just me," I said, "or is this really super creepy?"

_ It's not just you_, Celty typed, then for some reason drew away.

"What?" I asked. Then I sighed. "Is there something behind me? Please say no."

Shizuo glanced at me, then took a second take. "No, there's nothing there."

"Then what's the matter?"

"Your eyes, ginger. They're red."

"H-Huh?"

Celty fumbled with her PDA and snapped a picture of me. She turned so I could see it. Sure enough, there was a copy of my face staring back at me with this oddly panicked expression and practically neon crimson irises.

"Never mind what I said about the park, guys. This is really creepy."

Celty typed something quickly. _Shinra said red eyes are the side effects of being possessed by Saika!_

"Wait, so why am I not getting the urge to cut people?" I shuffled through my pockets and found my switchblade. I held it up, almost vying for something to tell me to cut someone. "Nope, I got nothing."

Celty stared at me, her body language implying that she was puzzled. _That's odd. I wonder if it has something to do with the 'reserved love' thing._

"'Reserved?'" Shizuo asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I fought with Saika before, its host told me that it couldn't "love" me because the "love" it wanted was "reserved" for somebody else," I answered.

"Who?"

"I don't know, that's the part I can't remember."

_ So, if it couldn't get what it wanted, why does its influence still show on you?_

"I dunno, I'm not an expert in all this supernatural mumbo jumbo!"

"Figure it out later," Shizuo suggested. "We have company."

I glanced around. Hundreds, maybe thousands of red lights glared through the shadows of the park, of the city. Humanoid forms became visible not too long after, Saika's daughter blades making their way towards the park. Towards us.

"Make that_ a lot_ of secret admirers," I told Shizuo. Only this time, he didn't have the time or patience to glare at me.

A chill became palpable in the air; I turned and focused my eyes on Celty's scythe, a huge black blade that practically blended into the night.

"Don't bother," Shizuo called lazily. "I can take care of this."

The scythe disappeared and Celty tossed Shizuo some black gloves.

I didn't see what she typed to him, but he mumbled a thanks before pulling them on.

The slasher victims suddenly became more plentiful, forming a wide semicircle about Shizuo.

A couple of high school girls took my arms and pulled me into the crowd of daughter blades, probably thinking that I was one of them. I forced myself not to struggle or protest; I wasn't interested in getting in a fight with the daughters. I wanted a fight with the Saika who attacked me.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, hoping that the daughter blades had enough mind to answer me, but enough control over their minds not to ask why.

"Mother wants to love Shizuo Heiwajima," one answered.

"Shizuo Heiwajima is strong," a second continued. "Shizuo Heiwajima is a formidable opponent. He will make a great addition to Mother's army."

I almost wished they knew that they would barely scratch Shizuo, but it'd be way better if they learned that the hard way.

The high school kids dropped me all of a sudden, just in time for me to see Saika's children go flying through the air one by one. It was enough time for me to make a break for it. Like hell was I going to get in Shizuo's way.

I began shoving my way towards the downtown area, glaring through all of the empty streets.

My cell phone said it was only 9 PM, people should've been out and about for a few more hours. Even Simon wasn't at his usual spot in front of Russia Sushi.

I guess the slasher victims had scared everyone off. They'd certainly creeped me out, that was for sure.

When I crossed out of the intersections downtown, I spotted a few people on the street, only to realize that they also had red eyes.

I slowed my pace and walked lazily; maybe they wouldn't notice me if I assumed the attitude of one of Saika's children...

"Where are you going?" a passing victim, a young man slightly younger than me, asked. "Mother has summoned us to the southern park."

"I'm, ah... I'm going to aid Mother." I spat out the words like they were poison. I hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Mother is no longer in need of our assistance. Her only wish is to cut Shizuo Heiwajima."

_ Fuck, enough with the cutting Shizuo already..._

Realizing that I was going to miss my chance to accomplish what I wanted, I split down an alley and tried not to look back, afraid that there would be red eyes consuming me from behind.

The row reached a dead end, and I crawled up the closest wall, finding footholds in the loose but firm areas of decaying brick.

Once I'd reached the top of the building, I began covering more ground. I didn't have to be as careful with being seen on top of buildings, and I had to run fast enough to make it over the alleys separating the blocks.

I'd first assumed that the Saika host would be far away from the park, but now I wasn't so sure. She could've been in the opposite direction for all I knew.

But I guessed I was going the right way, since the daughter blade I'd run into in the street had basically implied that I was heading towards the true Saika.

Even if it took me all night, so help me, I'd find the thing and cut up the body of the bitch Saika was using so badly that the damn knife would have to find another host.

If you haven't noticed, I don't take injuries lightly. If it's a bruise, I'll let it slide, but all these fucking scars are going to cost that blade.

I stopped running at the edge of Meiji Dori; Raira was just around the corner. Glancing down, there were no human beings in sight. Not even children of Saika.

I listened to the wind and blinked a couple times; I could've sworn I heard metal crossing metal. But it was coming from the other direction than I'd been traveling in.

With no other leads, I decided to trust what honestly could've been my imagination and took off in a sprint towards the East Exit.

Sure enough, as soon as I got closer, I could hear bits and pieces of a scuffle.

A slow, monotonous voice. The wet, thick sound of a blade cutting through skin.

I swallowed bile and skidded to a stop over an alley and looked directly down.

The alley cut through on both sides, one end to a row of apartments and the other towards the park I'd left maybe 15 minutes ago.

From above, I recognized the same girl who'd attacked me. In the moonlight, I could see her features better. Her long black hair was even more unkempt than this previous day, and she had been forced to the ground at the point of someone else's blade.

This other girl, also of high school age, was very familiar to me. I'd seen her hanging around Kida once or twice, and she wore the Raira school uniform. Short dark hair and glasses, but red eyes identical to the Saika host's and mine and every other crazy bastard in the park right now.

The low, monotonous voice of the Raira girl drifted up to me on the slight breeze.

"The mother of all those blades is this. I am unable to love, and this is the reason. I must rely on Saika to love other people for me. You see, I truly am her parasite."

Before she'd spoken, I'd assumed the Raira student was a rogue daughter blade. But what she was saying now pretty much put forward the idea that my attacker was the daughter blade, and the Raira girl was the real Saika host.

"T-This can't be!" my attacker stuttered.

"You were able to make children by slashing others with that blade. I'm not sure how you came across it, but this is the true Saika." She gestured to the sword she held in one hand.

"N-No! Only I hold the real Saika!" The girl who'd attacked me jumped up and began slashing at the true Saika with her own blade. A laugh built itself up in her throat, exploding into the alley.

Then the Raira student had her sword pointed at my attacker's throat, as if it had been the easiest thing she'd ever done.

The daughter Saika swallowed. "Why?! Why did you let me cut you?!"

"Because I'm about to do something horrible to you, and I don't want to owe you any favors."

The true Saika sliced her blade thinly along the daughter Saika's throat, and she dropped her blade, falling into unconsciousness.

So, that was it? The Saika that bested me wasn't even the real one?

Lame.

But I had nothing against the true Saika holder. After all, she did sort of avenge me. My work (if there was any at all) was finished.

I tugged on my hood and took to the other end of the building, where I scaled the bricks down to the sidewalk.

"All's well that ends well," I mumbled to myself.

As I crossed the street, I noticed Shizuo sauntering across the neighboring walkway.

"Hey," I laughed as I approached. "You look like shit."

Which was true, in all honesty. The only thing in mint condition were his famous blue tinted sunglasses. The rest of his also famous bartender getup was covered in slices from a blade. In addition to that, his hair was wildly messy, but he seemed untouched otherwise.

"This is coming from you, ginger," he countered.

"Fair enough," I commented indifferently. I couldn't be offended by the comment necessarily, since Shizuo was never really precise on his insults these days. I was, after all, covered in hideous black strings. "How were your dates?"

Shizuo scoffed. "They weren't really my type."

"You have a type?"

He messed up my hair, which I took as a sign that he was sort of fed up with me, but also (thankfully) willing to deal with me. "Short, smart ass, and _knows when to be quiet._"

I narrowed my eyes at the sarcasm I'd detected. "I prefer strong, mysterious, and _not constantly PMSing._"

"That's a _tall_ order."

"I'm five foot nine," I replied fervently. "I'm a _tall_ girl."

Maybe that excuse used to work on Shinra, but on Mr. Six-foot-One, it wasn't doing much good. He leaned an elbow on my head to emphasize the height he had on me.

"So, I've been demoted from mutual friend to armrest," I mused. "Charming."

"More of a _pro_motion, actually."

"I'm so excited."

I heard in the distance, "Hey! Gimme all your money!"

Maybe someone was getting mugged, but like hell was I in the mood to help.

Hello, opportunist? Muggers and I are kind of in the same league.

The yelling male voice came closer and Shizuo suddenly spun around, right-hooking a slightly familiar man right in the jaw.

I ducked on instinct. I still couldn't tell whether or not the punch Shizuo had thrown was on instinct, but it's not like I was complaining.

I glanced down at the man who'd crumpled to the sidewalk, and realization dug its way through my muddled brain.

"Hey, isn't that the student teacher we had?" I asked. "Nasu-something?"

"I don't know. Frankly, I don't care."

I shrugged and continued down the street beside Shizuo. I poked his forearm. "Hey, I'm hungry."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Simon's place is just around the corner. We could grab some sushi."

"...fine."

"Cool. Beating the shit out of the daughter beings of a transcendental demon blade really takes it out of you."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Well, I mean, I'd guess. Running from them is pretty tiring, too."

"Whatever. I'm kind of starving."

"Me too."

And Shizuo and I continued in silence down the boulevard, the only assurance that the red eyes wouldn't come back the sudden bustle of traffic that had miraculously appeared and the giant Afro-Russian advertising sushi on the corner of downtown and the park.

Like they'd never even left.

* * *

** I hope you guys enjoyed~ I always like hearing from you, especially since you're all so damn nice to me T-T**

**There was something else I wanted to say, but crap, I can't remember what it was...**

**Hm, oh well, if I remember, I'll say it~**

**Thanks for reading! **

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	14. Differentiate

**Hello again, lovely readers! So, a car just flipped over on my street and there's a drunk guy in the hospital now and it's 5 AM and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to finish this chapter~**

**Enjoy :3**

* * *

_ Ellie adjusted her hood, tucking away the strands of her red hair that refused to stay covered. The rain was steady, but it luckily wasn't pouring. She was on a mission, and there was no way a little water was going to stop her._

_ If Izaya Orihara was going to be a little bitch and steal her business, then she would make sure all hell broke loose when he was near. _

_ Ellie's wrecked black boots were soaked from the puddles she'd trudged through. She grumbled to herself, promising to go out and buy new shoes soon. _

_ She crossed the street through Sunshine and glanced around at the empty streets, all thoroughly soaked. Any people who were out and walking were damp and shivering. _

_ Ellie passed a seedy-looking bar, glancing inside. It was nearly empty, save for a couple of guys at the counter and an employee on the phone. She caught bits of his conversation as she passed. _

_ "Yes, I understand. Yes. Of course, he's been fired. Can't have felons for employees, now can we?"_

_ Ellie adjusted her jacket and continued walking down the wet sidewalk. She saw police lights in the distance. Curious, she changed directions and began walking towards them. _

_ Maybe a block from the red and blue flashing lights, a struggle could be heard. _

_ She stopped when she saw a police barricade. Something bad must've happened..._

_ Then a man came skipping out of the barricade. Ellie could hear him laughing under his breath, mumbling to himself between his hysterics. _

_ The man was lanky and handsome in the darkness, with hair that have midnight a run for its money. His coat, trimmed with fur, swung in the black of night and Ellie only recognized him when the police lights flashed on the man's familiar Cheshire Cat smirk._

_ "Izaya Orihara," Ellie sighed, "I should've known. What have you done this time?"_

_ "Why, if it isn't Elena Jacobson!" The man replied. "What brings you here at this time of night?"_

_ "Save it, Izaya. What did you do?"_

_ "Why must you always assume I did something wrong, Ellie-kun?"_

_ Ellie glared at the noir-headed informant. "Maybe because 99.9% of the time bad things happen, they're always caused by you."_

_ "Oh? And who is the other .1%?"_

_ "Usually gang members. But that isn't the point. What are you up to, Izaya?"_

_ "Oh, nothing, really~! Shizu-chan was just feeling a bit too peaceful, that's all. I just thought I'd shake things up a bit."_

_ Ellie hadn't seen Shizuo in years; judging by the smirk on Izaya's mouth, he probably hadn't changed much._

_ "Why?" the redhead mumbled. "You just confound me, Izaya. You do all these things without explanation or even reason."_

_ "Oh, silly Ellie-kun, of course I have a reason. You see, things have been getting a bit boring and I heard that Shizu-chan was beginning to do well in his life, so I simply gave him a reason to come after me again. I do enjoy gauging his reactions, as they do gauge ever so easily."_

_ "Oh, like stealing my business wasn't enough for you?"_

_ Izaya cocked his head to one side. "How interesting! I assumed it would take you much longer to figure me out."_

_ Ellie gritted her teeth. "Izaya Orihara, mark my words. Someday I will ruin you and Shizuo will run you in front of a truck. You will pay for everything that you've done."_

_ Izaya grinned. "Oh, Ellie-kun. I would so love to see you try."_

_ With that, the informant skipped away through the rain._

_ He was invincible, he was heartless, and he was cunning. Someday, Ellie swore to herself that she would change that._

_ Glancing again at the police lights, she wondered what Izaya had done to get Shizuo into so much trouble. Whatever it had been, Shizuo's job and the rest of his prior engagements had probably just been terminated._

_ At that moment, she almost walked away. She almost walked out on one very stubborn but dear old acquaintance, telling herself that nothing could be done to help him._

_ But all those years ago, she'd tried to protect Shizuo because she knew somewhere that he would be good at something. _

_ Maybe it was because of that that she called. Or maybe it was something else._

_ Whatever the reason, Ellie picked up her phone, scrolled through her contacts, and dialed the number of a very reliable business partner who owed her a favor._

_ "Hello?"_

_ "Hey, Tom, this is Ellie Jacobson. I'm calling on a solid you-owe-me."_

_ "Alright, fine. What do you need?"_

_ "Got any jobs open?"_

* * *

So, Shizuo had taken over my couch for about an hour. Which sucked because I liked sitting on it after work.

I rested my chin in my hand as I scrolled past felony listings, searching for someone who I doubted existed. Stupid gang members and their stupid want to kill people for no stupid reason.

Hibiki jumped off of my lap and scampered across the floor to where Shizuo had dubbed himself king of my couch (the asshole was laying across the whole damn thing) and prodded at him impatiently with a paw.

Shizuo brushed my cat away but the creature was persistent, finally crawling up onto the couch and curling up atop Shizuo.

"_Ginger_," he called lazily. "Get your cat off of me."

"I thought we'd agreed to ditch the nicknames, _Heiwajima-san,_" I groaned. "Deal with it yourself, I'm busy."

Busy wanting to stab myself to death. Sometimes this job was so damn tedious.

A sigh from across the room. Moments later, Shizuo placed Hibiki on top of my desk. The cat was growing bigger day by day, but he was still small enough to crawl in front of my computer without blocking the screen.

I came across the information I was looking for. "_Fuck you_!"

"Excuse me?"

"Not you," I grumbled. "I thought the slasher was history..."

Which, in hindsight, was true. The slasher attacks had stopped a good month ago. A lot of people had heard about Shizuo's battle with the Saika daughters and assumed that he was the cause of the cease in victims, but I had my own hunch.

I groaned as I punched in the last of the email about the slasher victim/gang member, adding on that I _WOULD NOT_ be addressing anything to do with the slasher in the near future, and to make sure that everyone else who called me up knew that.

"I'm finally finished," I huffed. "That took so much longer than I expected..." I ran a hand through my hair and tapped my fingertips on the wooden desk.

Hibiki licked at my hand. The light of the afternoon streaming through the plated glass windows of my apartment lit up the white lines across my arm, the only remnants of my run-in with Saika.

That, and the nightmares.

The hideous black lining of the stitches had long since been replaced with the less-hideous (but still hideous) white lines of scarring that decorated nearly half of my body.

I was pale enough that the white scar tissue didn't show up so easily on my skin, but if you looked close enough you could probably see where they stood out.

I glanced up. "Shizuo, I only have one desk."

His knuckles were white and gripping the edge of the wooden piece of furniture. The top of the desk was in mortal danger of getting completely separated from the bottom half of the cabinet; I knew it from the creaking that could be heard from the wood.

I knew I wasn't strong enough to pry his hand off, but I made an attempt anyway. Just placing my hand on top of his was enough to alert him to what he was doing.

Finger by finger, he forced himself to let go, and I stared at him.

"_Sorry_," he said, but he didn't sound sorry.

"What is with you? I thought we went over this."

"No matter how many damn times you say it, it still pisses me off."

"What, Shizuo?" I spat. "You couldn't do anything about it."

"Because I wasn't there!"

"It was my fault in the first place!"

"You went out looking for me, how is that your fault?!"

I guessed Shinra had told him that I'd been out searching for him when I got attacked, but that wasn't my current worry.

"Because I was stupid enough to think thatthe slasher wasn't some otherworldly freakshow!"

"You're the informant, you should fucking know!"

"Can we please change the subject?" I said weakly. I put my head down on my desk, trying to push away the images of red eyes and demon blades.

I'd had enough nightmares about it, and more would not do the bags under my eyes any good. Just thinking about it made me lightheaded and nauseous.

It was quiet for a moment. I tried to control my breathing.

"Sorry..." it sounded like he really meant it this time.

"It's not your fault," I

breathed, my voice rising an octave. I got up and moved towards my room, wrenching open the window and breathing in the fresh air.

I'd avoided showing my fears of Saika to Shizuo so far, but now it looked like he was getting a front row seat. Luckily this wasn't as bad as previous times.

A few weeks after the Saika incident, I'd had full-blown anxiety attacks and ended up on the floor for an hour, trying to get a handle on myself.

I couldn't exactly put my finger on the cause of it, but I had a few guesses.

Maybe it was because I was terrified of being controlled by someone else. Of not having any control over my own body. Or maybe it was just all of the bad memories it brought up.

Anyway, Saika had become one of my worst fears. Like how kids were terrified of the Boogeyman or spiders and asked Mom to check under their bed and in their closet every night before they slept.

Only I was 22, and definitely too proud of myself to check under my own bed.

When the dizziness had faded, I pulled myself back into the apartment, brushing my hair away from my face as I passed Shizuo and prepared for him to change moods.

But he'd already phased into being pissed off while I was having my freak-out, and now there was this dark cloud following me around. I didn't even have a chance to prepare myself.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled.

"Yeah, _you're_ sorry..."

"Will you stop it? This is my own problem, stop blaming yourself for every little flaw I have."

Shizuo's scowl deepened, and he sat back down on the couch. The only difference was that his carefree attitude had suddenly vanished.

I sighed and went towards the kitchen, where I pulled a carton of milk out of the fridge and poured a tall glass of it.

As I crossed back to my desk, I left it on the coffee table where it was right in Shizuo's line of vision.

I sat in my leather chair that spun and kicked my feet up over the arm, laying back on the opposite side. My boot pushed against my desk and I spun in a slow circle while I checked the current events in the newspaper I'd gotten this morning.

Nothing special in particular.

'_Hanejima Yuuhei signs on for new thriller.'_

_ 'Ikebukuro finally showing signs of peace.'_

_ 'Black Rider sightings remain constant.'_

The usual. I was slightly worried about the peace thing, though. Once Izaya saw that, he'd fall over himself to make the ruckus of the century.

I glanced over my newspaper and looked over at the couch. Shizuo had gone. I looked around and noticed that he had settled himself in the kitchen, where he was picking through the pages of a book I'd recently checked out from Millie.

I doubted he could read it, though, since it was in Mandarin Chinese...

I dropped my newspaper as I looked over again at the coffee table.

There was still a glass there. It was still full. As I'd left it. _Untouched_.

Shizuo had ignored it, showing me the ultimate in rebellion. I could just hear him saying it now.

_Like hell am I going to calm down_.

Normally, his stubborn attitude didn't bother me, but this was just ridiculous. One panic attack. Just one. And it wasn't even my worst. That's all it had taken.

I didn't understand it. That man just _confounded_ me.

What was I going to do to get him to cool down? I couldn't just sit by and watch him torture himself, especially at my expense.

Gahh, that stupid fucker knew just how to get on my damn nerves and get my attention.

I don't know why, but I thought about Ronan. I thought about that day at the library, when I'd gone in and he'd been in a pissy mood, come out and suddenly it had never happened.

I still wondered what Ronan had done. What a tiny, skinny 10-year-old could've said to a full-grown man with anger issues to change his attitude.

It might've been suicide. It might've been the biggest mistake I'd ever made. But fuck it, what were my other options?

I stood up, grabbed my keys and my cell phone, and started walking towards the door.

"The hell are you going?" he called from across the room.

"I'm going to visit my brothers," I said matter-of-factly.

"Ginger, if you think I'm letting you show your face in front of your asshole stepfather, you've got another thing coming—"

"Okay, then, Shizuo!" I exclaimed. "I won't go. But you have to tell me right now what your damn problem is."

"What?"

"Why are you suddenly so pissed off? Why are you always pissed off when it comes to me? Why were you suddenly so angry and why do you even care whether I live or die? Answer me right now, and I will not take one more step."

I stared him down fiercely. Shizuo had long since perfected the art of leering at people, but he didn't bother me.

Right now, his lips were pressed together in a thin line and I could tell he was gritting his teeth. I knew right away that he wasn't going to answer me.

"Have it your way," I spat, and stalked out the door.

Shizuo followed me in silence, head lowered and hands stuffed in his pockets. I couldn't see his expression, and he'd hidden his eyes behind his sunglasses so that I couldn't see any emotion that might've accidentally seeped through the cracks.

Which was fine by me. If he was going to be so stubborn, then whatever! Not my problem!

It didn't seem like such a long walk to the apartments on the edge of downtown, but Shizuo looked like he'd just walked from Tokyo to Osaka.

I couldn't figure out if he was exhausted with me or just exhausted with himself. Either one would give me a sour taste in my mouth.

I stalked up the stairs and sauntered down the hallway, trying to seem braver than I felt.

My bravado was gone, withered away with the fact that I would actually have to deal with one or both of my parents to get to Ronan.

I wondered why I was even doing this, going through all this trouble when Shizuo obviously didn't care enough to tell me the truth.

Asshole was lucky I cared about his feelings even an iota.

I took a labored breath and stared at the door. No turning back now.

I knocked. Seconds later, it was my mother staring back at me.

For a moment, the hope in her eyes when she stared at me knocked whatever breath I still had in me right out of my lungs.

First a Saika-induced panic attack, and now I was having flashbacks of my childhood. This was not my best day.

I kept my face as straight as I could. "Are Ronan and Luka here?"

"Yes, they're right here," she exclaimed, joy lighting up her eyes. "Won't you please come in?"

"I don't think that would be a very good idea," I said icily. "However, I would like to see them."

That's when she noticed Shizuo, and her face went pale. The next time she spoke, her voice was barely audible. "I-I'll fetch them..."

She left the door open a crack. I glanced inside.

The space was homey and warm. I felt sick seeing some of the things I'd once known in my childhood home.

Then both boys were at the door. Ronan's thin face lit up, his brown eyes sparkling. "Hi, Ellie!"

Luka, however, scrutinized me. "Hello?"

I gave him a puzzled stare. "What?"

Luka smirked that familiar way. "Ellie, there's no way you're here just to see us."

"What makes you say that?" I asked innocently.

"I may not have known you my whole life, but I know that you would've never voluntarily come in the face of our mother like that just to see us." His smirk grew in triumph. "I do my research too, you know. You want something."

I shrugged. "Smart kid. I just want to talk."

"About what?" Ronan asked meekly.

"We should probably take this somewhere a little more private. The walls have ears, you know." I glanced around, trying to come up with a quick place we could sit and speak without being interrupted. Then I remembered Shinra and Celty lived directly across the hallway.

I crossed and knocked gently on the door. Shinra opened it. "Oh, hey Ellie!"

"Hey, er, this might be awkward timing. Is Celty home?"

"Uh, no, she left early this morning. Why?"

"I wanted to ask if I could borrow your living room for a while."

Shinra looked around me and spotted Ronan and Luka. The pair gave small waves in his direction.

Shinra shrugged carelessly. "Okay."

"Thanks a bunch! I owe you one."

"Don't you always?"

Luka shouted into his own apartment, "Mom! We're going across the hallway! We'll be back in a bit!"

Then he closed the door and followed me into Shinra's apartment.

I sat down adjacent to Ronan and Luka. Shizuo exited into a different room, and Shinra followed. He'd noticed Shizuo's attitude as well.

I was partially glad, because I didn't want Shizuo to know that I technically wasn't directly asking for his feelings.

"I wanted to talk to you," I told Ronan carefully.

Ronan nodded easily.

"Did you see that blonde guy with the glasses?" I asked.

"Mister Heiwajima? Of course!" Ronan beamed. "He's _soooo_ cool."

"Well, he and I are sort of... Er, friends. He's been acting strange for a while. I wanted to ask you what you did to him that day at the library down the street to make him act normal again."

I half expected him to answer right away. But suddenly, I wasn't looking at my little brother. I was looking at a different person. It seemed almost like Ronan had taken on a whole new personality.

He laughed and put a finger to his lips. "Can't tell. I'm sworn to secrecy."

"'Sworn to secrecy?' What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly that. Boys don't like to talk about their feelings any more than girls do."

"Can you expound on that?"

"Well, Mister Heiwajima is kind of a complex guy. He's got a lot of issues with himself and with other people, and what he feels is sort of extreme. Too extreme for some people, I think you especially."

"Me?" I braced myself for the initial shock, but all I felt was hurt. Basically, Ronan was telling me that Shizuo don't trust me enough to tell me what was going on. What he was feeling. And that sort of offended me.

"That's irrational," I heard myself say. "He's said himself, what he's been through in the past doesn't exactly match up to what I've endured. How could I not understand?"

But Ronan sighed. "No, you don't get it. It's not connected to the past at all. It's connected to right now, and it hurts every day in different ways."

"He could've just said something," I mumbled.

In my mind, I was going through all sorts of things. Skimming through recollections and memories and things. Trying to figure out if there was something I had missed.

I started thinking again about that day at the library. When I'd seen Ronan and Luka walking back home and I'd noticed the differences between them just then. Now, it was so much more prominent.

I could understand now: they were like two halves of a whole person.

Luka was the intellectual, the left brain, with the smarts and the common sense and the ability to observe and record.

Ronan was the empathetic, the right brain, with the understanding of humans and what they feel. He could create and destroy and understand all within himself.

At least I could put together something.

Although I remained puzzled, I mumbled a thank you to Ronan. "If I wanted to try to understand, how do you think I could?"

Ronan sounded about a thousand years old when he answered.

"You _can't_."

* * *

**I'm going to see Monsters University finally! Yay! I guess the police came and asked around about the drunk guy, because it's been too noisy outside for me to go to sleep. Anyways, I hope you don't mind, but from here on, the story is going to get a bit deeper. **

**And I remembered what I was going to say last chapter! In case anyone has room to judge, even though I always appreciate constructive criticism, this story is mine to do what I want with and I will bend it however I want. No one has mentioned it so far, but I have added on and condensed an left out parts that were in the anime, and I've also rearranged parts of the manga to fit the story. For future reference, I'm aware of it and I DO WHAT I WANT YO. **

**Sorry for the sour ending note. I'm working on the next chapter, though, if it's any consolation~**

**Thanks for reading!**

See ya ;D

-Eibon


	15. Heartbreaker

**Hello again, my faithful Fanfiction followers! **

**ehheehalliterationehehehhe**

**I've been slightly busy in the past few days, what with the thing we Americans call 4th of July (where I bake crap for three days and my siblings spend three and a half minutes eating it all) and people get drunk and blast Party in the USA all night, etc. etc. etc. You know the drill.**

**Now that I've used up all my freedom for the year, here's another chapter! I spent some extra time carefully wording most of this (gonna be really sad if it here are any typos), because this is when shit definitely goes down and heads (preferably small blonde and Russian) will go flying.**

***coughincaseyouhaventnoticedireallyhatevoronacough ***

**WELL ENJOY.**

* * *

_ Ellie's mood lightened the day she went back to Tom Tanaka's debt collection business for a permanent contract. _

_ They'd known each other in middle school for a year or two, and now they were going to be business partners? What luck!_

_ Since Ellie's run in with Izaya Orihara, business had been getting worse. She'd almost lost her apartment before Tom's boss from the bank had called on her to become a partner of their agency. _

_ She woke up, actually excited for once, and readied herself to make a good impression. She was not going to mess this up!_

_ The address Tom had given her was quite the distance from her small apartment, but Ellie didn't mind. Things were starting to look up, and maybe she could afford get a new apartment after this._

_ She rode up the elevator in silence, tapping her foot to the elevator music, which was a tacky but catchy song by a pop artist she'd heard a couple times before, some rising star named Ruri. _

_ Ellie assumed a look of confidence as she stepped out of the elevator, walking down the hall towards the marked room she would speak with Tom's boss in. _

_ A breath as she opened the door._

_ She stepped inside, standing firmly. Ellie moved to shake Tom's boss' hand; he was an older guy with a reddish face and graying hair. "Hello, my name is Elena Jacobson. I'm very eager to assist the growth of your company."_

_ "Thank you, Elena. We're happy to have you here. Might I just give you the run-down of your job?"_

_ "Of course."_

_ He pushed a paper towards her, which Ellie assumed was a contract. _

_ "Most often, you'll be called in only when work is required. This will include client information, location of those who have broken their contract, and recording of new clients as well as the flushing of old. I trust you're familiar with Tom Tanaka?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "He will be the one to call you for assistance, when you will report for work, et cetera."_

_ "Yes, I understand," Ellie replied, jotting down her signature where it was indicated. "How soon will I start?"_

_ "As soon as Tom requires your assistance."_

_ "Great. I'll see you then."_

_ Ellie stood up, shook hands with Tom's boss, and smiled as she exited the room. _

_ Ellie was so happy, she felt like skipping home. _

_ As she exited the building again, she laughed out loud. What a perfect start to the day!_

_ "Hey, Ellie!"_

_ She turned and saw Tom walking towards her with a very familiar man at his side._

_ She recognized him immediately. Still tall, still blonde, and still scowling, it was Shizuo Heiwajima. _

_ Her face twisted into a smirk. If only he knew that she had been the one to technically give him a job after the Izaya escapade. _

_ "How'd it go?" Tom asked._

_ "I think it went well, boss."_

_ "That's great! Welcome aboard!"_

_ "Thanks!" Ellie laughed. She looked towards Shizuo and maintained her smile. "Hey, Shizuo. Long time no see."_

_ "Yeah..." he trailed off, adjusting his sunglasses that Ellie assumed were part of the tough-guy look he'd taken on._

_ "It's good to see you again," she said, trying to stay on the good end of his attitude. She didn't know if his breaking point had changed, but she wasn't about to test it. _

_ "...likewise."_

_ "So, uh, anyways, what have you been up to, Tom?"_

_ "First day on the job," he replied. "Collecting debts, and stuff..." He jabbed his thumb towards Shizuo. "Shizuo's my bodyguard."_

_ Ellie laughed, though she didn't know why. "That's awesome."_

_ Tom gave her a look, like depends on how you look at it._

_ "So, er, I should probably get going. I'm currently trying to get back at Izaya for my client shortage last week."_

_ "Izaya Orihara?"_

_ "Unfortunately. He'll be quite disappointed when he finds out that his ten cell phones are missing."_

_ Ellie waved goodbye and sauntered off towards the train station, hoping to catch one to Shinjuku. _

_ She hoped Shizuo was grateful for his new job, because he definitely hadn't been looking at her the whole time she and Tom had been talking._

_ Ellie wondered why that bothered her._

* * *

Why do I have to be such a handicap when it comes to emotional problems? When God was making me, did he just knock over the jar of Incompetence and be like, "Oops?"

First I couldn't figure out why Shizuo was always so much more pissed off when he was around me, and now I couldn't even see the meaning in the words of my own brother.

It bothered me. I didn't like being in the dark. That's why I worked as an informant.

I've said this a lot, but knowledge is power, and I _fucking like_ power.

I spent Tuesday mulling it over, trying to at least piece some of it together.

It was oddly quiet, which I didn't actually notice for a while. I just sat and stared at my empty computer screen, where I wouldn't have anything to distract me while my mind was running wild.

It was then that I noticed that the apartment itself wasn't so much as quiet; I was the quiet one.

Usually, I could hear my keyboard keys tapping and maybe even the quiet voices of the TV that Shizuo sometimes turned on out of boredom.

Now there was silence, and it was slightly uncomfortable. Unusual.

On the bright side, I could actually hear myself think.

That's when I noticed Shizuo glaring at me from across the room.

It took me a bit to realize that he wasn't actually glaring at me, just staring at me in an extremely focused manner. Scrutinizing, almost.

"What are you doing?" I asked in confusion.

"Trying to figure out what you're thinking."

"Oh, er... Just stuff."

He squinted at me. "Stuff?"

"...yeah..."

How was I supposed to deal with this? Normally, I'd blow it off right away, but now I was determined to figure out the truth... I'd already put this off for too long, and I refused to push it away any longer. Shizuo was being nice enough to tolerate me and sit around watching my sorry ass like some babysitter and the least I could do in return was fix up his emotional issues.

Starting from square one: Ronan had said that what Shizuo felt "hurt every day."

Well, he didn't _look_ so hurt to me...

Maybe he was just good at hiding it. I'm pretty good at hiding my feelings half the time, I'd expect him to be even better at it with all that scowling he did. I don't think I'd ever seen him sad or happy. Just pissed off on different levels, usually ranging from sort of calm to ready to kill something.

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Huh?" The question shook me out of my trance. "What does that mean?"

"It means just that," Shizuo huffed, annoyed. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah... I'm feeling fine." I tried to keep my tone smooth, unsure of what he was going to do in the next few seconds. Maybe change moods or something. He did that sometimes without warning.

It felt like he was scrutinizing me further. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," I replied.

He got up and stood in front of my desk, then did something I didn't expect.

_ He felt my forehead_.

What, did he think I was sick or something?

"I'm fine, all right?" I snapped, jerking away from his touch.

Shizuo stuck his hands in his pockets. "You're not acting like yourself..."

"I'm fine," I said a little quieter. "How do you feel?"

He cocked his head to the side, almost bewildered. "Never been better...?"

"Okay..."

There was more awkward silence. Sure I wasn't always quiet, but how was I not acting like myself? I felt just fine; I was lost in thought, that was all...

And he had "never been better?" That didn't add up much. If he was "hurt every day," then I couldn't add anything else together except that it was another big mystery.

Then again, Ronan had also said that "it hurt in different ways." That was a whole new piece of the puzzle.

Fucking _men_. And they say women are hard to figure out.

I jumped a little when my phone caused tremors in my desk from its buzzing. I picked it up. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson, how may I be of service?"

"Hey, Ellie."

"Hey, Tom," I sighed. "What's up?"

"You sound stressed."

I gave a weak laugh. "Oh, you have no idea."

"Do you and Shizuo mind heading over for a while? I've got a couple of jobs that I need Shizuo for and there's some work for you, too."

"Okay," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "We'll be right over."

I hanged up and grabbed my keys. "Tom wants us to go meet him."

"...all right."

"Will you relax? I'm feeling fine," I pressed. "I'm just... deep in thought, that's all."

"Whatever you say..."

Shizuo and I walked side-by-side to the tax building. It was quiet between us, but luckily the street noise made it a lot more bearable.

I couldn't focus on anything; I was too busy wracking my brain for any more details I'd miraculously forgotten over the course of the morning.

This wasn't like me, I realized. I was often on top of things the moment yet happened and even more often, I remembered every detail of everything. Had my brain just shut down?

Or, rather, shut out?

Suddenly, I was sitting on the ground and there was a dark-haired man with electric blue eyes sitting across from me.

"O-Oh! I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going!" he stuttered, cheeks blossoming red.

I think Shizuo had gone on ahead without me, because I couldn't see him anymore.

"That's all right," I mumbled. "I wasn't paying any attention either."

"Hey," he said, "you're that informant! Ellie-something, right?"

"Jacobson," I said quietly.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's you! My name's Ashton Tagewa! It's great to meet you!"

He stuck out his hand in hello, and I was going to remind him that we were both still on the ground, but then he stopped mid-greeting and looked me up and down.

"Hey... You're kinda pretty."

"_K-Kinda_?" I asked, bewildered, and then Shizuo suddenly heaved me off the ground.

"I thought you walked away," I said under my breath.

"I thought you were following me," he replied. "When you weren't, I went back looking for you."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Ashton jumped up off the ground. "Whoa, Shizuo Heiwajima! You're the coolest, man!"

"Uh... Thanks..."

"We... should... er... Probably get going," I said just loud enough for him to hear.

"Oh, I'm sorry for holding you up! Have a good rest of your day!"

Then Ashton marched away, a navy scarf around his throat billowing out behind him.

"That was odd," I said.

"...tell me about it, Shizuo mumbled. Then he took me by the arm and pulled me along the street. The grip he had on me wasn't as rough as I expected. It was actually kind of _gentle_.

As I was processing this, he let me go and we were in front of the tax building. I hadn't been paying attention long enough to notice. _Again_.

We both took the stairs this time, which was weird to me. Shizuo usually took the elevator to avoid being in the same place with me, since we both had deemed it awkward when the both of us went the same way.

Upstairs, Shizuo opened the door to Tom's office and let me in. He didn't usually do that.

"Thanks," I mumbled. He was acting pretty strange, too.

The only one inside was Vorona, who was lounging across Tom's desk chair.

"Hey, Shizuo," she said cooly. Then she noticed me. "Tom's in the other room, ginger. He wants to chat with you."

For the first time today, my mind stopped. Every singular thought I'd had throughout the course of the day just disappeared and all I could think about was the word that had just slipped out of Vorona's mouth.

I gritted my teeth. "Vorona, if you value your life, do _not_ call me that."

It was one thing when Shizuo called me by that nickname as a lazy or playful thing, when he didn't want to call my by my real name or was deliberately trying to get on my nerves. Or just in general, because it was familiar and more comfortable than an honorific. I'd subconsciously reserved it for him and mentally noted that it would always be him calling me by it. This time it wasn't.

Vorona was using it, and she was using it as a derogatory term; that wasn't okay with me.

"What's the problem?" Vorona asked smoothly. "Shizuo calls you that all the time."

I glared ahead, boring into her eyes with my own. This was the glare I'd reserved for someone who was asking for it, the deathly kind. "You're _not_ Shizuo."

She thought she had some kind of ownership over me. Because she was technically in league with Shizuo, she thought that she could do whatever she wanted and get away with it. Because I was technically friends with Shizuo to the point that we could say or do whatever we wanted to the other without trouble, she assumed she had the same right. She thought that I would lay down and take it the same way I would if Shizuo was being a bother.

Like _hell_.

I'd stunned Vorona successfully into silence. I scowled as I turned and left the room, shutting the door behind me and walking across the hall to Tom's boss' office.

It was just Tom inside, and he was on the phone.

"I'll call you back," he said to the person on the other end when I walked in. "What's up?"

"The usual," I sighed. "How about you?"

"My boss is away in a business meeting on Hokkaido, so I'm in charge."

"You don't sound too excited."

"Well his job isn't exactly fun."

"I get it," I said. "So, what do you need me to do?"

Tom handed me a briefcase. "That's got the latest client information in it. A few need to be updated, but most of them need to be registered."

"Sounds good to me." I took the briefcase in both hands and brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

"So, er..." Tom trailed off.

"What?" I asked.

"Is having Shizuo around, er... Helping? You know, with your, uh, family issues?"

"I guess you could say that," I mumbled. I wasn't sure if I should be offended by the "family issues" comment.

"Well, that's... Good news."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I think I'll crack down on this now." I tapped on the briefcase.

"That sounds good..."

"Do you want me to send Shizuo in?"

"Sure."

Awkwardly, I exited the office and decided that today was just not one of my best days.

I lugged the briefcase back down the hallway and turned the knob to the door, telling myself that the day couldn't possibly get any stranger or more awkward or even worse to the point where I would finally break.

I was wrong.

My fingers suddenly didn't work; the briefcase dropped and hit the floor with a loud smacking noise. Vorona let go of Shizuo's collar and peeled herself away from him, staring at me like I'd just dropped an atomic bomb rather than a heavy briefcase. Staring at me like I hadn't just seen her kiss Shizuo.

The second Shizuo opened his mouth, I knew he was going to try and calm me down, but I interrupted him. "If you both don't mind, I have work to do. So if you'd kindly take your... Association with each other to somewhere where I won't be forced to watch, I'd really appreciate it."

My voice sounded tranquil, but inside I was burning. I was seeing red. I wanted to wrap my hands around Vorona's throat and _squeeze_ until there was no room for oxygen. I wanted to tear the switchblade from my boot and _slice_ it a hundred times across her so she would have dozens of white scars to match mine. I wanted to steal some of Shizuo's strength and _bury_ her under a city bus.

But I didn't understand why. I didn't understand why I was so angry.

All I knew was that I wanted the both of them out and away from my sight.

"Can I explain—"

"No," I snapped," you've '_explained_' quite enough, Shizuo. Tom wants to talk to you about what you'll be doing today, so I suggest you go and see him before I escort you out myself."

I could see his eyes widen. I'd _never_ threatened him before.

"And _you_," I looked at Vorona, my fingers suddenly fully functional and curling into fists. "Если вы оказались здесь еще один момент, сволочь Земли, я научу вас смысл страдания."

The Russian had flown out of my mouth before I could've restrained it, but I'd long since ditched my care for those tedious things.

Moments before, Vorona's eyes had shone with triumph. Cold-blooded, triumphant _revenge_, even. Because she wasn't Shizuo, but she could do whatever she wanted with him. Because I was just his friend and now she'd taken her relationship with him to another level.

Blonde. Sporty. Beautiful. Add control over male race to the list of things I despised about her.

Vorona had backed right out of the room and into the hallway. I'd ripped the triumph out of the very recesses of her soul and injected fear into the empty chasm it'd left behind.

I glared at Shizuo. "Get out."

"Wait a minute—"

"I said _get out_."

When he opened his mouth again, I placed my hands on his back and forced him out of the room, slamming it behind him.

He didn't come back in. For the first time ever, I think I'd surprised Shizuo. Shocked him, even.

I didn't care. I was too busy with my thoughts again.

I'd always despised Vorona. Hated her with a burning passion. I could never understand exactly why (I'd had little petty reasons before, but nothing exactly worth hating her for on a practical level), and now that this had happened I'd been driven beyond hatred. For a moment, I'd been planning her death.

I sat down in Tom's desk chair and ran a hand through my hair.

All this crap happening in one morning and I couldn't understand any of it.

Then something dawned on me. For the first time all day, even through all my scarlet rage, I pieced something together. Maybe not something as seemingly huge and revealing as I'd hoped, but something very _very_ important.

I wasn't angry.

I was _jealous_.

* * *

** *awkward nervous laugh* So if you haven't noticed I reeeeeeeally hate Vorona X Shizuo (Almost as much as I hate Shizaya please don't kill me yaoi lovers but seriously if Izaya ever tried to kiss Shizuo I'm pretty sure Shizuo would crush his skull I mean what part of hate do you not get) and I kind of expressed that through Ellie *awkward nervous laugh***

**And the guy with the scarf? Ashton (Courtesy of my lovely friend Tristan)? Remember him, because he will be important~!**

**Next chapter, things will be angsty and revealing. And all my Izellie shippers out there, I estimate two or three more chapters until your fanservice. You can rest well, lovelies.**

**And the Russian (Courtesy of Google Translate) translates to "If you are here one more moment, you scum of the earth, I will teach you the meaning of suffering." Fun fact about Ellie, she asked Simon for a crash course in Russian because she wanted to be able to remark at Izaya in Russian since he spoke it fluently, and sometimes used it against her and she got tired of not knowing what to reply with... So she's almost fluent in Russian.**

**Anyways, it's like 1:30 in the morning so I should probably sleep because I actually have to do something tomorrow DX**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	16. Ripped

**Hey guysssss. So I'm not sure what to say for this introduction other than I've been really bored and tired recently. It's summer, so I'm obviously going to screw with my sleeping schedule...**

**Also I'm kind of concerned because my brother says he's going to start reading this and Tim if you're reading this right now please don't judge me TT-TT**

**Well enjoy I guess...!**

* * *

_Ellie patted some tape over the top of the box, groaning as she sat down._

_ She'd finally gathered up enough money to move to a nicer apartment, and she'd spent all day packing up her current place. _

_ As glad as she was to be moving out of the shoebox, packing it up was a total bitch. And she had done it alone, which was much harder._

_ Ellie picked up her laptop and set it on top of her lap as she checked her phone. Nothing work-related, but there was a text from a blocked number. _

_ "Want to join the Dollars?__** [link] **__Pass: Baccano"_

_ She'd heard of the Dollars a couple times, whispers and anecdotes about the "colorless" color gang that was slowly beginning to spread over Ikebukuro by means of the Internet. _

_ At first, she thought of deleting the text and completely ignoring it, but curiosity overwhelmed her._

_ What would entering into that link bring her?_

_ So she clicked the link. _

_ It brought her to a black page with a small login bar beneath a multicolored circle that had been labeled "Dollars"._

_ Ellie typed in the password and she was brought to a homepage that listed the username of every single Dollars member there was._

_ Then she spotted her own user, "Yei," and deduced that maybe she really had just joined the Dollars._

_ Interesting, she thought. Then she opened up a box in the chatroom._

_** [[YEI LOGGED IN]]**_

_ Yei: Sup?_

_ Taro Tanaka: Hi, Yei! Are you new to this room? I don't recognize your user._

_ Yei: I guess you could say that. _

_ Kanra: Welcome aboard~_

_ Yei: Thanks._

_ Ellie's eyes scrolled across the previous conversation. It looked like they'd been chatting about the turf wars._

_ Yei: I read the older entries. What's this about the gang wars?_

_ Kanra: Haven't you heard, Yei? The Blue Squares and that new color gang The Yellow Scarves are getting in a pretty big tussle._

_ Yei: No, I've heard... I was just wondering why you guys are bothering to talk about it._

_ Kanra: I think it's interesting._

_ Taro Tanaka: Well, I don't live in Ikebukuro but it's always exciting to know things about different places._

_ Yei: I see. I wouldn't really call it exiting. Sometimes I can see them going at it outside my bedroom window._

_ Taro Tanaka: Wow, that is kind of scary!_

_ Yei: Right? I'm moving to a new place tomorrow, so I'm hoping I won't have to worry about it anymore._

_ Kanra: Oh, where are you going Yei? _

_ Yei: I'm staying in Ikebukuro, just moving out of the little hole I've lived in for a while. I've bunched up enough money to move somewhere bigger and nicer over in downtown._

_ Kanra: Ooh. I live in Shinjuku. Maybe we could meet in real life sometime!_

_ Yei: Yeah, sounds cool._

_ Taro Tanaka: I've been wondering about moving to Ikebukuro._

_ Yei: You might want to wait until all of the gang crap blows over._

_ Taro Tanaka: That might be a good idea._

_ Kanra: Weeeeell~ I should get going! I have to get up early tomorrow._

_ Yei: Okay then. Nice to meet you._

_ Taro Tanaka: Have a nice day, Kanra!_

_** [[KANRA LOGGED OUT]]**_

_ Yei: I might get going, too. Moving out tomorrow, y'know?_

_ Taro Tanaka: I understand. Hope to hear from you again, Yei!_

_ Yei: You too._

_** [[YEI LOGGED OUT]]**_

_ Ellie continued to scroll through the Dollars homepage, interested in this new thing. _

_ She never knew, anyways. Maybe being a member of the Dollars would come in handy._

* * *

I turned the nozzle on the shower counterclockwise, hoping that the scalding water might keep me awake.

The previous day, I'd spent walking around alone and trying to cope with my feelings.

On top of that, there was something big going on with the Dollars, because its leader had called a huge meeting in the middle of downtown last night.

I still had the message on my phone, telling me that anyone not looking at their phone was an "enemy" and to stare at them.

It was interesting. The first major meeting of the Dollars I'd witnessed.

I'd stayed up the entire night researching about the Dollars in general, and also because I couldn't sleep for obvious reasons.

I was still pissed at Shizuo. Still jealous. Still wanting to murder Vorona.

I had given up on trying to figure out why I was jealous and decided keep my distance and save explanations for after I'd gotten over it. Being a stupid typical heroine that stays home and cries about her problems just isn't my _thing_.

I sighed and let the water run over my face, ignoring the burning sensation that probably meant that the top layer of my skin was history.

Whatever. I didn't care. If it could burn away thoughts and memories, that was even better.

After standing in the downpour of hot water for maybe half an hour and toweling off, I dressed myself and stood at the window behind my desk to watch the sun rise.

The streets below were completely empty, save for those two or three people crawling home from the night shift. It was a comfortable kind of quiet.

My phone said it was nearing 6 AM, the usual time the sun rose in late winter, early spring.

So far, I'd been awake for 21 hours and counting, and that searing hot shower had shocked the drowsiness right out of me.

Good. A lot of me didn't want to sleep. I was sick of the nightmares.

I tied up my damp hair in a ponytail, leaving my bangs hanging free instead of restricting them like I often did.

They were as long as my cheekbones now; I decided that I would trim them when they passed my nose.

When I'd started living with Celty and Shinra, my hair was neat and slightly waved and cut into a short, almost bobbed state. There were little places where I'd had bangs before and grown them out, but not usually a wavy hair out of place.

I'd decided to change my look, so I'd asked Celty if she would cut me some bangs. For a headless woman, it wasn't too shabby. Shinra sometimes complained about "how choppy" my new hair was, but I personally liked it. My "choppy" hair grew out to just look messy, which often reflected how I felt. I hid behind my bangs, shied away from the world and pushed it back only when it pushed me.

Today, I felt like shying away from the world, so I was giving my bangs some freedom.

When the sun had fully risen into the sky and signs of life began showing on the streets of Ikebukuro, I decided to get out of the house for a while. Out my window, I could see a Starbucks tucked into the corner between the East Exit and the park. It was early enough for me to beat the morning rush, which sounded good to me.

I grabbed my keys and my pullover from where I'd tossed it on my bed, leaving a note for when Yori arrived just in case she wondered where I'd gone.

The hallways were empty, as always, and I was sort of glad that I hadn't run into Shizuo. I'd never been sure of when he got to my place in the morning, but it had to be early because he was always there before I woke up. Today was not a day I wanted him I be around me.

I crossed the street slowly, breathing in the cool air. A pin could've dropped all the way across the city and I would've heard it.

After I got my coffee, I moved towards Sunshine. Downtown, I was in danger of being pursued since Shizuo could probably have seen me out of his apartment window.

I ended up in a comic book store, browsing out of boredom. I'd somehow remembered how Naomi and I would read mangas in junior high and used that as a comfortable medium.

Thinking about my friends who had always been there kind of settled my brain. Friends who wouldn't just suddenly suck face with a Russian snake.

Then my phone started ringing. I checked my caller ID, which said the number was restricted. So I picked up. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson, how may I be of service?"

"Good morning, Elena."

"Good morning, Awakusu-san."

"I'm dealing with a very important matter having to do with the gang wars today... Would you mind keeping an eye on my daughter?"

"Of course, it's no trouble. Where should I pick her up?"

"I've sent her to Sunshine street to wait for you."

"All right."

"Thank you again."

"You're very welcome."

As I hanged up, I wondered why Akane's father would dirty his hands with color gangs. Akane had always said that he'd mentioned how lowlife they were, how they didn't deserve to be called 'gangs.'

I guess he would know... Technically he was a top-of-the-line mob boss himself.

I exited the store and crossed the street again.

Only a few people had trickled out onto Sunshine Street, so it was easy to find Akane's small black bob haircut on the corner.

"Hi Ellie," Akane greeted me happily.

"You're pretty peppy this morning," I commented.

"Why? Is that weird?"

"Not in particular, I just didn't really expect you to be so chipper this early."

"I'm not a morning person at all, but I try to act like one," she replied with a smile. "Soooo, what are we gonna do today?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"Hmmm..."

I didn't hear Akane's answer, my phone was too busy buzzing again. I checked the caller ID and stuck my phone back in my pocket, ignoring the call. I didn't feel like talking to Shizuo.

"Ellie, didn't you hear me?"

"What? Oh, er, could you repeat that?"

Akane giggled. "You've definitely got something on your mind today~! Can we go and visit Shizuo-senpai?"

I sighed. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

Akane tipped her head to the side. "How come?"

"Well, uh," I muttered. "Shizuo and I are kind of, um, having some... _issues_."

"Issues? Are you guys fighting or something?"

"Well, sort of."

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said.

"Huh? How come? Did Shizuo-senpai do something and you're mad at him? Or is Shizuo-senpai not talking to you or something?"

"No, it's not that—"

"Or maybe you're both mad at each other? Or somebody said something so you're both rethinking everything—"

"Akane!" I exclaimed. "That's enough, I'll tell you, just stop talking!"

"Okay..."

I sighed. Should've known better, Akane was the master of getting what she wanted. She'd tipped me off with that devious little grin of hers. "Do you know that Russian woman, Vorona? The one that works with Shizuo?"

"The blonde lady? Yeah, I remember her..."

"Well, yesterday, Shizuo and I were at work and I went to talk to Tom, then when I came back I caught him kissing Vorona."

Akane stuck her tongue out. "Eeeew."

"This is serious, Akane," I complained.

"Okay, okay, so what's the problem? Are you mad at Shizuo-senpai?"

"Yes—no... I don't know!"

"Why?"

"I... Don't know..."

"Ellie, you're really smart! I know that you know!"

"Fine, maybe I was sort of jealous..."

"Huh? That's weird!"

"Wha—why is it weird?"

Akane rested her chin on her hand. "Well, I kinda thought he liked you."

"What?"

Before Akane could answer or I could react differently, a commotion began in the middle of the street.

It was right at the peak of when people were rushing through to get to work or were heading down to get a head start on the arcades and shops that lined the streets. The scramble amongst the throng of people in the street was more than noticeable.

A bunch of guys, all ganging up on a different guy in a school uniform. Not one that I recognized, but he was still of high-school age. Part of me was going to ignore it, but then I saw the yellow articles of clothing on said bunch of guys and decided that I hadn't wailed on some Yellow Scarves in a while.

"Stay here, Akane," I told her quickly and got up, pushing through the crowds of people trying to get away.

I snapped my switchblade open and sliced the yellow bandanas off of two of the boy's attackers, catching another one by the hood.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

He scowled at me. "Hey man, stay out of this!"

"Tell me!" I exclaimed, and brandished my knife at him.

"Okay, okay! This guy here's in the Dollars!"

"Dollars?" I asked, and I was suddenly tugged away from the Yellow Scarves member by another of the group who had been attacking the boy.

"What's the big idea? No chick's going to do anything to stop us!"

"Why are you attacking that boy?"

"Cuz he's from the Dollars, doesn't get any clearer than that!"

He charged towards me and I spun around him, catching my knife on his yellow hat and pushing through to the boy.

I knocked a couple of Scarves back physically, scoring a couple slices from my knife on some area of their bodies to show them that I wasn't afraid.

I pulled the boy up. "Get out of here, kid, find somewhere safe to go and a doctor to handle those bruises."

The boy cradled his purple cheek in his hand and nodded at me, breaking away through the crowd of people who were still watching the brawl.

Then suddenly a couple of guys grabbed my arms and pulled me back. I was going to knock them away, but then I realized that they weren't gang members. They were cops.

"Hey, _hey_!" One of them said, getting off of his motorcycle. "You're all under arrest!"

"Arrest?" I asked. "On what grounds?"

He pointed at me stiffly. "You for that knife—" at the gang members, "—and you for assault."

Someone put hand cuffs on me, and I didn't dare struggle because there was no telling what police would do to me if I did.

I was stuck on the back of the strict cop's motorcycle, and he drove off with a couple of police cars behind him.

I stared at the back of his head for a while, wondering if glaring hard enough would put a hole in his skull.

This was really stupid, considering that I legally had the knife and my attempt at heroics could be counted as self-defense. I really hoped that this sorry excuse for a police officer would take me before someone who actually knew what they were doing.

No offense to him in particular, but I'm pretty sure that the Japanese justice system was sucking even more as the days went by.

When he stopped at the police station downtown, he pulled me off of the motorcycle and hauled me into a room with no windows.

"_Look_," I said monotonously, "I'm supposed to be looking after this little girl, and her dad's going to get real pissed if he finds out I got arrested for no good reason."

"I recognize you, red. You're the Jacobson gal that helps out the gangs and criminals. Maybe pulling out that blade of yours isn't exactly worthy of jail but I could put you behind bars for working the way you do, _informant_."

"I sell information to anyone who wants it," I said matter-of-factly. "I'm all within the laws you monkeys set up.

"Hah! That would only be if you sold information to the government, but you don't. You sell your information to confessed criminals."

"You jackasses do nothing but drive around on your motorcycles, leering at people to make it seem like you're doing something!" I exclaimed. "Like _hell_ do you ask for any information!"

"You'd better watch that mouth, red," he growled, pointing that same stiff finger at me. "It could get you into a lot of trouble."

"I should hope so, it's never let me down before."

The doorknob wiggled and another cop stepped into the windowless room; this one was a regular-looking guy with no motorcycle helmet and startlingly green eyes. "We've got the others in the next room, Kuzuhara. I'll take it from here."

Mr. Motorcycle, or Kuzuhara, or whatever, gave me the _'I'm watching you' _hand signal. I gave a sarcastic smile to him in return, and he stalked out of the room.

The regular-looking policeman sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I'm so sorry, I know this is a big misunderstanding. Unfortunately, Kuzuhara is the guy in charge so you might have to call someone to get you out of here..."

"No problem, just call my boss," I said. "What's the deal with that guy, anyways?"

"He was brought in not too long ago to capture the Black Rider... He's known for going to insane lengths to get his man even if it means causing wrecks or anything of the sort. He's extremely persistent."

"Sounds like a lovely guy," I groaned.

"You have no idea..." The policeman came around and unlocked my handcuffs, which I'd just noticed were really tight. "If you don't mind, could you write down your boss' number to give Kuzuhara something to glare at while I call?"

"No problem," I sighed, scribbling down Tom's cell phone number on a scrap of paper the policeman had given me. "Is selling information really a crime?"

"In some cases," he admitted, "but my wife once did business with you, and it saved her life. So I'm letting you off the hook."

"...thanks."

"I'll be right back," was all he said, and left the room.

That gave me an appropriate amount of time to think about things.

Why would Yellow Scarves be attacking people? Dollars members specifically? And in broad daylight?

Perplexing, but also kind of interesting. I promised myself that I'd research it when I got back.

Then, there was Akane. I hoped she knew to wait until I could go back to Sunshine and get her... But what she'd said earlier was confusing.

_ "I thought he liked you?" _

That couldn't be right, what she'd been implying was absurd.

Shizuo couldn't possibly...

_Like..._

Me...?

But then, wouldn't everything make sense?

He always got so angry when I did something dangerous. Ronan had said that his feelings had involved me. That it "hurt every day and was connected to right now."

_ It all made sense now._

And it had taken me this damn long to figure it out.

Which just pissed me off even more. Because he "_liked me_" but he'd kissed Vorona.

And that led me to conclude _something else._

The door opened steadily and Kuzuhara stood there with his arms crossed. "...you're free to go, red."

"_Thank you_," I said sweetly, prancing past him.

Kuzuhara scowled and slammed the door. The nice policeman escorted me out of the building.

He smiled at me as he watched me walk away. "Sorry you had to get all mixed up in this. Have a good day, miss."

I gave a slight wave as he left my line of sight, and then began on my way towards Sunshine again. I hoped his wife was doing well.

My phone buzzed, and I picked it up on reflex. I didn't realize that I hadn't checked the caller ID until it was too late. "Hello, you've reached Elena Jacobson. How may I be of service?"

"Uh, Ellie..." Tom's voice came through on the other side. "Why did I just get a call from the cops?"

"There was a fight in the middle of the street," I answered fervently. "I got involved to try and protect the guy who was getting attacked, and the cops showed up. I was arrested by a newbie."

"Ah. So, false alarm?"

"Yep."

"I should warn you, then. Shizuo's out somewhere looking for you and I think he means business."

"Oh, _lovely_," I groaned.

"So, just be on your guard, okay? He's pretty pissed off."

"So am I," I mumbled under my breath. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Don't mention it."

Tom and I exchanged goodbyes and I wanted to scream.

Shizuo was still doing what he did best. _Worrying_ over me.

Maybe he should go worry over _Vorona_ instead...

My heart sank when I made it back to Sunshine and I saw Shizuo sitting with Akane.

They looked like they were talking; Akane was smiling and even Shizuo looked peaceful. At least, until he spotted me. Then it was like we'd suddenly fallen into the fifth circle of Hell.

His expression was dark when he made it to me. I'd barely had time to make a break for it. "Are you fucking _insane_?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I exclaimed defensively.

"You can't just go around getting arrested!"

"Are you kidding me?! You got arrested for something you didn't do once, is it so hard to believe that the same thing happened to me?"

"...fucking gave me a heart attack..."

"Oh, so I worried you?" I growled. "There's a _shocker_!"

"What?!"

"I don't understand why you should even care about me, let alone worry about me after all you've done..."

"Are you still on that? I've tried to tell you, it didn't mean anything—"

"So it didn't mean anything but you did it anyway? Great alibi, Shizuo, it's fucking _foolproof_!"

"It wasn't my—"

"Just save it," I hissed, "you're so intent on being over my shoulder every second, being there at every moment so you can "protect me" from shit that rarely ever happens! Well, you can protect my body all you want but you never seem to protect my feelings! You're constantly stomping all over them like they mean nothing to you!"

"Wha—what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means just that," I grumbled. "It took me longer than a month to figure out what was going on with you, and now it's time for you to open _your_ damn eyes. You can come find me when you figure out '_what I mean._'"

I turned tail and stalked off through the sidestreets, straight home and straight away from everything.

I'd deal with Akane and everything later. Shizuo would probably watch her, anyways...

When I got home, Yori was feeding Hibiki.

"Oh, hello," she said when I walked in. "How was your morning?"

"I've had better," I said honestly. I was going to say that I would get over it eventually, but at that point I wasn't really sure if I ever could.

I locked myself in my room. A few minutes later, Yori knocked. "Shizuo Heiwajima is at the door."

"Turn him away," I said. "He isn't welcome here anymore."

Remember that epiphany I'd had back in the police station? When I'd realized that the answer to all the problems I'd had in the past month had been that Shizuo might _actually_ have fallen in love with me?

Well, here was my problem:

I think I loved him back.

* * *

**Dun. Dun. DUUUUUUN.**

**Well, I did say it was going to be angsty and revealing and that heads would roll, didn't I?**

**...did I?**

**So, erm, I hope you enjoyed. Like I said, I'm kind of lost on what to say for this time's descriptions.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	17. Mistake

**Hello again, everybody! **

**Summer is on a roll... Screwing with my sleeping schedule as usual... Been drawing a lot, lately!**

**Y'know, the usual. **

**Well I contemplated a lot while writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_ Ellie admired the view from her new apartment. The window behind her desk was large and made of sturdy, plated glass. At this hour, the apartment had been lit up by the neon signs lining the streets of downtown. _

_ She played with the ends of her ponytail, watching the people down below walk and socialize and enjoy themselves along the streets and stores and restaurants._

_ Izaya would've killed for a place like this, she thought. It was so perfect for spying on his precious humans. Come to think of it, he probably did have a place like this in Shinjuku. Creep._

_ Ellie decided to go down and find something to do. Her apartment was big enough that the small amount of boxes were barely enough to clutter the space, but it was in fact enough to drive her up a wall when it came to packing and unpacking._

_ Ellie wanted a break, so she took her regular and spare keys out with her, heading down to the street._

_ She stopped and glanced at the closed door to her new place, examining the threshold with her eyes. It looked just about big enough and tall enough to hide something small from wandering eyes. _

_ So she stretched up onto her toes and placed her spare key on the thick bar of wood along the top of the doorway. Hidden in plain sight was always best._

_ Outside, the summer weather made the night warm and humid. It was halfway through July, so Ellie had expected it to be on the hotter side._

_ The street was alive and electric. Somehow, Ellie liked it better than when she lived in the quiet, slummy end of Ikebukuro. It made her feel a part of the city, almost like she really lived there for once._

_ Amongst the people, she could see those telltale blue splotches, definite marks of members of the infamous gang, the Blue Squares._

_ Personally, Ellie hated the Blue Squares. She was almost positive that they had been behind the death of her father and siblings. However, she was smarter than to get involved with color gangs and forced herself to stay away. _

_ As she walked beside a café, she noticed a group of people following her across the street. The only distinction they had from the crowd was their articles of yellow clothing and the teenager walking at the front of the group. _

_ Ellie glared pointedly across to the teenager, then turned away. Typical response that would scream 'get lost.'_

_ But when Ellie crossed over into Sunshine, the group had followed her and the teenager at the head of the group gave a libidinous smirk. "Hey, sexy, what's a lady like you doing out all alone?"_

_ "Grown-up things, kid," Ellie replied with a smirk of her own. "Isn't it far past your bedtime?"_

_ "That's cute. The name's Kida, Masaomi, but you can call me 'The answer to your prayers.'"_

_ "I don't recall ever praying to be pulled aside on the street by a scrawny, wannabe heartbreaker."_

_ Kida Masaomi scowled. "You'll come around."_

_ Ellie glanced at the yellow bandana around the teenager's throat. "You're all members of that new color gang. Yellow Scarves, was it? Let me give you some advice, Kida Masaomi. Stay out of gangs. It'll get you into some serious shit." As she was walking away, Ellie mumbled under her breath, "gang cred is not impressive to most girls."_

_ She hoped that the kid might take her advice, because he seemed like a witty kind of guy. Maybe he'd get somewhere in his life._

_ If he let go of the growing pain recently named the Yellow Scarves._

* * *

When I turned the corner of the alleyway and dove behind a garbage can, I realized I was unable to slow my quick breathing due to my adrenaline rush.

To make this completely clear, I've never known the meaning of "heartbreak." To be heartbroken, I'd have had to have a bad experience with love, which I hadn't. Therefore, I had no use for it and I never bothered to prepare myself for it if it ever happened.

Well, coping with it was more difficult than I'd initially thought.

However, I refused to sink to the level of the rest of womankind and sit at home in sweats eating ice cream and overzealously watching movie adaptations of Nicolas Sparks novels. I had a different method of dealing with my uncooperative feelings, and being depressed was definitely not one of them.

So I just sat behind that can, hand over my mouth to staunch my heavy breaths, and waited for the heavy steps of gang members to pass. As soon as they were a good distance away from my hiding place, I ran again in the opposite direction and knocked over a few things in my path to tip them off.

If Shizuo was so fucking uptight about all of the "danger" I got into, then hell, I'd _write_ the meaning of danger. Some cat and mouse with dumbass Yellow Scarves might do the trick.

Around the next bend, I scaled a fire escape and hid in my black jacket as a method of camouflage; the Scarves members kept running after where they'd thought I'd gone.

I scoffed. "Idiots..."

At the top of the brick complex, I slid down onto the other side and to the sidewalk below. I blended into a group of passing high school students as the gang members emerged from the alley and looked around like they were hunters searching for deer.

I stifled laughter as they took a different route, still searching for where I'd gone, and played with the head Scarf's yellow bandana in my fingers.

So many of these I'd cut off of arms and heads and throats, and now I finally had one for myself. I stuck it in the pocket of my jacket, telling myself that it would come in handy sometime.

It had been about three days since my outburst at Shizuo. He'd been waiting at my door the day after it had happened to try and catch me in a conversation, but I'd avoided it and crawled through my window to get in and out of the apartment. I hadn't exactly seen him around since then.

There were, however, whispers and words on the street about how the Strongest Man in Ikebukuro was even more pissy than usual these days, and how eerily distant and lonely he would look whenever people saw him out and about.

I, on the other hand, was dealing with my odd feelings by way of distraction. I'd first tried to figure out the nature of my feelings for Shizuo, and then I'd given up on it and distracted myself with things like danger, violence, and general mischief.

But my thoughts kept drifting back to the reasons, and I just couldn't get around it. Eventually, I tried thinking back to when I first had even the slightest feeling for him, but for some reason I couldn't think of it.

It was impossible for me to just up and crush on him out of nowhere; I was never one to develop opinions on people in less than a month or two. I didn't believe in '_love at first sight_.'

I'd already thought about when we'd first met. He'd just been moody and kind of annoying at times. Although, when I thought about it more, I couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been there. Shinra had always been at my left and Shizuo at my right. I'd walked to and from school with him, spent free time with him, even so much as fallen asleep next to him on the couch or sometimes during class.

So really, how could I _not_ have developed palpable romantic feelings for someone who was always standing next to me?

It just didn't make sense to me, but then again, neither did anything else whenever I had a weird lapse in my emotional state.

My fingers touched the bandana in my pocket as I crossed the street. Through the groups of people traipsing across the cement at my sides, it was easy to spot the glint of blonde hair. I pulled my hood over my own hair and watched him from the opposite crosswalk.

The city goers were right, he actually looked like he'd just come back from a funeral or something. Shoulders hunched, downward expression, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

A part of me bigger than I'd expected didn't like seeing him that way. It wanted to fix him, try and make him happy again.

Was that what love felt like? I'd never experienced it before. Currently, I wasn't liking it very much.

I hopped up onto the sidewalk and walked in the direction Shizuo had been coming from. He obviously wasn't going back there, anyways.

I passed by a little comic book store on the corner of the avenue and tugged at the strings of my hood.

"Ellie?"

I glanced down. Ronan was sitting on a bench outside the store reading an aged-looking issue of the Fantastic Four.

"Hey, Ronan," I said. "What are you doing here all alone?"

"Well, Dad is across the street getting something so I asked him if I could come and get a comic while he was busy."

"Ah," I said under my breath. "Maybe I should get going, then."

"Wait, wait," Ronan complained. "I gotta ask you something."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"How come you're wearing that hood?"

"I'm, er, I'm hiding."

"_Hiding_?"

"Yeah, I, uh, got in a little mess with a few gang members."

Ronan's features suddenly became accusatory. "Are you sure you're not hiding from Mister Heiwajima?"

"Oh, great, you're on his side," I groaned.

"I'm not taking any sides," Ronan replied, lapsing into his all-knowing alter-ego. "But I just saw him, and do you know what? You made him really sad."

"_I _made _him_ sad," I repeated. "Expound on that, would you? Don't hold out on me this time. I'm already aware of the way he feels about me."

"Obviously not."

"Yeah, well, if he likes me so much then why—"

"I already know about the kiss-thing," Ronan interrupted. "And I know the truth. If you would listen—"

"I saw what I saw, and that's that," I miffed.

"You're jealous," he realized. "You like Mister Heiwajima, too!"

"Maybe I do. And that's why I'm not talking to him. He hurt my feelings. Crushed them, more like."

"Its because you're being stubborn," Ronan complained. "You won't listen to him!"

"Well, there's nothing to say about it," I said in reply. "And we're both stubborn, that's most of the reason why this whole thing isn't going too well."

"Don't think I don't know that," he mumbled.

"Then why are you trying to solve everything?" I grumbled. "You're a ten-year-old, not a superhero."

"Because you guys are cute and make each other happy!"

"What kind of excuse is that?"

"A completely valid one," Ronan huffed. "Haven't you ever been in love before, Ellie?"

"No..."

"Well don't you know anything about it?"

"Like you know anything about love either..."

"Hey, my parents love each other and I've seen a lot of movies!"

"News flash, movies do _not_ parallel real life," I objected. "I can tell you right now that there is a 5% chance that anyone kisses in the rain nowadays."

"Yeah, well, it's a start. You should try something because you're not doing so hot at this whole romance thing."

"Hey, he's the one who kissed someone else."

"But it wasn't his fault!"

"Oh, yes, because that's a good alibi."

"But really! This Vorona person, she was the one who made the move! Mister Heiwajima told me himself!"

I sighed. "You don't get it..."

"Just trust me! I promise, Mister Heiwajima really cares about you, he just doesn't know how to express it."

"Please, Shizuo has to have had girls falling over him in the years. He has the looks for it..."

"No offense, Ellie, but you're hopeless."

"Thanks," I muttered, "Next time, tell me something I don't know."

A man came around and patted Ronan's head. I kept my head down; I already knew it was Alex.

"All set, Ronan?" he asked. His voice sounded exactly the same from when I'd left my home.

"Just a sec," Ronan commented. He poked me. "Just give him a chance, okay? I know you're smart enough to handle it somehow. I can help you guys if it gets tough."

"Hey," I complained, "I do _not_ need couple's counseling."

"From this angle, it looks like you do," he mumbled.

I glanced up. Alex was staring at me like he was trying to figure out who I was, which he most likely was.

"Bye Ronan," I huffed, and walked away.

Why did talking to Ronan nowadays just put a sour taste in my mouth and more questions in my brain? Sometimes I wished that Luka knew about emotion and technical stuff, because Ronan always explained things in riddles and cryptic words, which was basically what emotion already was. Luka at least had patience to explain the little stuff piece by piece.

Now I was getting more depressed, because Ronan had again brought up the thing with Vorona. What neither of them understood was that it wasn't that she had kissed him, it was that Shizuo hadn't stopped her.

I went around the side of the boulevard and scaled a building. At the very top, all I could see were lights and people scattered across the sidewalks and streets. It was nearing sunset, so neon lights were beginning to show along the strip of buildings downtown.

I had the strangest urge to jump, even though I didn't. Suicide was such a stupid way to die. I'd go down fighting or not at all.

What was it with me and heights? Maybe it was just that I saw the world better from up here. Or maybe I just liked being above everyone else.

I caught sight of the group of Yellow Scarves from earlier.

The depression had set in again, so I crawled down the nearest fire escape and shouted to them. "Hey, you dropped this~!"

I waved the bandana around in the air, and the head of the group seemed to have recognized me. "Bitch, when I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you never showed your face around here!"

"Well," I said teasingly, "everyone needs a goal."

There was a bang that jolted the adrenaline into my veins as someone shot at me; the bullet missed and hit the metal girding of the fire escape.

"Oh, _so_ close," I taunted, and vaulted across the way. There was nothing to hold onto there, so I slid down and landed on the person who had fired the gun. I pulled it loose from his fingers and shot at a different member's feet.

I fired three more shots into the air and the group began to retreat.

"Keep running," I grumbled when they were gone and emptied the rest of the bullets into a nearby storm drain.

I tossed the now useless weapon aside and pushed my hood back, shaking out my hair. The exercise was making me sweaty.

There was sudden movement in the alley behind me; I spun around quickly and glared through the setting sunlight.

For a moment, I was afraid that it might've been Shizuo. The shadow that had been cast across the alley was tall.

But the figure stepped into the light, and I recognized the last person I would've expected to see.

My gaze fell into a glare. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"This is quite unexpected..."

"What do you want?"

"You're an interesting human, Ellie-kun. One day, you're yourself, and the next, you're a completely different person."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I miffed.

"Is this about Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked with that smirk.

"_No_," I said maybe a little too quickly.

"Oh, come now, we both know you're lying. What would he think if he saw you lying and getting into so much trouble?"

"I don't give a _shit_ what Shizuo thinks," I hissed. "He doesn't control me, nobody does. I do what I want."

"Oh?"

"Don't act surprised. Shizuo's dead to me."

But I really didn't know what I was feeling. As soon as I'd said it, I began to second-guess what had come out of my mouth. All day I'd been doing it to some extent, but now there was no way adrenaline would block it out.

"Silly Ellie-kun, I can see the doubt on your face. I'm quite aware of the little crush you have on Shizu-chan."

I felt my face turn red. "I-I don't feel anything for him. Never have, never will."

I was determined to show Izaya that I wasn't to be messed with right now, but that strategy melted quickly.

"I see," he replied mischievously. "In that case, perhaps you wouldn't mind a bit of proof?"

"Proof?"

"If Shizu-chan is as worthless to you as you say, then how about a little _kiss_?"

I remembered high school, when I'd said over and over that I would rather die than so much as touch Izaya with a 50-foot-long pole. But I think my stubborn attitude had gotten the best of me, because I heard myself say, "I don't care."

In the silence that followed there was suddenly no space between me and the man I'd always hated, the person who had taken turns with me trying to ruin the other's life. I knew he would take advantage of the situation. I expected it. I held myself still—my eyes closed, my fingers curled into fists at my sides—as his hands caught my face and his lips found mine with a suddenness that wasn't too far from violence.

I could feel the anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the nape of my neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed roughly at my shoulder, shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my arm, finding my wrist and pulling my arm up around his neck. I left it there, my hand still tightly balled up. All the while his lips, disconcertingly rough and cold, tried to force a response out of mine.

As soon as he was sure I wouldn't drop my arm, he freed my wrist, his hand feeling its way down to my waist. His slim hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked me forward, bowing my body against his.

His lips gave up on mine for a moment, but I knew he was nowhere close to finished. His mouth followed the line of my jaw, and then trailed the length of my neck. He freed my hair, reaching for my other arm to draw it around his throat like the first.

Then both of his arms were constricted around my waist, and his lips found my ear.

"You can do better than this, Ellie-kun," he whispered huskily. "You're overthinking it."

I shivered as I felt his teeth graze my earlobe.

"That's right," he murmured. "Just let yourself feel what you feel."

I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands wound back into my hair and stopped me.

His voice turned acidic. "You're resisting, Ellie-kun. Are you sure you're not still smitten with your _dear_ Shizu-chan?"

Anger rocked through me in flashes of scarlet and crimson. As expected, he wasn't fighting fair.

Like he ever did anyway.

My arms were already around his neck, so I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and fought back, struggling to pull my face away from his.

And Izaya misunderstood.

I should've known it—he was sadistic to the point to not recognize that my hands, trying to yank his hair out by the roots, meant to cause him pain. Instead of anger, he had fabricated passion. He thought I was finally responding to him.

With a wild gasp, he brought his mouth back to mine, his fingers clutching frantically against the skin at my waist.

That jolt of anger unbalanced my hold on my self-control; his unexpected response completely threw it off. If there had only been triumph, I might have been able to resist him. But his abrupt satisfaction cracked my determination. My brain disconnected from my body, and I was kissing him back. Against all reason, my lips were moving with his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before.

My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now.

He was everywhere. The burning sunset turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Izaya.

The tiny piece of my brain that had remained sane screamed questions at me.

Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it wasn't tight enough for me?

The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself.

Izaya was right. This wasn't about either of us; it was about Shizuo. That's why it was so impossible for me to forget him, be angry with him any longer, even to lie about the way I felt—because I was in love with him. _Too_. I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it wasn't enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had.

I more than deserved whatever pain this escapade with Izaya caused me. I hoped it was bad. I hoped I would really suffer.

All of today, I had been denying all of my issues and focusing on anything, everything but what I felt because I just couldn't bear the emotion. It hurt more than physical pain. It hurt more than Izaya's fingers tearing at my hair while he kissed me.

In some way, this kiss was like the danger, the adrenaline I'd been searching for today. Just painful enough to distract me from the way I felt.

I understood it now. I could finally understand what being heartbroken was.

The shock and the fury and the hurt settled at the same time, and then the full brunt of realization hit me. I had only just now realized how, why, when I loved Shizuo.

And that the person I'd unknowingly fallen for so many years ago had kissed a different woman.

I guess Izaya really _was_ good for something.

Izaya's lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with curiosity and triumph.

"You _are_ the interesting human, Ellie-kun."

"Shut up, Orihara," I grumbled.

"Spare me, Ellie-kun," Izaya said with his Cheshire Cat grin. "You should be a bit nicer."

"Why the hell would I ever do that?"

Izaya's expression changed slightly, though I couldn't figure out how. He grabbed my chin with cold fingers and made me look at him. "You don't seem to understand, Ellie-kun. You've denounced Shizu-chan. That means you're on my side now."

"Fine. Just let go of me," I growled.

"I'm afraid that I can't do that," Izaya said, his attitude becoming more cheerful. "Because, you see, you're _mine_ now."

"I don't belong to anyone."

"We'll see, won't we?"

And as Izaya was pulling me who-knows-where, I was trying to understand exactly what I had gotten myself into and wishing that the hand pulling me belonged to someone else. Wishing I had listened to Ronan. Wishing I had run across the street and knocked Shizuo down embracing him.

But I hadn't. I _couldn't_.

I'd made a mess of things, and now I'd gotten Izaya involved, which was unforgivable.

I'd done the ultimate wrong, and I had to fix it by myself. I didn't know what to expect if Shizuo even got the slightest bit involved.

A big part of me asked myself, why go along with Izaya? Why not just forget about him and go find Shizuo and fix everything with him?

Well, that's because I had my pride to think about. I cared about Shizuo, but this was a personal blunder to a larger extent.

There was no way I would let Izaya have the last word, and I'd made the mistake of throwing the first blow. So now I was forced to fix this by myself and hold off on my feelings.

Sure, it sounds selfish, but that's exactly what I am. After a long time of having to fend for myself, I had to be selfish.

My instincts were telling me one thing, while my heart was telling me another.

Well, I'd never been much good at following my heart anyways. For now, I would do everything in my power to win this war I'd started and maybe even drive Izaya off the edge.

After all, this was an opportunity too great to miss.

And I am an opportunist...

_ ...right?_

* * *

**There's a lot of symbolism in this chapter, and I really hope everyone gets it...**

**I had a bit of trouble writing this installment. Someone said that they didn't like seeing Ellie depressed, and I really don't like ****_writing_**** her depressed. **

**This chapter (In case the symbolism was lost on you guys) was really about Ellie's inner conflict, how she can't admit that she loves Shizuo because she's too stubborn and prideful. She refuses to admit that she's done something wrong and only realizes this when it's too late and her prideful nature pushed her into "the ultimate wrong," i.e. making out with Izaya...**

**Even afterwards, when she finally does accept that she loves Shizuo, she still won't make up with him because she's now in a whole new battle with Izaya, since she lied to him and he would never let her hear the end of it if he knew... So, she decides to play along to save face and (to a lesser extent) keep Shizuo out of the crossfire. **

**But the last thing she does in the chapter, as she's done the entirety of this entry, is second guess herself. She's stuck between doing the right thing and what she wants, since she's always done what she wants. **

**"After all, I am an opportunist... Right...?"**

**I know authors don't usually explain what they're trying to say, but I just felt like it needed an explanation. Rereading it, I confused myself on a few parts and I was constantly rewriting areas of this...**

**So I really hope you enjoyed because this chapter was kind of a pain and so is capturing a kiss between Ellie and Izaya... :|**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	18. Complication

**Hey, so I had kind of a bad day today, but I hope it didn't affect this chapter much. I tend to leak my feelings into my writing.**

**Enjoy, anyways. **

* * *

_Ellie strolled across town, feeling lazy._

_ Business was looking up nowadays and she hadn't heard from Izaya in a while. _

_ It was a nice, clear day. Tom had called her in a bit ago, so she was currently walking over to the building where they worked._

_ For some reason, Ellie enjoyed working in Tom's office. It was quiet and she could sometimes catch up with Shizuo. _

_ Suddenly, a motorcycle shot down the street and nearly ran her over._

_ "Hey, asshole!" she exclaimed. "Watch where you're going!"_

_ It hadn't been Celty, Ellie at least knew that. She would've heard that telltale rev twisted together with Shooter's neigh. _

_ Ellie straightened her pullover and continued walking up the street to the tax building. _

_ As always, the hallways were empty and quiet and full of businesspeople and accountants who also worked for the business. Upstairs, Ellie knocked twice on the door to Tom's office before entering._

_ "Tom?" she asked absently. _

_ "Come on in, Ellie."_

_ Tentatively, Ellie pulled open the door and entered the office. The first thing she noticed was Shizuo, who had a jagged yet circular indentation in the front of his vest that was almost like someone had tried to burn a hole into it._

_ "...the hell happened to you?"_

_ Shizuo glanced at the mark and exhaled, like he was annoyed. "A 10-year-old stun-gunned me in the stomach."_

_ "Or tried," Tom pointed out. _

_ "Wow," she retorted. "What did you do, break a slide?"_

_ "Oh, shut up."_

_ "Just wondering."_

_ "The Awakusu's kid got mixed up with Izaya Orihara," Tom told Ellie. _

_ "Ah. Danger meets an asshole. I see where this ends up."_

_ "Anyway. Work's on the desk."_

_ "Cool. I'll get started."_

_ Ellie skipped over and sat down in the desk chair, logging onto the company's interface with her own user. _

_ "I had an interesting morning, myself," Ellie commented. "A motorcycle almost ran me over."_

_ "You didn't get hurt, did you?"_

_ "I said almost. I'm still alive, aren't I?"_

_ "Touché."_

_ Ellie began her work in the same silence she'd arrived in. Not much time had passed when she looked up to say something and realized that both Tom and Shizuo were gone._

_ Ellie felt a strange pang of some foreign emotion, one she didn't recognize._

Oh well,_ she thought. _I guess I'll see them later...

* * *

It was hard for me to get embarrassed.

Maybe there was a time or two when I'd get taken by surprise or caught off guard or something, but I was proud to say that I rarely got surprised.

Well, today was one of those days.

The jacket hung low on my body, passing my skirt and hanging just above my knees. I'd pulled the hood over my head so that people wouldn't recognize me, because I was currently mildly ashamed of myself.

I tugged up the furry sleeves of Izaya's jacket and kept walking.

Due to my unfortunate increase in pride, I was currently going to visit Izaya. I was doing what he wanted now because I didn't want him to bring Shizuo into the issue. I wanted him to stay as far away as possible while I dealt with the mess I'd made.

Admittedly, I was also really proud to the point where I would rather die than let Izaya know he had been right about something. Killing two birds with one stone, I guess.

The previous night, Izaya had dropped his coat on me and insisted that I wear it around as a _mark of my allegiance_ to him or something along those lines.

I didn't know how he wore the damn thing. It was so fucking _itchy_.

People kept staring at me. I wondered if they thought I was Izaya. It made some sense since we were the same height, but I was also wearing a skirt... Well, there's a point for me.

I didn't like doing all of this. In fact, I really hated it. But it was only fair that I suffered like this. I was kind of a rebuttal for the screw-ups I'd made in the past week.

And the pain and annoyance distracted me from the pain of having to postpone an apology to Shizuo.

And in addition to that... I knew that he hated it when I got into dangerous situations, and I suppose that this could be counted as one. If Shizuo ever saw me fraternizing with Izaya, any relationship we ever had or would've had would end in that moment. I couldn't let that happen. I had to fix my mistakes now before it was too late.

I approached Izaya's building and forced myself into the elevator. I hated this so much.

I prepared myself mentally for this visit with Izaya and tried to find my happy place. Anything that would distract me and help me bear my punishments.

After trying in vain to look for things that made me happy (other than trolling chatrooms and causing pain to gang members and sometimes Izaya himself), I thought about Shizuo. I'd never really thought about it before, but there were things I knew about him that I'd never realized I'd known before.

The elevator door opened on Izaya's floor. _I remembered the low timbre of Shizuo's laugh, whether it was just a scoff or genuine amusement._

Mechanically, I walked down the hall towards his door. _I remembered that he smiles higher on the right._

I forced away the emotion and the palpable disgust almost as effortlessly as sweeping a broom. _I remembered how his hands are always cool. Not icy cold, but always comfortable._

I knocked twice on the door. _I remembered his favorite color is green, because he likes nature._

Izaya's annoying secretary opened the door. "Come in." _I remembered he prefers vanilla over chocolate even though he likes both._

I glanced past her and walked into the open room. _I remembered he always double-knots his shoelaces because he doesn't want to have to tie them again if they fall out._

Izaya gave a cheerful, Cheshire Cat smile when he saw me. "Good morning, Ellie-kun!"

_Happy place, happy place. Shizuo really, really likes cats even though he won't admit it._ "Good morning."

"Sit down, we're companions now. No need to be so stiff."

_That's what you think. _I sat down and perched my boots on the edge of the coffee table. I assumed my regular, aloof attitude I now kept with Izaya. "I keep wondering how you stand this jacket. I feel like I'm wearing a pine tree."

"Perhaps it's because our choices in clothing aren't quite... The same."

I glanced at my skirt and my halter-style top, which did show a lot more skin than Izaya's v-necks and jeans.

"Speaking of clothing choices, if anyone gives you a hard time about wearing a skirt, don't blame me."

Izaya eyed me. "Ellie-kun, what did you do?"

"You're the one who's making me wear this jacket, and it isn't my fault we're the same height. Nor is it my fault that you occasionally walk like a woman."

Izaya gave a slight sigh. "Oh, what am I going to do with you, Ellie-kun?"

Kill. Me. _Now_. "You'll probably end up locking me away somewhere and throwing away the key."

"Oh, come on, I'm not that cruel~!" But the edge of sarcasm in his tone threw me off.

"Whatever you say. What do you have planned to torture me with today?"

"Well," Izaya replied smoothly, "I do have a bit of business to take care of outside of my apartment today... Would you mind accompanying me?"

"Where are we talking about?"

"I've recently been doing business with the yakuza."

"Wow, er, drug lords? Isn't that a little low, even for you?"

"I'd expect you to understand, Ellie-kun. Don't you give business to anyone who wants it?"

I exhaled. "I suppose you have a point."

The yakuza. _Damn_. Izaya didn't play around.

Sure, I did business with the Awakusu, which were a branch of the yakuza, but I'd always done it over the phone. I'd never exactly gone to them in person. As a woman that had experience with stalkers and sexually frustrated men, being in a place full of dangerous old guys with one way in and one way out makes me a bit uncomfortable.

_Breathe, Ellie, breathe. Happy place. Shizuo is a relatively light sleeper contrast to what everyone else thinks. Happy place, happy place. _

"Namie, would you mind dusting off the bookcase while I'm gone?" Izaya asked his secretary in an annoyingly sweet tone.

She gave a sigh, eyes void of emotion. "What else do I have to live for?"

"Wonderful! Come on, Ellie-kun."

I stumbled after Izaya and flinched when he loosely wrapped his arm around my waist.

"You're testing my boundaries, Izaya," I grumbled. "_Don't_ touch me."

"You mustn't be so close-minded, Ellie-kun," Izaya said in what sounded like he was trying to be encouraging. Rather, it sounded a little condescending. "You never know what will happen!"

"No, but I'm a damn good guesser and I'm going to take a very good guess that you're going to lose that arm if you don't _take it off of me_."

Izaya's chuckle was strangely warm. Almost amused.

I eyed him as we exited his apartment building and walked onto the street.

I almost wanted to hand his jacket back to him, because he looked so unusual without it. Almost _normal_. It was kind of freaky.

"Why must you hide?" Izaya asked suddenly, tearing me out of the quiet, steady rhythm I'd taken up. He had pulled the hood of the jacket up just high enough to meet my eyes.

"I'm not hiding," I answered simply. "I'm probably the only ginger in all of Japan and pretty easy to pick out in a crowd. Why risk having the gangs that are out places recognize me and start a fight?"

"Technically, you're hiding."

"Oh, bite me," I retorted.

Izaya smirked, but said nothing.

He was obviously enjoying this, maybe a little too much. I could think of a lot of ways to take him down a peg, because I didn't find it that funny how he was enjoying my suffering.

I didn't quite recognize the area we were in; I wasn't as familiar with Shinjuku as I was with Ikebukuro, but I could tell well enough that we were heading towards a nice-looking office building.

It reminded me a pointedly of the tax building in Ikebukuro, but a little taller.

"If you're scared, I can hold you," Izaya taunted.

"I can stab you, if you'd like," I responded icily.

Izaya's laugh echoed a bit as we entered the building.

All of the entrances were unmarked, and as soon as we walked in it looked like we'd entered an art gallery. Barely anyone was inside, save for a woman behind a counter at the back of the gallery. Of course, an art gallery was just for legal cover. That much I knew.

"Would you rather stay here or are you brave enough to accompany me all the way?" Izaya teased.

"I despise confined spaces," I replied. "I'll wait here, thanks. Art isn't that boring."

He smirked and sauntered towards the counter where the woman was. I walked the other way, looking over the paintings and pieces that probably cost a fortune altogether.

I passed one that I recognized, one that Akane had liked in particular. She'd shown me pictures and tried painting it herself, too. I'd read a poem pertaining to it before. The plate underneath the painting read,_ "The Lady of Shalott. Painted by John William Waterhouse."_

It was of a woman who looked like she had been living sometime in the 1800's, sitting in a boat in a river. The shadows in the painting were dark and unnatural, almost like the expression on the woman's face. I could almost hear Akane's voice now, telling me about the symbolism in the painting.

_ "Candles on the boat, two of which are out, symbolize that the end of the Lady's life is near. The tapestry the lady wove in her tower hangs from the side of the boat illustrating the rest of the poem. _

_ "The complete absence of other people from this composition also underlines the loneliness of The Lady of Shalott, and the fact that her death is now inevitable. The Lady is shown about to let go of the chain which moors the boat, symbolic of her release from the tower. _

_ "The lady's mouth is slightly open, 'singing her last song', in direct correlation with the poem. She stares at a crucifix next to the candles, another sign of her untimely death."_

"It's a beautiful piece, don't you think?"

I flinched, realizing that someone was next to me. I turned, and saw someone vaguely familiar. It only registered in my memory when I saw the navy scarf hanging around his neck.

I was still wearing the hood over my head, so he must have not recognized me. However, when I looked at him, he realized that it was me.

"Hey, we meet again!"

"Small world," I mused. "Your name is Ashton, right?"

"That's right! And you're Ellie Jacobson! See, this time I know your whole name!"

"Yeah," I said awkwardly.

"So, er, what are you doing here?" He asked. "I thought you lived in Ikebukuro. And where's your friend, Shizuo Heiwajima?"

I flinched. "I'm, uh, doing some different work this week."

"Oh. So, you're alone here?"

"Not particularly... I'm here with an... _Acquaintance_ of mine..."

"Really? By the way, that jacket looks familiar..."

"Huh. I wonder why..." I trailed off, trying to think of what I should say. "So, uhm, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, the guy I work with dragged me here... He had some business to take care of or something."

"I see," I mused. "So you, er, like this painting?"

"Yeah," Ashton replied, running a hand through his dark hair. "Although, I can't really explain why. I just feel this... _Resonance_..."

Was it my imagination, or had something just changed in Ashton's disposition? I could've sworn his eyes had just flashed with something completely new and different.

"Hey, Tagewa!"

A big, bulky man came around the corner and grabbed Ashton by the scarf.

Immediately, I recognized him. I could suddenly smell the rain and taste the fresh air on my tongue. His scowl and very obviously dyed red hair had a place in my mind, a place where I'd nearly been assaulted in the rain by a group of Yellow Scarves.

The man wasn't wearing any yellow now, but I undoubtedly knew that he had been there.

_ "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," _

_ "Damn straight, ginger. You've stolen away ten precious seconds of my life."_

_ "Well, sorry."_

_ "Sorry ain't gonna cut it, sweetheart. I'm gonna need a real apology."_

_ "Lay off!"_

_ "C'mon, honey, don't be like that."_

If there was a bulky Yellow Scarves member here, and Ashton was working with him...

Then exactly who was Ashton?

Ashton waved sheepishly as the guy dragged him out the door. At that point, Izaya seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"Why, Ellie-kun, you look as though you've seen a ghost."

"Do you know that guy's name?" I blurted. "The brunette, the one with the big muscles and the obvious dye job?"

"Not in particular, but your description matches another business partner of the Awakusu-kai that I've been seeing around."

"Can you tell me anything about him?" I pressed.

"Not specifically, but Shiki addressed him as 'Sho.'"

Sho. I'd do some research on this later.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Is there a method to your madness?"

"Not yet," I replied mindlessly. "I'm not even sure if there will be."

Izaya's lips turned up at the corners. "You are quite clever, Ellie-kun, I'll admit that. I'd expect you to come up with something."

"Wow, uh, that might've been the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"Why are you so surprised?" he asked innocently. "I can be civil when I want to."

"That seems irrelevant," I responded.

"Remember to keep an open mind, Ellie-kun. Anything is possible~!"

"Great, now you sound like one of those lame motivational speakers."

"That depends. Is it bothering you?"

I glared. "No."

"Good, then you won't mind if I use more superficial uplifting phrases?"

"Be my guest. If you need me, I'll be daydreaming into next Tuesday."

"I'll alert you if you happen to collide with anything."

"Oh, gee, thanks."

I walked lazily beside Izaya as we headed again towards his apartment.

I'd been noticing how it got suddenly easier to deal with him as the day progressed, because I was getting used to his nips and low blows.

That wasn't particularly a good thing. I had to find a way to finish the crap I'd caused with Izaya off before it became a full-on _danse macabre. _

But how was I to do that?

"Can I please go home now?" I asked as soon as we'd reached Izaya's building. "I have work of my own, you know."

"I suppose," Izaya replied. "I may have something for you to do tomorrow, so that you won't be too lost in boredom."

"Wow. I'm so excited," I said blankly.

"Until tomorrow, Ellie-kun~!"

I didn't stay to watch Izaya go back into his apartment. I was busy with many of my own thoughts.

How was I going to cut this off? I hadn't really planned this far.

The whole point of making me follow Izaya around day after day was sort of to the point where he thought he was taking Shizuo's place as the guy who was always next to me.

_News flash, Izaya. Shizuo's spot is on my right. There's a reason I walk to the right of you._

Typically, I was kind of using him. I was nearly positive that he wasn't aware I'd been playing him since we'd kissed... So, what exactly was I trying to get out of this? Information? A weakness?

That was one problem to attend to. The other was the mystery of Ashton and Sho. Just who were they?

Curiosity has always been one of my particular strong points. After all, knowledge is power, yadda yadda yadda. You get the gist.

I got onto the train while I thought about this. It was a while before I realized that I was alone in this particular car.

That was unusual since so many people took the train, but I wasn't really complaining. Being alone was kind of my thing these days.

That was all right with me, though. Personally, I didn't like it when people came around me when I was trying to do something because it was easier if they didn't get involved. They stayed out of the way and out of trouble.

I exited the train as soon as the doors opened in Ikebukuro and quickly made my way out and into the city.

I'd long since become a master of blending into crowds, but the dumb jacket wasn't really helping me out much. Crowds seemed to part when I walked through them with it on, which pretty much eliminated any chance of trying to be inconspicuous.

I was halfway through the walk to my apartment when I realized that Shizuo was walking with Tom and Vorona down the opposite boulevard.

I stopped and looked across to them. Tom was talking easily with Vorona, who had assumed her usual nonchalant attitude on the street. Shizuo walked like he was upset. Alone, despite the fact that he was beside two people who he considered close friends.

I noticed that neither one of them acknowledged him. Either they didn't want to mess with him, or they didn't know how to fix his disposition. _Or they weren't willing to try._

It took a lot to force myself to keep moving.

When I reached my building, I jogged up the stairs and opened my door quickly, almost slamming it behind me.

The sound of the door woke Hibiki, who had dozed off on the coffee table. He blinked at me curiously with amber eyes.

"Hey," I said quietly. "C'mere."

Currently, Hibiki was the only one I had to comfort me. A cat, which was somehow more consoling than even a human being.

At least for the moment.

I wished Shizuo had a cat.

I picked Hibiki up and scratched him behind the ears, carrying him across the room with me to my desk.

I slid Izaya's coat off of my shoulders and hung it over the back of my desk chair. Hibiki idled in my lap for a moment when I sat down, soon jumping up and landing on a picture frame I kept next to my computer.

I examined it and then sighed.

It was an admittedly old photo, taken in high school by someone I couldn't remember. It was of me, Shinra, Shizuo, and Kadota. We'd all been taken off-guard, given our strange positions in the picture.

Shizuo had been yawning, Kyohei was staring off into space, and I was poking at Shizuo with a look on my face that looked almost exasperated. Only Shinra had been captured smiling, which was probably also on accident because he'd had a habit of smiling or laughing away the awkward silences.

My friends sometimes asked why I kept it, because I probably had much better pictures of us to put out in plain sight. Well, I did, but I just really liked this one.

Maybe now that Shinra's an illegal doctor, Kyohei's a member of a colorless color gang, Shizuo's a bodyguard for a debt collection agency, and I sell marginally illegal information to criminals and mob bosses, it's nice to have one reminder of when we were all just dumb teenagers trying to figure out our place in the world.

It reminded me that even we, the misfits of Ikebukuro, were still human despite what anyone else decided.

Still human. Still _vulnerable_.

I remembered Shizuo on the street and turned the picture over on the desk so that I wouldn't be forced to look at it anymore.

Then I crammed other thoughts into my mind and opened up the Internet, searching all available records on the man named Ashton Tagewa.

The results were empty, and my answer was simple.

Ashton Tagewa did not exist.

How are you supposed to close-read someone who didn't exist?

You don't. You _can't_.

And then I had the answer to all my other problems. My negative side had somehow associated this with my other issues.

How do I end this crap with Izaya?

I don't. I _can't_.

How can I ever fix things with Shizuo?

I hung my head in my hands. I needed some fresh air and some good sound advice.

And it was then that I realized it: maybe I _can't_ do this alone. _Maybe I don't have to. _

* * *

**A lot of tension in this chapter, but I guess that's okay because Ellie is still second-guessing herself. **

** It doesn't touch very much on how Ashton "doesn't exist," but I promise it will soon. **

** I enjoyed the banter between Izaya and Ellie. It's fun to write what it sounds like when they want to kill each other but still don't. **

** And Ellie is finally getting some help, that's good. She's learning. **

** Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and you know how I always love hearing from you. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	19. Redemption

**Hey everybody! I recently got my computer back from where it was getting fixed, how awesome is that.**

**So yeah I'm really happy about that and I can stop doing everything from my phone~! I also just updated my DeviantART finally, and I think someone found me on there... I uploaded the cover to this story and DA was also where Ellie first came into being XD I used it a lot in the past, so I have a lot of little sketches of her that I did back when I wasn't the best artist in the world.**

**I'll probably update it with my newer, better drawings of her so that you people can see her~**

**Enough about that; On with the story!**

* * *

_ Ellie's footsteps made a loud sloshing noise as she ran through the downpour. She couldn't get caught, she couldn't get caught._

_ The person chasing her wasn't anyone she knew, but just the look of him was enough to tell anyone that he was bad news. She hadn't messed with him, but he was going after her anyways for reasons unknown. Maybe he'd recognized her or she had something he wanted?_

_ After all, Ellie was beginning to grow more notorious in Ikebukuro._

_ Ellie shot down an intersection, dodging a couple of cabs that had been driving people around in the rain. They honked a couple times when Ellie darted in front of them, but stopped anyways._

_ "Sorry!" she called halfheartedly as she raced down a nearby side street. Like hell was she stopping for anyone._

_ Just as she was glancing behind her to make sure that she'd put a considerable amount of distance between her and her pursuer. Ellie barreled into someone who'd been walking down the street and fell to the ground._

_ Ellie's hood flew off and her red hair glinted in the dimmed streetlights and caught the falling rain._

_ "Where's the fire, ginger?" Shizuo grumbled, groping along the wet ground for where his umbrella had landed._

_ "Oh, hey, Shizuo," Ellie mumbled nervously. She usually didn't express much direct emotion in front of Shizuo, but she was slightly shaken from running away from the tall, buff guy who'd been chasing after her. "Just, eh... out... for a jog..."_

_ "At night. When it's pouring rain."_

_ "Yep!"_

_ "You're a strange girl."_

_ "Thanks," Ellie said as convincingly as she could. "Well, I should go now! See you!"_

_ "Hold it," Shizuo said dryly, catching her by the collar. "What's wrong with you?"_

_ "Nothing!"_

_ "You're lying."_

_ "Shizuo, please, just let me go!"_

_ "Why?"_

_ A loud sloshing caught Ellie's attention, and she struggled until Shizuo finally released her hood._

_ Ellie practically crashed down to the pavement, sending water flying everywhere._

_ Shizuo swung around and smacked Ellie's pursuer with his umbrella, breaking it in half and sending the man into the wall of the alley. _  
_Ellie couldn't do anything but watch, her heart beating fast as Shizuo and the man who'd been chasing her threw punch after punch at each other. The sound of the rain was broken by bricks being knocked out of surroundings walls and metal rails being dented by stray blows._

_ Shivering and soaked to the bone, Ellie pulled her jacket off and wrung it out, sighing as she tried to prevent it from getting wet all over again._  
_ When the sounds of a struggle finally ceased, Shizuo glanced at the small woman who looked even smaller drenched in water and helped her off of the pavement._

_ "T-Thanks," Ellie shivered, squeezing water from the ends of her hair._

_ "Don't mention it. That guy a friend of yours?" Shizuo glanced back, making sure that the guy had long since run off._

_ "Ha-ha. I h-haven't g-gotten into anything l-lately... I s-still don't know who he w-was or what he w-wanted with m-me."_

_ "For fuck's sake, you're shivering like a dog."_

_ "W-What do y-you expect?! I'm s-soaking w-wet!"_

_ Shizuo exhaled. "Come on. I'm taking you home."_

_ "I c-can go by m-myself. It's only a f-few b-blocks away..."_

_ "This isn't about how far it is. You're freezing and all wet."_

_ "I-I'll be f-fine!"_

_ Shizuo scowled and pulled Ellie quickly up into his arms and carried her towards downtown._

_ "H-Hey!" she protested. "P-Put me d-down!"_

_ "Sorry, I can't hear you. It's raining too hard."_

_ Ellie growled. "Y-You're an a-asshole."_

_ "Thanks, ginger."_

_ Realizing she couldn't do anything to argue, Ellie shivered in silence and tried to focus on everything but the fact that she was cold and wet and annoyed._

_ She closed her eyes and listened to the steady fall of rain around them and Shizuo's rhythmic steps and his easy, long breaths that made white puffs of condensation in the cool air every time he exhaled. Before she knew it, they were walking into her apartment and Shizuo had dropped her on the couch and tossed a blanket on top of her._

_ Ellie drew it close and kicked off her soaked Converse, trying again to focus on everything but how frozen she felt._

_ "T-Thanks for this, S-Shizuo," she stuttered around the folds of the blanket._

_ "Don't mention it," he grumbled._

_ "S-Sorry I snapped at y-you..."_

_ Shizuo shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever."_

_ "N-No, r-really. T-Thanks."_

_ He sat down on the sofa next to Ellie. In the same moment, the redhead sneezed into the blanket and Shizuo held out a couple of tissues._

_ "Thanks," she said again. Ellie could never really put her finger on it, but it was almost like Shizuo always knew how to fix everything even when she didn't._

_ Sometimes, it frustrated her, but she was also sort of glad. Almost like when she couldn't do something, he'd already had it covered._

_ And he was always saving her sorry ass, too._

_ Maybe she didn't admit it, but it was kind of nice to have Shizuo around. She was lucky he tolerated her screw-ups._

* * *

My day had been considerably taxing even before I got hit with a soda machine.

It started quietly, that unbearable silence that comes before all hell breaks loose. Of course, I knew something would happen today. I was instigating it, of course.

Today was the day that I'd end it. I'd decided it late last night in my self-induced solitude. It'd been another one of those all-nighters where I couldn't fall asleep. So I'd just stayed up thinking about everything. I didn't exactly have a plan, but winging it was what I normally did best.

It was around 8 AM when I decided to call someone, vent my feelings and get an outside input.

See, when I'm upset, I just shut myself down. I don't have much motivation for anything. I tell myself that no one cares what I feel, even though I know deep down that some do. I think about every negative thing I can possibly think of, all of the worst-case scenarios just to get them out of the way. I give myself all the pain and the worries and let them weigh there because I usually deserve it, even when I don't.

I'm not sure why I do that. I just do.

Nevertheless, I called someone who would be able to help me pick through my mind piece by piece.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end didn't sound the slightest bit tired or out of sorts. I wondered if he had been awake late, too.

"Hey, Kasuka?" I asked. "Am I bothering you?"

"Not particularly. It's the afternoon where I am. Isn't it early in Ikebukuro?"

I assumed he was somewhere in the Western Hemisphere. "Yeah, somewhat, but I really needed some advice."

"Okay. I'm listening."

So I explained everything from when Shizuo and I had fought down to the very last detail of the moment we were both lingering in now.

When I was finished, the voice at the other end of the line was nonexistent. I waited for him to process everything. If anyone knew Shizuo and how I could fix things with him, it was his little brother.

"I don't know what I should do," I continued. "I know that I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it, but I don't know how."

"But you do," Kasuka answered thinly. "To be honest, I believe you've always known."

"Huh?"

"From what you've told me, you care about Shizuo. This is old news to me, because I know you've always cared about him and I'm even more aware that he cares about you too. Maybe more than he should."

"What's that mean?"

"I should let him tell you; we're getting off topic. The question of how you solve this predicament is simple. What do you care about more? Your own feelings or Shizuo's?"

"...I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at."

"This entire problem you have is a matter of pride. You and Shizuo both have far too much of it, and I think I should know. The both of you are too prideful to admit that you care for each other and that's what started this issue. Your pride is what pushed it over the edge."

"_Oh_."

"Admittedly, you're the reason that Izaya Orihara is involved and the reason why he's staying involved. Like I said, do you care about Shizuo's feelings or do you just care singularly about your public appearance?"

That was definitely it. I'd known that pride was what had gotten Izaya mixed up with us but I hadn't yet realized that it was my pride again that kept him there. It wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted from him; it was that I was still too stubborn to admit my own mistake to him.

"I know this is a difficult choice for you," Kasuka continued. "You've always been the person who thinks about herself before she thinks of others."

"I know," I groaned. "I'm selfish and I can't help it."

"I never said you were selfish. In fact, you can be one of the most selfless people I know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Yes, you think about yourself first. But you have moments when you're caught in a crossfire and you forget about everything but someone who's in danger. I think that right now, your selfish side is fighting with your selfless side."

"So if that's the case, what am I supposed to do?"

"Here's an idea: you live the present selfishly because of the way you were treated in your past. Do you really think that the past is as important as the future? How do you think these decisions are going to impact you later?"

I was silent. "...I've never really thought about it like that before."

"Those are the perks of being a wallflower," Kasuka answered. "You see everything that goes on without taking part in it."

"_Wallflower_," I mused. "Interesting vantage point."

"I can't decide this for you, Ellie. All I can do is try to point you in the right direction and hope you listen."

"...thanks, Kasuka."

"Don't thank me for reused information. You've known this all along."

"I can't be sure about that yet... I should let you go now. I have a lot to mull over."

"Call me back once you've sorted everything out," he replied. I heard the smile in his voice. "I'd _love_ to hear all about it."

I hesitated before saying, "Goodbye, Kasuka."

He hesitated, too. "Good luck.

The line went dead, and I was alone again.

Alone in my thoughts and with my conscience. _Awesome_.

Of course, Kasuka had been spot on. He'd hit every point I'd been unsure of and filled in all the cracks.

My stupid, awful pride. It'd caused this, and it was probably going to end it, too.

Like Kasuka had said, I had to think about the future. If I ever wanted a future with Shizuo at all, I'd have to think about it now.

I loved him, I really did. He'd always been there to pick me up if I fell down and he dealt with my lapses in character even when he was annoyed and tired and fed up with the world.

Out of some miracle, he loved me too despite all of it. The last time anyone had truly loved we was when my father was still alive. When he'd died, I'd deemed myself unable to love anyone because I was probably too messed up for anyone to care about me on a romantic scale.

But for some reason Shizuo did.

I wanted to know why, more than anything. Why did he love me? What had I ever done for him? Now I was dying to know.

I got up and glanced at the clock. A lot of time had passed. It was nearly 10. I hadn't noticed through all of my thoughts.

With a sigh, I glanced at Izaya's coat hanging over my desk chair and moved towards my room without taking my eyes off of it.  
I ran a hairbrush a few times through my hair, which had hung limply around my shoulders all night. I tried breathing as easily as I could while tying it back in a ponytail.

I kept up a silent solitude as I took Izaya's jacket and hung it loosely around my shoulders, draping the hood over my face.

Izaya had been expecting me at his apartment about an hour ago. I glanced at my phone, where a single missed call illuminated the screen.

Well, I was going to end things today anyway. May as well lure the bastard out into the open.

I exited my apartment and swam through the morning crowds to reach Sunshine, where I sat again with my thoughts and waited for Izaya to come and find me. It was what he did best, after all, and there was no doubt he would come looking for me when I didn't go along with his whole grand scheme.

I thought about what would happen after I cut ties with Izaya. I thought about tossing Izaya's coat back to him and waiting in front of the door to Shizuo's apartment. Would I knock or would I just wait until he came home or opened the door to see me there? Would he welcome me back or would he just shut me out?

Shizuo had always forgiven me when I'd done something stupid, but I'd hurt his feelings... that was more than stupid. He didn't always show it, but it was usually obvious when something bothered him. He was human just like the rest of us despite people constantly trying to convince him that he wasn't. Shizuo could pretend to be invincible, but the one place he was vulnerable was his feelings. Would he forgive me this time for compromising them?

I didn't know what to expect when I saw him again. I just hoped that everything would turn out okay in the end.

It was at that moment that I felt a presence beside me. "Hello, Ellie-kun~"

"Good morning, Izaya, " I said nonchalantly. "It's about time you got here. I've been waiting for you to show your face."

"You've been waiting for me? How interesting._ You're_ nearly two hours late," he mused. "I assumed tardiness wouldn't be one of your_ many_ talents."

"Let's skip the sarcasm and get to the point," I spat. "I'm done with you."

"What ever do you mean?"

"I kissed you once because I was being stupid, and I did shit for you because I was trying to fix things. I'll admit that now. But three days of being your puppet does not mean that I'll just forget about all the crap you've done to me in my life. Even if all that was worth something."

"That's hypocritical, I seem to remember you doing quite the same to me."

"Because you're always ruining my friends' lives. I know how it feels, and I'm only trying to stop you from hurting everyone."

Izaya smirked. "You've never hated me, Ellie-kun."

I looked away. "Maybe I didn't, but..." I trailed off, not sure how to continue.

"But Shizu-chan does," Izaya pointed out. "You're so naïve. Of course I knew you were lying to me. I've known this whole time that you care for Shizu-chan, and you always have."

"Why do you care?!" I exclaimed, clenching my fists. Deep down, I'd known he'd been running the show this time. I'd just been trying to turn it around.

"Because Shizu-chan is my enemy. I despise him and I would very much like for him to die a horrible death, by my hand of course. However, it would be even more satisfying if I were to take away his happiness before killing him. But Shizu-chan didn't ever have much that made him happy. Just satisfied, so I was always content with taking away his satisfaction. Then _you_ came along, Ellie-kun."

"What?"

"Originally, a pretty girl was never part of the equation. I didn't plan for Shizu-chan to be defeated by something as insignificant as _affection_. I miscalculated that factor. However, now that she is, I get to take her away too. Now, Ellie-kun, it appears that I've won this battle. I believe it's a suitable time to accept my prize."

Izaya's kiss was rough. Possessive. This time, I didn't just struggle. I _fought_.

The first time he'd kissed me, I'd merely squirmed because I'd been uncomfortable. I'd tried to pry him away from me, but nothing beyond that.

This time was different. I gripped both of his shoulders hard, digging my nails into the flesh there. Realizing this wouldn't be enough, I brought my hand up and slugged him directly across the face.

There was a faint popping noise as his lips disconnected from mine, and Izaya touched his bleeding nose. Then he laughed in distaste. "You'll regret that, dear Ellie-kun."

"Sorry," I said with a hard smirk, "But I won't." I threw his jacket back into his face. "I won't be needing _that_ anymore."

Izaya wiped the blood from his nose and caught my hand, throwing his coat back over my shoulders and pulling the hood over my eyes to obscure my vision.

"I apologize, Ellie-kun, but you're playing _my_ game this time. Unfortunately, you won't be allowed to break the rules and get off scot-free."

I swung around behind me, but Izaya was quicker. People were starting to notice and backed away from us, giving a wide circle of space for us to fight it out.

I tugged the hood away from my eyes and fumbled for the switchblade in my sweater pocket, clicking it open and swinging it at Izaya in a wide arc.

At first, I thought he may not have a knife with him because I always remembered him keeping one in the pocket of his coat, but I guess he had more than one hiding spot for a weapon since he had a knife of his own twirling about his fingers. We crossed blades a few times before the fighting got dirtier, and we were full on pushing each other over tables and aiming punches at the other's weak spots.

People were screaming and running away, but all I was focused on was scoring one on Izaya. Forget my pride, this asshole was going _down_.

The fight trickled into the street, where I tackled Izaya and we rolled over each other until Izaya finally ended up over me. I felt the cold steel of his knife touch my lips and draw along the bottom one. Blood dripped down my chin.

"It's a shame, really. Taking off your pretty mouth. Shizu-chan will be _so_ disappointed."

"I'll take off your head first," I growled, and spit at him. We rolled a couple more times until I kicked myself free and Izaya caught the hood of the jacket again. I don't know why I hadn't thought of ditching it before.

He tugged the hood over my head again and the force pulled me down to the sidewalk.

At that moment, time practically stopped. I blinked once and my lips formed Izaya's name the moment I saw him smirk, the moment that I knew something was wrong. And in that same moment, something hit me hard in the spine and sent my body sailing across the street.

Then everything had gone back to a normal sort of speed. I opened my eyes and saw nothing for a long moment, until I blinked and the sunlight dripped back into my vision.

Instinctively, I began to crawl away from the direction the hit had come from. I had to run. That's what I always did.

A series of needles shot up the nerves in my back and I collapsed again near the brick wall of an alley. I locked my jaw and gritted my teeth to keep from screaming. My vision was obscured again by something I couldn't make out, and a voice called out in the distance.

I hung on the cliff of consciousness, pulling myself back up over. Whatever was happening to me was not something good and not something I would give into.

And then the voice calling became clear.

"_IZAYA_!"

I clenched my muscles and dragged myself into the alley ahead of me, trying as gently as possible to prop myself up against the wall.  
That's when my vision cleared and I noticed a soda machine buried in the ground not feet from where I'd just been, and it came together: Shizuo had mistaken me for Izaya.

I cried out then, out of two different kinds of agony. I wasn't sure which one was the more painful one.

I saw Shizuo across the street, fury burning clear on his face. The way I was dressed today, in jeans and a tee shirt, could easily be mistaken for Izaya especially with his coat on my shoulders.

He was going to see that it was me. He would see what I'd done and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no way I could get up and run for it.

"Thought I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro!" Shizuo was shouting. "_Damn flea_!"

He was closer now, only yards from me, when someone called out, "You called for me, Shizu-chan~?"

Shizuo stopped in his tracks and turned to look behind him. Through my spotty vision, I spotted Izaya with that awful Cheshire Cat smile gracing his face.

For a moment, Shizuo looked confused. "But..._ What?!_"

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong person, Shizu-chan. Though you've done quite enough as it is."

"What are you talking about?!" he exclaimed. "What the hell are you up to?!"

"Silly protozoan, you really should make sure you know who your target is before you start throwing things around~! It seems as though you've taken your lovers' quarrel just a bit too far~"

"Lovers'... _what?_"

Shizuo's anger faltered for a moment, and he looked at me again. I tried to shift and adjust myself but the incessant pain in my backside prevented me from doing so. I squinted and saw Shizuo's eyes glance across my body until recognition finally showed in his eyes.

He crossed into the alley, eyes wide, and knelt down to look at me closer. I tried to draw away from him. I didn't want him to see me this way.

Shizuo pulled the hood of Izaya's coat away from my face and let it fall around my shoulders. All of the color drained from his face. "_...No._"

The anger was back all of a sudden; he tore the jacket off of me and tossed it away, ignoring Izaya's existence completely. "Why the_ hell_ didn't you jump out of the way?!" he exclaimed, teeth gritted. He shook my shoulders, which made me cringe.

"I... I don't know...!" I choked out. "I-I didn't know you were there! And besides, I don't exactly feel punished for what I did..."

"That doesn't mean you should let me hit you with a soda machine!" He reached to pick me up. "Now you need medical attention!"

"No, no, I'll be fine," I tried. I struggled to stand up. My muscles screamed in protest, so I stayed on the pavement.

"At least let me take you to see Shinra or something!"

"F-Fine, but not yet," I protested. He was just _so close..._ "I really need to do something first."

"What could you possibly have to do that's more important than your injuries?"

My mouth formed a scowl out of reflex and instinct. I used what muscle power I could muster and grabbed Shizuo's shoulders, pulling him closer to me than he already was. "I can do anything I want."

In the moment when our lips met, Shizuo nearly yanked me off of the ground and pressed me to the wall of the alley. My spine burned and my lungs ached for oxygen, but the last thing I wanted was for him to let me go.

I could've cared less that Izaya had gotten the last laugh, or that I'd probably broken some bones with the soda machine accident.  
All that mattered to me now were Shizuo's arms tight around my waist like they just belonged there and his lips moving almost violently with mine.

I guess I wasn't the only one who'd waited a while for this.

I couldn't help but think about the blatant differences between this kiss and the one I'd shared with Izaya.

The way Izaya had kissed me, like I was simply his own possession, had been rough and passionate. The way his cold hands would grip me in the strangest places and my body would bow against his despite the fact that we were the same height... I hadn't liked it. After a history like mine, I had no taste for the rough and refined kind of affection Izaya had shown me. Like I had been kissing a sharp fragment of ice. Shiny and pretty to look at, but still cold and dangerous.

Maybe it would've been different if Izaya had actually cared about me, but I didn't care enough about him in return to wonder what it would've been like if he was actually capable of feeling love.

This kiss was powerful in more ways than one. There was no restraint, but also no fear. It was a mess of limbs twisted together and fingers running through hair a little too roughly and mouths expressing everything that hadn't been said but should've, but it was somehow just right at the same time.

I had to force myself away from him to save my lungs from exploding, but Shizuo didn't stop kissing me. His lips ran down my throat and across my collarbone in a sort of rhythm, memorizing every inch of the flesh there.

I ran my fingers through his blonde hair, which was already beyond tousled, and felt his body relax into mine. I'd known we'd both been pretty tense, but I guess I hadn't realized just how rigid we really were.

The kiss suddenly evolved into something a little more gentle, a little more careful. That was probably Shizuo remembering my injured backside.

The tight, unbreakable bindings his arms had been around my waist were now more firm, almost protective bonds. Shizuo's mouth found mine again and although the kiss had lost its violent edge, it'd morphed into something softer as well as more sure of itself.

I exhaled comfortably and heard an almost nonexistent sigh escape me. I didn't care much at this point; embarrassment had become a myth to us both.

The kiss ended involuntarily; Shizuo pulled away and rested his head on my shoulder to catch his breath.

My heart was beating so fast, I was almost positive that it was trying to break out of my chest. I tried slowing it down. I listened to the sound of Shizuo's even breathing and watched the midday sunlight glint in his blonde hair.

"It's about_ fucking_ time," he said finally.

"That long, huh?"

"You have _no_ idea."

"Just take me to Shinra," I complained. "I don't want to be restricted the next time I kiss you."

"Ginger, that'll be a_ hell of a lot_ sooner than you think."

Shizuo swung me up into his arms and walked nonchalantly the other way, like we hadn't just made out in an alley.

"I can walk, you know," I huffed.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!"

To prove his point, Shizuo set me on my feet and I stumbled once before he caught me and picked me up again.

"I rest my case," he said firmly.

Roses of heat blossomed in my cheeks and Shizuo went on his way, away from the carnage in the street and towards the edge of downtown where Shinra and Celty lived.

"Shizuo," I said quietly, "I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"You get into trouble every day," was his dull reply. "The trouble wasn't what bothered me."

"Okay... I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"_Crushed them_, more like," he quoted me.

"I understand if you don't forgive me... I did a lot of stupid, mindless things and I—"

Shizuo stopped mid-step and silenced my lips with his. The kiss was too short for me to participate but long enough to leave me speechless.  
"I'm not mad at you," he lamented. "I never really was..."

"Y-You weren't?" I asked breathlessly.

"I was mad at myself because I didn't do anything to help the situation. All I did was sit and feel sorry for myself."

"B-But I did all these bad things..."

"I'm not mad at you," he repeated. "Actually, that flea's more cunning than I give him credit for. Now I definitely have an excuse to break his face."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" I mumbled. "Why don't you hate me?"

"You're only human..."

"So are you," I groaned. "That's the most _miserable_ defense I've ever heard. Please, stop it."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of and tell me you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so I can beg on my knees for you to stay."

"I_ can't_ do that."

"Then stop trying to make me feel better," I complained. "I deserve to suffer for this."

"_No_," he replied, his tone growing impatient. "We've both had enough for one day. You don't deserve any of this."

"Well, you don't deserve it either!" I protested. "You've been nothing but a good friend even when you are moody and irritating but I didn't see that until just recently. And I'm just nothing but a bother to you. I'm surprised you even try to deal with me."

"That's because you dealt with me. You had the patience to hang around me when I was being difficult."

"So, this is about returning the favor?" I asked delicately.

"No," he said again. "You still don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Well you're being pretty vague!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake,_ I'm in love with you_!"

"W-Well, I had a feeling," I stuttered.

"If you knew, why didn't you do anything?!"

"I was trying to fix things... I didn't want you to worry."

"Well that plan failed _spectacularly_."

"You're telling me... I did get one good thing out of this, though."

"What's that?" Shizuo grumbled.

"I got you."

He sighed. "I guess that's true."

"I'm sorry I'm such a headache and I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge your feelings. I'll try to get it right this time."

"Just don't change too much. I don't think I could stand you anymore if you weren't a _little_ annoying."

"Good to know."

I guess I could count this as an apology... But I was still unsure of whether he'd forgiven me or not.

"So, erm... does this mean you forgive me?" I asked sheepishly.

Shizuo, who'd just approached Celty and Shinra's door, set me on the ground and pressed me against the wall. "Sure." We kissed again; this time, it felt familiar. I knew exactly how we fit together, his arm around my waist, my hands on his chest, the pressure of his lips on mine.

The distant sound of a door opening caught my attention, but I didn't exactly find the time to address it until quite a while after my mind had registered it. Shizuo and I both turned at the same time.

Ronan, grinning like a proud father.

I was planning on saying something, but it was Shizuo who spoke first. "Don't you have a comic book to finish, or something?" But the way he said it wasn't condescending at all. It was actually kind of lighthearted.

"Actually, I have a brother that owes me twenty bucks. If you'll excuse me~"

* * *

**I was planning on making you guys wait another chapter until they kiss, but whatever :D I DO WHAT I WANT YO**

**I think it's kind of ironic how I was actually already planning on having Shizuo catch Ellie while she's wearing Izaya's coat, and you guys kept spamming my inbox with, "Hey Shizuo should see her in the jacket" or "heeey he should catch her in Izaya's coat." We're just synced that way I guess ^_^**

**Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter because honestly I hate writing violence and angst almost as much as Shizuo hates committing it. This also took me a damn long time to put together.**

**Yeah so my sister is standing over me demanding that I give her credit because she helped me come up with the few ending sentences and don't worry she's not scary or threatening or anything just kind of wacko ^_^ **

**(JK JK XDD)**

**And yeah. Next chapter coming soon... The real point of the story will begin soon, I promise. Just deal with a little more ShizuoXEllie for now... If you can ;D**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


	20. Interest

**Hello everyone~! Well, I officially have 21 days left until school begins. 3 weeks. It feels like just yesterday I was celebrating it being done for the year T-T**

**Despite that, here's another chapter~ "Shillie is official," someone mentioned, and indeed it is ;D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_ "Good morning~!" Ellie exclaimed, traipsing into Tom's office. "Ellie Jacobson, reporting for duty~!"_

_ "The hell, ginger?" Shizuo grumbled._

_ "I was trying to be happy," she retorted, "the mood in here feels like someone's fucking dog just died."_

_ "Actually that's just you."_

_ "Cute. You seen Tom?"_

_ "Yeah, just left down the hall a bit ago. He left your crap on the desk."_

_ "Thanks, happy," Ellie laughed. She sat down in the big spinning chair, her legs over one of the arms, and spun a couple times before beginning to cut through the work Tom had left for her to take care of._

_ "What's on your agenda today besides smoking and sitting in a dark corner?" Ellie teased._

_ Shizuo sent her a deathly glare, but the redheaded informant didn't give._

_ "Don't tell me you're not doing anything," she said, "that's so boring!"_

_ "Oh, and the shit you do is considered fun?"_

_ "More fun than what you do!"_

_ "You don't even know what I do half the time!"_

_ "So, you don't smoke and sit in dark corners all day?"_

_ "Sometimes I walk around and throw crap at the flea."_

_ "And that isn't very fun, is it?" Shizuo didn't answer, and Ellie smirked. "I rest my case."_

_ The door opened a few moments later, and Ellie looked up thinking that it was Tom._

_ Standing there instead was a girl, younger than Ellie but probably only by a few years, with shoulder length blonde hair and strangely blue (almost violet) eyes. She was kind of tall and slim with a womanly figure, and her eyes darted around the room._

_ "I apologize, I was looking for Shizuo—"_

_ Ellie pointed to the chair in the corner, where Shizuo had secluded himself._

_ "Hey, Vorona," Shizuo said._

_ "Are you gonna introduce me to your new friend or not?" Ellie complained._

_ Shizuo exhaled. "That's Vorona, she's new. She works with me."_

_ "Tom got another bodyguard? Cool. I'm Elena, but people just call me Ellie. I put the records into the databases and crud. Nice to meet you."_

_ "...likewise."_

_ Ellie continued her work, trying not to listen to this new person talking with Shizuo about dumb, trivial stuff._

_ Eventually, she got really bothered. Shizuo sounded happy when he talked to her. Way less pissy than when he talked to her._

_ Go figure, she was blonde and pretty with boobs._

_ Why Ellie was frustrated by this, she didn't know. All she knew was that she hated feeling lesser than this new girl._

_ Even worse, she had this awful hunch that the inferior feeling she felt wouldn't disappear anytime soon._

* * *

"Pay attention to me, I'm_ bored._"

"Patience is a virtue," I replied matter-of-factly. "And I'm working. Live with it for a few more minutes."

Shizuo let out a loud, exasperated groan and I chuckled to myself. "Impatient..."

"Why did I come over here when you're not even going to look at me?" he complained.

I averted my eyes from my computer screen and stared at him with raised eyebrows. "Happy?"

"Not really."

I smirked and rolled my eyes, looking back at what I'd been doing.

It was then that silence ensued and was broken moments later by Shizuo answering his cell phone. "Yeah?"

I froze when he answered, "'Sup, Vorona?"

On instinct, I leaned closer and could make out Vorona's voice on the other end through the silence, saying, "So, are you doing anything tonight?"

My fingers scratched along the top of my desk.

"Why?" Shizuo asked in a monotonous voice.

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner or something."

I slammed my chair against the window getting out of it and stalked over to the couch, where I yanked Shizuo's phone out of his grasp and held it to my ear before he had even formulated an answer.

"Hello, Vorona, this is Ellie Jacobson. I'm sorry if there's been some sort of miscommunication, but Shizuo is unavailable tonight." The threat in my voice was suddenly unmistakable, and I was outrageously proud of the venom in my tone. "To be blatantly honest, he'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening."

But I wasn't sorry at all. In fact, I snapped Shizuo's phone shut, feeling triumphant, and handed it back to him with what felt like a sadistic smirk on my face.

He stared at me, mouth slightly agape. "...what was_ that_?"

"That was me making sure that you belong to_ me_ and nobody else," I answered nonchalantly.

"Jealous?" he asked lightly; I rolled my eyes and began to walk away.

Shizuo wound an arm around my waist and yanked me back toward him. "_Jealous_?"

"Problem?" I asked sourly.

"Not really." He pulled me closer and kissed me, hard. I barely had time to catch my breath before he literally swept me off of my feet and into his arms.

"Like I'd be jealous of _her_," I mumbled, twisting my fingers into his hair. "I don't have to ask if you're free for dinner."

"So, I'm busy tonight," he wondered. "What will I be doing?"

"Anything you'd like."

"Say for instance I'd_ like_ to go to dinner with Vorona."

"I wouldn't stop you. I'd probably just follow you there and make sure she doesn't try anything funny," I said nonchalantly. "Why? Are you considering it?"

"Not really."

"Then what_ do_ you want to do tonight?"

"Less of a _what_ and more of a _who_, but I've got a pretty good idea," he replied, eyes tracing down my body.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not on the agenda this evening."

"It was worth a shot."

"Now would you mind carrying me that way?" I asked, pointing to my desk. "I'm still not done with my work and I've been procrastinating all day."

Shizuo carried me over to my desk and sat down in my chair, dropping me on his lap.

I looked at him, and he shrugged. "You never said that I couldn't sit down too." He wound his arms around my waist. "Now be a good little informant and finish your work."

"Oh, fuck you."

"What time?"

"Shut up."

It'd been a while since our issues and misgivings had played out and been resolved. Things had been a little ragged between us for a week or so after the soda machine accident, but luckily I hadn't been injured that badly. Shinra had said that the blow had missed my spinal chord by inches and only impacted my muscles. The byproduct of the whole accident was just a really bad bruise that had made Shizuo painfully cautious and quiet around me.

Well, it'd long since healed and we were currently adjusting to life together.

Shizuo and I had mended back together in a different, better way than before, and now we were at a place where we could shamelessly tease each other and the silence was no longer uncomfortable.

We'd had a lot more freedom to talk with each other since that barrier between us had been broken down, and I learned that there were things he knew about me that even I had never noticed before.

I'd never actually realized how nice it was to know that someone actually cared enough to know almost everything about me. And he'd tossed out all kind of things, like my favorite color and my favorite pair of shoes and what I liked to do when the weather was cold and I was cooped up all day. Which was odd, because I couldn't remember a time when I'd told him that. Or maybe I had and I just didn't remember.

"You're distracting me," I mumbled, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the screen of my computer.

"Well I'm bored," Shizuo said, continuing to play with the ends of my hair.

I stifled a groan and typed a little faster. The only thing worse than not having my work done was getting distracted from it more than once and then having it pile up.

As I was finishing things, there was a strange vibrating under me. "What the hell was that?"

Shizuo dug around in his pockets and pulled out his cell phone, waving it in my face a couple times before answering it. "Yo, Tom."

I locked up my computer and listened to the conversation.

"Hey, man, I know it's getting late, but I could use you down here right about now."

"Yeah, sure, I'll head over."

"Thanks."

"Uh huh."

Shizuo hung up and lifted me off of his lap, setting me down on my desk. "I'm going to work."

"Yes, I heard," I said. "Try not to bend any street signs."

"No promises," was his reply. His lips pressed forcefully against mine for a long moment until I pushed him away.

"Now be a good little bodyguard and finish your work," I retorted.

He made a noncommittal noise and ambled towards the door. "See you, ginger."

"Bye, Heiwajima-san~"

Shizuo closed the door behind him and I waited a bit before peering out my window and watching him walk towards the tax building. I noticed his posture was a lot better and he almost walked like... well, like he had a purpose in life.

He'd actually been in a way better mood lately despite keeping up his tough-guy image. Less pissy and just easier to be around in general. From the clues I'd gathered in the past, it was probably mostly my fault. It's not that I was complaining, actually, it was just the opposite. I was pretty glad that I had a hand in his sudden mood change.

We weren't exactly blatant about our relationship in public past holding hands and the occasional peck on the cheek... When we were behind closed doors, though, he shed that off and became almost a completely different person.

I was still adjusting, but it was so much better than the way we were before.

I was still looking out the window; I noticed something else.

Alex, pulling my mom quickly along the sidewalk and looking around him like he was being followed. Sure enough, after they disappeared from my sight, a group of scary-looking guys came out of nowhere with their noticeably big knives and scowls. They seemed to be looking for something. Or someone.

A vicious part of my conscience was chanting, _"let them go; let them get what they deserve._

But that other part of me spoke up and wanted me to help them. It wanted them to stay out of harm's way for a couple reasons: Would they go after my brothers, too?

The decision was clear; I had to keep them out of harm's way now, for that reason and for another that the vicious part was telling me. If anyone was to physically punish my parents for their actions, it would be me.

I got up and slipped on a jacket with a hood, stuffing my keys in my pocket. Hibiki watched me from the counter as I exited the apartment.  
As soon as I was out, I turned into the alley between my building and Shizuo's, scaling the wall to the other side. If I could use the buildings to my advantage, I could catch them easier.

I vaulted over a few, checking every side street I came across, until I ended up on Sunshine Street, where there were too many people to count at this hour.

The sun was beginning to go down and it caught blonde highlights in the crowd; I knew it couldn't be Shizuo, the tax building was the other way.

Alex kept pushing through the crowd and moved with my mother into an alley. One that I knew went through on both sides, but was also a dangerous place to get caught.

I jumped down into the street and parted the crowd to get to the other side, climbing a wall in a separate alley. I peeked over the next side street.

They were halfway through the pathway when a familiar face blocked their path. The man with the dyed hair whom I had recognized more than one time before, the person who was called 'Sho.'

"Where d'ya think you're goin'?" he asked in a long, drawling tone.

Alex and my mother backed up and began to run, but their behind route was blocked by another familiar face, a Yellow Scarf I recognized as Horada.

"Nowhere," Horada said with a smug grin.

I lowered myself onto a fire escape and hid, listening to what was building.

"I'll have your payment soon, just leave us alone."

"Yeah, that's why ya moved cities," Sho replied. "But you forget that we're here in Ikebukuro, too."

"I-I didn't forget. The only reason we left Shibuya was because there were no job opportunities there. I had to support my family..."

This was unusual, but strangely pleasurable. I'd never seen Alex give like that before. He'd always been in control of everything.

"Ya had us, what's not to like?"

Chuckling rose from other gang members who had surrounded the area. I estimated ten or twelve not including Sho and Horada.

"I just need more time," Alex was saying.

"We gave you enough time, and then you ran from us. You get no more chances."

That's when I decided to intervene. I draped myself over the side of the fire escape and moaned sarcastically, "Oh, no, _violence_! I can't watch~!"

A string of murmurs erupted from the gang members and Horada's smirk turned into nothing less than a lustful glare. "Well, if it isn't our good little friend, Lena Jacobson. How ya holding up, red?"

"It's_ Elena_, and I'm here on a bit of business."

"Yeah? Whatcha want?"

"Let's make a deal: you leave these folks to themselves and I'll pay you double of what they owe."

"You askin' to pay off their debt for them?"

"Of course not," I replied smoothly. "They dug their hole, they get out of it themselves. But I'm feeling generous today and second chances sound good to me at the moment."

"What's in it for you, red?"

"Just the satisfaction of knowing I've done a good thing," I lied easily.

Sho let out a smooth laugh. "Sorry red, but it's no deal. I doubt you could repay what this guy owes."

"Try me."

That's when a knife buried itself in the bricks next to my head. Someone had thrown a knife.

I spotted the person, a dark haired guy with thick features and tan skin. I wasn't sure if he'd missed on purpose or just on accident. Horada turned and gave the guy a hard glare, which made him shrink back.

"Nice blade," I commented, pulling it out of the mortar. "It's too bad you wasted it." I held the knife by the blade, between my index and middle fingers and flicked my wrist, releasing the knife as soon as my hand bent to a 90° angle.

The blade buried itself in the dark-haired guy's shoulder and he shrieked loudly, grabbing at his collarbone.

"Hm," I mused. "My aim is getting better. Nevertheless... If it's no deal, I'll still have to take these people off of your hands."

I kicked the ladder of the fire escape down and it landed on Horada, his head trapped between a two of the rungs.

"Get this damn thing off of me!" he was shouting. Every time he turned, he took out about three of his underlings with the rest of the ladder.

I jumped up off of the fire escape and landed on the balls of my feet, ducking just in time to avoid Sho swinging a fist over my head. I slipped around him and kept back to back with him, mirroring his movements to the best of my ability.

"Stop being a coward, info broker!" He exclaimed. "Come here and face me!"

"Sure," I retorted, kicking my foot out in front of his. Sho tripped over me and I spun back, flipping my knife out of my jacket pocket and putting a few considerably deep cuts across two more Yellow Scarves.

Sho grabbed my ponytail and yanked. Air hissed out my teeth as I locked my jaw, trying to avoid showing any pain.

"If you weren't so much of a pain, red, I might just date you. Y'think Shizuo Heiwajima would mind if I stole a quick kiss?"

I flipped my knife around and jammed it backwards into any flesh I could find and Sho's hold released; he howled in agony and I rubbed the stinging pain away from the back of my head. "Actually, he might just break you in half."

I pulled the knife out of where I'd stuck it into his bicep and swallowed while I tried not to look at the blood on it.

Horada was still fucking up everything with that ladder. A couple of guys were trying to get it off of him, but it wasn't exactly working. Most of the gang members had run off to bandage themselves off or had avoided a knife to the face and just straight up booked it. I stepped over Sho and glanced in the direction of my mother.

"You're lucky I caught up with you," I grumbled. "Don't make me have to bail you out again. Now, I suggest that you get going."

My mother opened her mouth to say something, but Alex had dragged her out of the alley before a word could escape her.  
I, on the other hand, glanced at the mess around me. "I don't think I'll call the cops on you this time, since you do call me every second Tuesday of the month, but count this as a warning." I glared down at Sho, who was gripping his arm. "Especially you."

I scaled the wall again and took off across the tops of the buildings. The sun had set a few minutes ago, so I decided to go home and remiss for a few more hours before I decided on sleeping.

I passed through downtown on foot, having stopped traveling by roof a few blocks ago. Neon signs were just beginning to light up as I approached my building, and my apartment was brightened by their glow.

I sat down in my desk chair. Hibiki curled up on my lap.

What had confused me about the encounter with the Scarves—with Sho and Horada and my parents—was that I was still in the dark about what they wanted.

Sho had mentioned a 'payment.' Something that they had escaped from Shibuya to avoid paying. It seemed like money would be the ideal trade, but when I'd offered to pay, Sho had also told me that I wouldn't be able to repay it.

So, what did they owe?

Out of curiosity, I opened up my computer and sifted through Alex's files.

As always, everything checked out. Immigration documents, citizenship, wife and two children. Figures it wouldn't be registered as three.  
There wasn't a registered profession there, just a blank space. That was a little odd, since the last time I'd checked it had read that he was an accountant.

I didn't know what that meant, nor did I really bother to close read it like I probably should've.

Records showed that he had cleared up his debts with the bank and hadn't borrowed any money recently, so he had a pretty good credit score. On paper, he was a good citizen. What did a color gang want with a good citizen?

I leafed through everything else I could find on him, which wasn't much. Just some tax records, a registry with the loaning agency and a few pages of debt. A graduate degree from the University of Berkeley in California and a major in business. Mostly formal things, not much else.

That's when I stumbled across a document that was written in English and stamped with the United States seal.

It read his name at the top, and a declaration of his employment with the CIA.

Alex was in the CIA? If I recalled, that was the super smart and sneaky division of the US Government that dealt with international crises.  
Some part of me wasn't exactly surprised, since he'd always sort of acted like an army commissioner. Always so obsessed with his rules.  
I wondered if my mother knew who she'd married. Even more, I wondered if Alex was still in league with the government. After all, he was considerably young and I'd been under the impression that government workers serve until they die.

Maybe he'd resigned? Done something worthy of being fired?

Or maybe he hadn't?

Nevertheless, the revelation jolted me and put a lot more questions in my head. Including why a possible CIA agent was in cahoots with color gangs. And why he had left America for Japan in the first place.

Well, he had a habit of running from problems. He was running from those gangs, wasn't he? Maybe he was running from the United States, too.

I didn't know. My head hurt.

I tossed my legs over the other end of the chair and thought over it for a bit.

Alex was obviously a lot smarter than I gave him credit for... So, how do you outsmart a smarty? Maybe, if I just tried hard enough, I could get him I spill on his own?

I ran a hand through my hair and glanced out the window again.

Just when things start to get peaceful, the same person just ruins them again.

_Figures._

* * *

**I know there's a lot of things I haven't addressed, but that's good~ I like keeping my readers in suspense.**

***le gasp* Alex you bad person, messing with the government!**

**Well it will all come together, I promise. Like I said, this is where the real story begins :)**

**And just a little more fanservice for you Shillie shippers. (It's kind of fanservice for me too since I kind of OTP them XDD)**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, more to come soon~!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**See ya ;D**

**-Eibon**


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